# Why can't she have it without spam? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 19, 2010, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497 "2010-01-19T01:27:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/1 "2010-01-19T01:27:44Z")
The first two dishes mentioned are eggs and bacon, and eggs, sausage and bacon. Why does she later insist they don’t have anything without spam? ---
**Author:** ![K364](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k364/32/5_2.png) [@K364](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/K364)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/2 "2010-01-19T01:36:01Z")
Because of all the fish in the atmosphere? ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/3 "2010-01-19T01:42:24Z")
From “Burns and Allen” Sponsor: Spam Geroge) I’m all dressed up because I’m going to meet with Mr Smith the head of the company that makes Spam Gracie) You want to get all formal for Hor-mul? George) That’s hor-MELL Gracie ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/4 "2010-01-19T01:45:07Z")
> [@Maserschmidt](#): > > The first two dishes mentioned are eggs and bacon, and eggs, sausage and bacon. Why does she later insist they don’t have anything without spam? This bothers me also, but it would ruin the joke. They should go bac and add in a digital effect to fix it. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/5 "2010-01-19T01:49:25Z")
> [@Maserschmidt](#): > > The first two dishes mentioned are eggs and bacon, and eggs, sausage and bacon. Why does she later insist they don’t have anything without spam? The bacon is made out of spam. ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/6 "2010-01-19T01:54:42Z")
She could probably have had eggs, sausage and bacon (though why anyone would want that is beyond be), but that’s not what she ordered. She specifically asked if she could get “egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam;” and as the cook/waitress very properly observed, “You can’t have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.” ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/7 "2010-01-19T02:04:29Z")
Never try and analyze comedy, Hugh. Never. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/3LckVrFzTyo/hqdefault.jpg "Fry and Laurie - Comedy Masterclass") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LckVrFzTyo) ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/8 "2010-01-19T02:10:21Z")
I’ll have her Spam. I love it! ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/9 "2010-01-19T02:15:44Z")
> [@OttoDaFe](#): > > She could probably have had eggs, sausage and bacon (though why anyone would want that is beyond be), but that’s not what she ordered. She specifically asked if she could get “egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam;” and as the cook/waitress very properly observed, “You can’t have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.” Doesn’t the cook say they don’t have anything without spam? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/10 "2010-01-19T02:18:21Z")
Nope. There is Egg and Bacon, and Egg, Sausage and Bacon. Spam doesn’t kick in until the third item on the menu. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/11 "2010-01-19T02:22:55Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Doesn’t the cook say they don’t have anything without spam? Not exactly. The exchange goes: Wife: Have you got anything without spam? Waitress: Well, there’s spam egg sausage and spam, that’s not got much spam in it. Me, I’ll have a slice of strawberry tart with not so much rat in it. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/12 "2010-01-19T03:33:31Z")
[This](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=1182392&postcount=91) is one of my all-time favorite SDMB posts. Even Mr. S gets a huge chuckle out of it, and we are always quoting the pivotal line whenever eggs coom into the conversation: > [@Phrogge](#): > > While on a bus trip from London to Edinburgh, I bought supper in a bus depot cafeteria (which, from its looks, might regularly have been infested with hordes of Vikings chanting the virtues of spam.) I ordered a Number 4, steak and kidney pie with veg and a fried egg; but, I requested, “no egg, please.” > > “It cooms wi’ uh egg,” came the brusque reply. > > “Yes, I know, but I don’t want the egg. Just don’t give me one.” > > “It cooms wi’ uh egg.” > > “Look, I certainly will pay the full amount, but all I want is a Number 4 with NO FRIED EGG. I do not like eggs, I will not eat the egg, I will throw the egg directly into the trash. Why waste the egg? Just don’t cook the egg, give give me the steak & kidney pie and the veg but NOT the egg!, and I will pay the whole bill, just as if there WERE an egg.” > > “It cooms wi’ uh egg.” > > All right, all right; I gave in. The mindlessly stubborn robot did not pass the order on to a cook: she stepped over to the grill and fried the damn egg herself!, after which she determinedly plopped it atop the steak and kidney pie, rang up the bill, and thrust the Number 4 platter into my waiting hands. We then exchanged hostile glares as I determinedly and pointedly scraped thuh egg into the garbage can. > > The phrase has now become enshrined as our family’s comment on experiencing the behaviour of morons unencumbered by the thinking process. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/13 "2010-01-19T03:57:12Z")
Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! **No one** expects the Spammish Repetition! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/14 "2010-01-19T04:20:58Z")
Spam post reported. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![not\_alice](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_alice/32/7283_2.png) [@not\_alice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_alice)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/15 "2010-01-19T04:30:07Z")
They _had_ dishes without spam, but they sold out 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/16 "2010-01-19T04:54:09Z")
I’d order the spam on the side. How would I like it prepared? In the can. ---
**Author:** ![In\_Winnipeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a8b319/32.png) [@In\_Winnipeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Winnipeg)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/17 "2010-01-19T06:02:34Z")
Albatross! ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/18 "2010-01-19T06:14:01Z")
For those who haven’t seen Five Easy Pieces, watch a young Jack Nicholson order toast: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/6wtfNE4z6a8/hqdefault.jpg "Five Easy Pieces Diner Scene") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wtfNE4z6a8) ---
**Author:** ![MitzeKatze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@MitzeKatze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MitzeKatze)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/19 "2010-01-19T06:37:34Z")
It really is simply that they didn’t have it without Spam isn’t it? After all you can’t get “eggs, bacon, spam and sausage” without Spam because then it is something different not “eggs, bacon, Spam and sausage”. 😉 It reminds me of a real-life conversation I had once at a fast-food place. I wanted a hamburger, but they sold only cheeseburgers. I ordered a hamburger and was told they didn’t have them. It went like this: Me: But you have cheeseburgers, I don’t want the cheese. I will pay the same price but I want a plain hamburger. Kid at counter: We don’t have hamburgers, I can get you a cheeseburger. Me: But you have cheeseburgers, can you please just leave off the cheese and make it a hamburger? Kid at counter: So you want a cheeseburger with no cheese? Why didn’t you just say that? Me: 😕:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/20 "2010-01-19T09:31:01Z")
**Customer:** The menu says ‘Apple pie with custard or ice cream’ - can I just have apple pie, without the ice cream? **Waitress:** I’m sorry, we’re out of ice cream - you’ll have to have it without custard instead. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497.md?page=2)