# Why can't some people learn to explain things better? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 20, 2010, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158 "2010-05-20T18:09:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/61 "2010-05-24T00:57:09Z")
My dad is definitely an over-explainer. I’ll ask him a question, and off he’ll go. About twenty minutes later I’ll be sitting there thinking “Dad, you answered my question to my satisfaction FIFTEEN MINUTES AGO. STOP TALKING ALREADY.” Just recently he told us that he wants to become a high school math tutor after he retires. I cringed a little, but said nothing. God help those high school students. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/62 "2010-05-24T08:28:44Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Years ago I was walking through a busy part of the city with a friend. There was a lot of traffic going by, a lot of loud people, and a strong wind. It was a noisy environment. > > My friend … turned her face away, pointed off in some direction, and finished her question. When my mother does that, I tell her “sorry, but you’ll have to file a complaint with the factory I came from: I can’t hear your nape speaking.” Many people, as **njtt** said, are bad at reading their audience. Others are so busy trying to look good that they roam and stray and tell you about anything but the point at hand. Right now I’m in a new job. The guy I replace left with his pants on fire and had done his best to completely ignore the customer’s needs; the one doing the “information handover” doesn’t give a shit about the information he’s got to give to me and is unable to say “I don’t know”, much less “it isn’t my field, so I wasn’t really paying attention to those parts”, so he keeps telling me about the cars people had in each factory they visited, the clothes people wore, how dirty the factories were (he’d never seen a factory before, I’d like to take him to a coal mine just for kicks)… anything except what I need. But the thing is, I don’t believe he has what I need! ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/63 "2010-05-24T08:40:46Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Throughout my life, many of the arguments with my mother have followed this format: > > a. Mom explains something > b-d. " " with very slight variation > e. I get annoyed, say I get it > f. Mom says something like “I know but” and begins to explain again > g. I start to walk away while she’s still explaining, which makes her mad for being “ignored” > h. I accuse her of thinking I’m stupid since she feels the need to explain something for a 5th time > i. … > > The maddening part if that you can’t cut off any of the explanations by parroting them back. Nope, she’s got to say it all 4-6 times before she’s happy… grrr. Me: Mom, it’s the third time you’re explaining that in half an hour. I realize we’re on computer-to-computer skype, but are you sure there isn’t something else you’d rather tell me about? Something I haven’t heard twice before just now? Mom: I’m not telling you because I want you to know about it, I’m telling you because I need to tell someone Me: Oh, OK, say my name when you’re done, then. We’ve established it as an SOP. When she tells me about something that’s not life-threatening, I go into “ahum and ahem mode” (I can ahum and ahem at the right spots without really listening to a word being said) until she says my name to signal a change of subject. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2010, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158/64 "2010-05-26T00:59:34Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Years ago I was walking through a busy part of the city with a friend. There was a lot of traffic going by, a lot of loud people, and a strong wind. It was a noisy environment. > > My friend turned to me and said something like “You know what I’ve always wondered? If it’s Friday and there’s snow and the moon is full, then…” She turned her face away, pointed off in some direction, and finished her question. > > “What?” > > “I said, I’ve always wondered, if it’s Friday and there’s snow and the moon is full, then…” She turned her face away, pointed off in some direction, and finished her question. > > “Say it one more time.” > > She got mad. “I said, I’ve always wondered, if it’s Friday and there’s snow and the moon is full, then…” She turned her face away, pointed off in some direction, and finished her question. > > “I couldn’t hear the end. Once more?” > > “You never listen to me! Friday! You know, Friday?!?” > > “Yeah, I got it. Friday.” > > “And snow? You know, snow?” > > “Yeah, I heard you. Snow. Moon is full. On Friday. Got it. What happens on Friday when there is snow and the moon is full?” > > “Well, I’m glad you finally listened.” She turned her face away, pointed off in some direction, and finished her question. > > If there had been a desk, I would have headdesked. Think how much easier this conversation would have been if you had simply said: “I couldn’t hear the end because you turned your head away.” 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-some-people-learn-to-explain-things-better/540158.md?page=3)