# Why can't she have it without spam? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 19, 2010, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497 "2010-01-19T01:27:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/21 "2010-01-19T09:35:13Z")
> [@Maserschmidt](#): > > The first two dishes mentioned are eggs and bacon, and eggs, sausage and bacon. Why does she later insist they don’t have anything without spam? Those are the meals on the menu and there are absolutely no substitutions. The management is firm on this. Now are you going pick one or do I need to call the cook. We don’t mollycoddle people here. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/22 "2010-01-19T10:31:32Z")
Bloody Vikings! ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/23 "2010-01-19T11:02:47Z")
> [@Maserschmidt](#): > > The first two dishes mentioned are eggs and bacon, and eggs, sausage and bacon. Why does she later insist they don’t have anything without spam? Because the bacon is cursed. But it comes with _free spam!_ The spam is also cursed. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/24 "2010-01-19T11:24:25Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > Because the bacon is cursed. But it comes with _free spam!_ > > The spam is also cursed. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/25 "2010-01-19T13:15:25Z")
> [@MitzeKatze](#): > > It reminds me of a real-life conversation I had once at a fast-food place. I wanted a hamburger, but they sold only cheeseburgers. I ordered a hamburger and was told they didn’t have them. It went like this: > > Me: But you have cheeseburgers, I don’t want the cheese. I will pay the same price but I want a plain hamburger. > > Kid at counter: We don’t have hamburgers, I can get you a cheeseburger. > > Me: But you have cheeseburgers, can you please just leave off the cheese and make it a hamburger? > > Kid at counter: So you want a cheeseburger with no cheese? Why didn’t you just say that? > > Me: 😕:rolleyes: Ya know. a skit about that would’ve really worked in SNL’s early days! Did they have Cokes or Pepsi? BrainGlutton, You are my hero for the day. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/26 "2010-01-19T13:43:59Z")
Beans are off! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/27 "2010-01-19T14:12:39Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > Beans are off! I’ve seen that “are off” phrase before but I’m not clear what it means. “We’re out of them”? ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/28 "2010-01-19T14:12:49Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > This bothers me also, but it would ruin the joke. They should go bac and add in a digital effect to fix it. Nobody wants to eat walkie-talkies. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/29 "2010-01-19T14:16:25Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > **Customer:** The menu says ‘Apple pie with custard or ice cream’ - can I just have apple pie, without the ice cream? > **Waitress:** I’m sorry, we’re out of ice cream - you’ll have to have it without custard instead. I love it! Now if you’ll pardon me, I’m going to stop by a local establishment for some cheesy comestibles… ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/30 "2010-01-19T14:17:32Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > I’ve seen that “are off” phrase before but I’m not clear what it means. “We’re out of them”? I’ve always assumed it to mean they’re spoiled. But I have no other context than this sketch. I just enjoy that line. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/31 "2010-01-19T14:30:05Z")
> [@robardin](#): > > Now if you’ll pardon me, I’m going to stop by a local establishment for some cheesy comestibles… Beg pardon? 😕 It doesn’t matter, we’re all out of cheese – the cat ate it. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/32 "2010-01-19T14:36:01Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > I’ve seen that “are off” phrase before but I’m not clear what it means. “We’re out of them”? > [@Wheelz](#): > > I’ve always assumed it to mean they’re spoiled. But I have no other context than this sketch. I just enjoy that line. No, “off” means unavailable. I assume that it’s short for “off the menu”. It could be because they’re spoiled, but it’s more likely to be because they’ve run out, or forgot to order them today. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/33 "2010-01-19T14:38:43Z")
Now, if the kipper were off, it might still be avaialable but I would avoid ordering it. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/34 "2010-01-19T14:52:03Z")
Spam has one big similarity with comedy: you should never watch it being made. ---
**Author:** ![In\_Winnipeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a8b319/32.png) [@In\_Winnipeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Winnipeg)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/35 "2010-01-19T16:41:54Z")
Albatross!! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/36 "2010-01-19T18:12:37Z")
> [@OttoDaFe](#): > > She could probably have had eggs, sausage and bacon (though why anyone would want that is beyond be), Why not? In fact, I’m in the mood for exactly that for breakfast right now. With a slice of toast, a bowl of Banana Nut Cheerios, and a nice cuppa coffee. Anyway, this thread could use a little music from [Weird Al.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSjj2kj2LXo) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/37 "2010-01-19T18:16:49Z")
> [@In\_Winnipeg](#): > > Albatross! Does it come with wafers? ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/38 "2010-01-19T18:49:09Z")
Dead Indian! ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/39 "2010-01-19T19:12:35Z")
> [@MitzeKatze](#): > > It really is simply that they didn’t have it without Spam isn’t it? After all you can’t get “eggs, bacon, spam and sausage” without Spam because then it is something different not “eggs, bacon, Spam and sausage”. 😉 > > It reminds me of a real-life conversation I had once at a fast-food place. I wanted a hamburger, but they sold only cheeseburgers. I ordered a hamburger and was told they didn’t have them. It went like this: > > Me: But you have cheeseburgers, I don’t want the cheese. I will pay the same price but I want a plain hamburger. > > Kid at counter: We don’t have hamburgers, I can get you a cheeseburger. > > Me: But you have cheeseburgers, can you please just leave off the cheese and make it a hamburger? > > Kid at counter: So you want a cheeseburger with no cheese? Why didn’t you just say that? > > Me: 😕:rolleyes: McDonald’s has a Quarter Pounder with Cheese on the menu, but no Quarter Pounder. So I have to order a “Quarter Pounder with Cheese WITHOUT CHEESE.” Similarly Burger King has been selling their double cheeseburgers for $1, but their double hamburgers are more expensive. So to get the cheaper price I have to order a “double cheeseburger with no cheese.” ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497/40 "2010-01-19T20:01:45Z")
> [@In\_Winnipeg](#): > > Albatross!! What flavour is it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-she-have-it-without-spam/525497.md?page=3)