# Why can't some people learn to explain things better? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 20, 2010, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158 "2010-05-20T18:09:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2010, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/41 "2010-05-21T15:31:17Z")
> [@Bearflag70](#): > > First, you have those who hyper-explain things. My dad’s description of such people: “Ask him the time and he’ll tell you how to build a clock.” > [@Misnomer](#): > > Sometimes I just want to make everyone join [Toastmasters](http://www.toastmasters.org/) and force them to repeatedly provide 90-second [table topic](http://toastmasters.wikia.com/wiki/Table_Topics) responses. I really, really wish we had a Toastmasters chapter in my town. Or at least closer than an hour’s drive away. ---
**Author:** ![snowmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@snowmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowmaster)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2010, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/42 "2010-05-21T15:49:58Z")
This is a big problem in retail, and I’d assume many different flavors of technical support. I fully understand that many people don’t have the technical acumen or technical knowledge to describe everything properly, and there will always be some Q and A involved in explaining complicated topics, but those who lack the wherewithall to articulate in the most basic terms what are you trying to do? what have you tried already? what specific problem are you having? totally blow my mind. Cust: My phone doesn’t work Me: I’m sorry to hear that, what’s the problem? Cust: It doens’t work Me: :rolleyes: Ok, in what way? Cust: Well I can’t call anybody. Me: Ok, does it appear to be on and have power? Cust: I don’t know. Me: Are there lights on, a dialtone? Cust: Oh, I don’t know. I’m at work. Me: Oh, so what problem were you experiencing? Cust: It just doesn’t work. Me: :smack: On, what specifically doesn’t work on it? Cust: It doesn’t make phone calls. Me: I see. What did you try to make it work? Cust: I shouldn’t have to do any of that, you sold it to me! Inevitably, when someone can’t explain something to you, explaining something to them gets a deer-in-headlights response. No request for clarification, just a what? You don’t make sense. Me: Ok, we’ll try to troubleshoot this for you. Can you make sure the battery is charged and installed then press and hold the red power button? Cust: What? How do I do that? Me: Have you been charging the phone? Cust: When I got it they said it was charged already. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2010, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/43 "2010-05-21T16:16:18Z")
Funnily enough, my phone _isn’t_ working. It just stopped working last night. And yes, I had charged it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2010, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/44 "2010-05-21T16:32:46Z")
[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:41, topic:540158”] My dad’s description of such people: “Ask him the time and he’ll tell you how to build a clock.” [/QUOTE] Perfect! ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2010, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/45 "2010-05-21T16:49:00Z")
My problem is when I start to explain or tell a story my brain works faster than my mouth and starts to skip ahead or think about other things and then I end up … er … what were we talking about again? ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2010, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/46 "2010-05-21T17:22:10Z")
Geographical coordinates. Grrr… I loath people who pepper their stories with, where everything mentioned, is located. “So we were headed to the beach, we’d just passed RJ’s, y’know by Boulder Side Rd, there, it’s got a big red sign, y’know, passed Sarnia Rd on the right, you know the one, I’m sure.” Shut the hell up and just tell me the damn story already. The same goes with telling me where people live or work. “So I’m out to lunch with Dave, he works at CIBC, when all of a sudden…”, or, “…me and Dave and Gary, Gary lives over by Whiteoaks Mall, were headed out of the city when…” Grrrr. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2010, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/47 "2010-05-21T17:30:06Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > I loath people who pepper their stories with, where everything mentioned, is located. Years ago there was a story on the news. An 11-year-old girl went missing for a few days. As it turned out, she got lost in the woods. She was crying while she explained what happened to a reporter. “And _sniff_ I was _sniff_ um _sniff_ scared _sniff_ and _sniff_ hungry _sniff_ and I _sniff_ walked by _sniff_ a neighbor’s _sniff_ house _sniff_ theyhaveadognamedRexandhe’sreallynice _sniff_ and I _sniff_ found _sniff_ my _sniff_ way _sniff_ home.” ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2010, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/48 "2010-05-21T17:46:10Z")
Yeah, the main problem I have with people explaining or communicating anything to me is definitely the getting to the point thing. If I can just get someone to get to the point, I’m happy. Get to the point, and I will find out whatever details I don’t understand on my own. I will research, investigate, sleuth and gumshoe ever detail I need, if you would just quickly get to the point of your communication. If you need a restore cd, just say, “I would like to order a restore cd”. Not; "So I bought my pc on Christmas, which I know because it snowed on Christmas and it never snows here, and when I set it up, it asked me to make a cd, and I didn’t, because who ever really pays attention to error messages, and then David Bowie released a new album that I like very much, even though he married that model and I thought he was gay, and when I went to download that album on limewire, or maybe it was kaaza, I got a bunch of pop ups, and then a virus, I think, it said antivirus 2010, and I thought it was an antivirus but surprise! It was a virus and I downloaded it right into my stystem. My serial number is 2001119412. So I took it out to Best Buy the black guy, no offense, told me I am going to need a restore cd. Can you order that for me? ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2010, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/49 "2010-05-21T18:20:05Z")
