# Why Can't I Own a Canadian? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 12, 2007, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771 "2007-12-12T19:31:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/41 "2007-12-13T20:24:14Z")
[QUOTE=Kuboydal] Relax, Coors isn’t even beer. Terrapin makes a Golden Ale that’s like Joe Molson brewing in heaven. [/QUOTE] Cite? (Bottles preferred.) > [@Antigen](#): > > Finicky? Please, we eat stew with pigs’ feet in it and have nun’s farts for dessert. Have you ever been to an Applebee’s in Toronto? We could only _dream_ of gourmet fare such as nun farts. > [@Spoons](#): > > The CPR was promoted by Sir John A. Macdonald (a Scotsman), built by Chinese labour, and completed by Cornelius Van Horne (an American). And the English did…? …a mighty fine curry. (Indian.) ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/42 "2007-12-13T20:25:33Z")
[QUOTE=Spoons] …and there are always free sodas and hot dogs for the kiddies. [/QUOTE] That’s “pop and hot dogs”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/43 "2007-12-13T20:28:25Z")
Whereas on the 13th day of December, A.D. 2007, a proclamation was issued by Kythereia, the resident goddess of love at the Straight Dope Message Board, containing, among other things, the following, to wit: That on the 13th day of December, A.D. 2007, all Canadians held as slaves within any State or designated part of a State the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United States shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free… ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/44 "2007-12-13T20:28:26Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] That’s “pop and hot dogs”. 😃 [/QUOTE] It’s aimed at an American audience, okay? Hey, Honest Dougie will even take a check… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/45 "2007-12-13T20:31:40Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] Cite? (Bottles preferred.) [/QUOTE] [http://www.terrapinbeer.com/beers/golden.ale.php](http://www.terrapinbeer.com/beers/golden.ale.php) Every beer is great, but some beers are much greater than others. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/46 "2007-12-13T20:33:58Z")
Hey, do you have any vintage Canadians? I’m looking for a 1980s-era Big Bobby Clobber. ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/47 "2007-12-13T20:37:41Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] Whereas on the 13th day of December, A.D. 2007, a proclamation was issued by Kythereia, the resident goddess of love at the Straight Dope Message Board, containing, among other things, the following, to wit: That on the 13th day of December, A.D. 2007, all Canadians held as slaves within any State or designated part of a State the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United States shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free… [/QUOTE] I can’t wait to tell the Ms. Kuboydal. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/48 "2007-12-13T20:42:35Z")
I’d like to have a stable of Canadians. They can pull my car along. Unless they’re fine, nubile Canadian babes, then they can be my harem. My girlfriend will have to accept the new competition. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/49 "2007-12-13T21:00:31Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] Hey, do you have any vintage Canadians? I’m looking for a 1980s-era Big Bobby Clobber. [/QUOTE] Oooh! Oooh! Do you have an early eighties Sharon Seto? ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/50 "2007-12-13T21:20:25Z")
We need to start cloning Shatner. Everyone needs a Shatner. “_Has been_” ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/51 "2007-12-13T21:28:29Z")
This is what is wrong with the economy. Why can’t you people just buy American(s) instead of all these cheap imports? ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/52 "2007-12-13T21:41:08Z")
Nobody in America wants to manufacture Canadians anymore. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/53 "2007-12-13T23:51:20Z")
[QUOTE=Kuboydal] Nobody in America wants to manufacture Canadians anymore. [/QUOTE] My American-born, half-Canadian three year old might like to disagree with you. > [@Sunspace](#): > > But worth it. The winter plumage of Canadians is impressive; many in the south have never seen it in its full glory. I have to beg to differ. After living in the NWT, I can only conclude that it’s Southern Canadians who look like this in the winter. I went through one winter with just a fleece and windbreaker. Ya big babies. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/54 "2007-12-13T23:57:47Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] Oooh! Oooh! Do you have an early eighties Sharon Seto? [/QUOTE] I did many years ago, but one day she just up and took off with Liz Grogan. I still don’t know how they reconnected, but I did spot Billy Van and Robin Ward skulking around the bushes on several occasions around that time, and I had a strange message on my answering machine from Luba Goy. > [@Kuboydal](#): > > We need to start cloning Shatner. Everyone needs a Shatner. What for? More Tekwar books and bad travel commercials? > [@Kuboydal](#): > > Nobody in America wants to manufacture Canadians anymore. That’s because we’re too expensive to maintain while we await shipment to retail outlets. Importing Canadian beer ain’t cheap! ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2007, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/55 "2007-12-14T00:42:02Z")
Waiter, I’d like a Callum Keith Rennie to go, please. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2007, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/56 "2007-12-14T03:58:13Z")
Simple math - there are 10 of you to every 1 of us. That makes Canadians rare and therefore much more valuable. A collector’s item, if you will. ( **Spoons** - “check?” Dude. ) ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2007, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/57 "2007-12-14T04:14:51Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] Simple math - there are 10 of you to every 1 of us. That makes Canadians rare and therefore much more valuable. A collector’s item, if you will. [/QUOTE] Wow, that makes me wish I was from the Pitcairn Islands instead. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2007, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/58 "2007-12-14T04:19:55Z")
Oh, please, don’t start convincing Americans we’re collectors items. Then we’ll start getting these rich artsy types hoarding as many as he can get his hands on and hanging us on walls or placing us in glass-encased daises among the columns of his west wing. I do _not_ want to be a gargoyle on the cornice of some rich dude’s castle! [sub]Not unless I can poop on him whenever he walks under me.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2007, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/59 "2007-12-14T04:24:06Z")
Hmm, would it be immoral to creatae limited edition offspring to sell to collectors? What if your was so famous you could fund a leacherous binge, coast bto coast, on the railway? If it’s art, would the government fund it? ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2007, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771/60 "2007-12-14T04:34:52Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] Oh, please, don’t start convincing Americans we’re collectors items. Then we’ll start getting these rich artsy types hoarding as many as he can get his hands on and hanging us on walls or placing us in glass-encased daises among the columns of his west wing. I do _not_ want to be a gargoyle on the cornice of some rich dude’s castle! [sub]Not unless I can poop on him whenever he walks under me.[/sub] [/QUOTE] I can just see the web site now: [collect-a-canadian.com](http://collect-a-canadian.com), with a weekly special on Canuks or a hardy northern type. Now me, I don’t really want to collect 'em, but I wouldn’t mind a nice display piece or, better yet, a cozy snuggle-up. Where do I go to order one? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/429771.md?page=4)