I’ve worked as a tech writer and trainer for a good part of my working career, and didn’t realize what a skill I have until I paid attention to other people trying to explain things. To me it comes natural to extract the important points of a topic and relay those points in a clear, concise manner. Many people I’ve worked with thought that training was a cake job, until they came along with me and tried to “help.” People either leave out way too much, or speak as though they’re getting paid by the word. Along with that, they don’t listen to what’s being asked. When someone is explaining something and starts rambling, I like to interrupt with “Does this have _anything_ to do with me?” ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2010, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/50 "2010-05-21T19:52:25Z")
[QUOTE=njtt] A lot of the skill in being a good explainer lies in being able to assess what the explainee needs. [/QUOTE] This. [QUOTE=lost4life] I’ve worked as a tech writer and trainer for a good part of my working career, and didn’t realize what a skill I have until I paid attention to other people trying to explain things. [/QUOTE] And this. It’s definitely a communication skill. I’m often the one in meetings who is able to interrupt a confusing, excruciating back-and-forth and explain what Person A has been trying to say in a way that Person B can understand. Most of the time I’m even tactful. The meetings where I have to just sit and listen to protracted miscommunications are the most painful. Sometimes I think my job title should be “Communication Style Translator.” ---
**Author:** ![prettydorky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f04885/32.png) [@prettydorky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/prettydorky)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2010, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/51 "2010-05-22T14:42:25Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > The one I seem to run into too often is the person who mumbles some crucial part of the statement, then will repeat or elaborate any bit, except the part I missed because they mumbled it - sort of: > > A: \ is coming on Tuesday > B: Who? > A: Tuesday, to have a look at the window > B: Who did you say is coming? > A: He’s coming to fix the window > B: But I didn’t hear what you said when… > A: TUESDAY! > B: WHO is coming on Tuesday > A: He’s going to see if he can fix the WINDOW! > B: Who? > A: The upstairs one that keeps getting stuck open > B: :mad: > A: You know the window I’m talking about - what’s the matter with you? > B: You still haven’t told me… > A: TUESDAY! Fucking hell. > B: But… > A: Fine! I’ll cancel it, if you’re going to be like that. Oh man. I laughed so hard reading this that I cried. ---
**Author:** ![Doody\_Pants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@Doody\_Pants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doody_Pants)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2010, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/52 "2010-05-22T15:31:16Z")
The person I sit next to at work is my exact opposite. I get to the point, she rambles on and on. I dread asking her a question because she will ask me 57 questions before giving me an answer. It drives me crazy because she is the only person in my life who seems not to understand me when I talk. I can say “Who has to sign this obscure less than once-a-year report? Bob or Tom?” and she will answer me with “What kind of report? What is it for? Did you know you are supposed to file it in the green cabinet and not the black one? Who told you to write it? Did you use the right form? Did you look at the account?..etc” She also drives me crazy when she leaves messages for customers. Here is my basic message: “Hi this message is for Joe Schmo, my name is DP and I am calling from XYZ Co. Please give me a call back at 555-556-6789, extension 1234. I can take calls from 8 am to 4 pm, once again, my name is DP from XYZ and the number is 555-556-6789, extension 1234. Thank you” Here is her message: Good morning, my name is Mouthy McTalkalot from Xylophone Yellow Zebra Company and this message is for Clair Customer regarding the TPS reports you ordered on May 15 2010. The time is approximately 3:42 in the afternoon of Friday, May 21 2010. Please give me a call back at your earliest convenience at 555-556-6789, extension 1225. When you get to the main menu, press option 2 to and enter my extension 1225. Once again, this message is for Clair Customer regarding the TPS requested on Friday May 21, 2010 from XYZ Co, my name is Mouthy McTalkalot. Please contact me at 555-556-6789, when you get to the main menu please press 2 and then my extension. I am in the office from 8 am to 4 pm, but if I am unavailable when you call please leave me a message and I will get back to you as soon as I can. I am usually at lunch from noon to 1" My other co-worker and I laugh and laugh when the customer’s machine cuts her off and then she calls back and leaves a second message just as long as the first! ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2010, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/53 "2010-05-22T16:11:19Z")
And I’ll bet that Mouthy McTalkalot’s second message starts off by repeating all the information that she left in the first message. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2010, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/54 "2010-05-22T16:34:46Z")
Then there’s the reading comprehension issue. I can’t tell how many times I’ve had conversations by email of the following form: “Is [option 1] the case, or is [option 2, mutually contradictory with option 1] the case?” “Yes, I think it is.” Or I’ll write an email, with three simple questions in it, marked with bullet points for the receiver’s convenience, and they’ll answer with four or five rambling sentences that use English words but not in any order with which I’m familiar, and certainly don’t answer any of the questions. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2010, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/55 "2010-05-22T17:26:57Z")
Early today: Hey - what time’s your flight? I’ll see you off at the airport. Oh, I’m not sure, I’m waiting for Kim to give me an update. Kim’s a holiday rep, so she’ll get the latest info. Well, is it at 2, 4, 6, 8? There’s no way of telling, I’ve got to wait for Kim. I spoke to my sister who arranged the ticket and she says it’s showing no delay, but we can’t be sure. Isn’t it around 4pm? Well, the ticket I get, well, I don’t get a ticket, they just give you a code and there’s no flight information on it at all. I suppose people who book regular tickets would have that, but you see all I get is a code. They’re doing it for all the buses in England now too, like you can book on line and they text you the code so you can jump on the bus from Gatwick or whereever - lets say you’re at Heathrow and you need to get to Gatwick, what you can do is … _drones on while I boot up my computer and check the departure schedule_ Hey I just checked it online - it’s 4:40 - scheduled on time. Well, I _ **know** _ that, but we can’t be sure really. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2010, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/56 "2010-05-22T17:38:42Z")
I think I’ve gotten better at communicating since I’ve been participating on the Dope - succinct, concise writing goes a long way here, and I think it has helped me form succinct, concise thoughts, too. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2010, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/57 "2010-05-22T22:02:24Z")
There are too reasons. First people don’t realize not everyone is as smart as them Second, people use terms that relate to the situation. I used to be a systems admin for a hotel. A large part of my job was spend translating computerese between the MIS direction and the management. He refused to understand, people don’t know computers like him. Second is terms. I’ve been working at a factory. They are constantly using terminology that is specific to that factory. I don’t know what a tall cap is? But I do know that I’m smarter than everyone at that factory, put together 😃 Still I don’t know your terms. I recall when I had a bunch of African American friends, one of the ladies had a boyfriend and he was talking to me, and she looked at me and her boyfriend and said to him. “Now why are you talking to him like that, you know he ain’t gonna know what that means.” I’m white, and I didn’t know a lot of the terms used by the boyfriend. I think it was more a case of young versus old rather than black versus white though 🙂 Another thing is people like to get too technical. For instance, “Nothing can go faster than the speed of light.” As a general rule this is correct. But it’s not absolutely correct. The phrase is “Nothing can go faster than the speed of light in a vacuum.” If you run light through various substances it can go slower than normal. That’s a case of a general statement bersus a absolute one. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/58 "2010-05-23T01:55:03Z")
Throughout my life, many of the arguments with my mother have followed this format: a. Mom explains something b-d. " " with very slight variation e. I get annoyed, say I get it f. Mom says something like “I know but” and begins to explain again g. I start to walk away while she’s still explaining, which makes her mad for being “ignored” h. I accuse her of thinking I’m stupid since she feels the need to explain something for a 5th time i. … The maddening part if that you can’t cut off any of the explanations by parroting them back. Nope, she’s got to say it all 4-6 times before she’s happy… grrr. ---
**Author:** ![Mom-of-Andrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@Mom-of-Andrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mom-of-Andrew)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/59 "2010-05-23T01:56:09Z")
[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:41, topic:540158”] My dad’s description of such people: “Ask him the time and he’ll tell you how to build a clock.” [/QUOTE] I’ve used that phrase to describe myself before. I did join Toastmasters and I’ve gotten a bit better now. Teachers were mentioned upthread as good communicators. Most are. The ones that aren’t can give you great stories. For example: My high school chemisty teacher was the basketball coach. His entire explanation of a covalent bond (where atoms share electrons) went thusly: Well, you’ve got this electron here, see? (holds up right pinky finger) And it’s kinda close to this atom, but it’s kinda close to this atom, too (holds up left pinky figer). And people wondered why I didn’t feel adequately prepared for college. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/60 "2010-05-24T00:37:02Z")
You mean like this? > [@](#): > > “I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our children” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158.md?page=4)