# Why can't U.S. news be like this? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 31, 2013, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-u-s-news-be-like-this/659781 "2013-05-31T12:21:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-u-s-news-be-like-this/659781/1 "2013-05-31T12:21:31Z")
Ursula McCarthy reports an assault in Ireland. Video: [Irish court report](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNmNtFBs1ak) ‘What are ye bleedin’ looking at?’ ‘It frightened the shite out of me altogether, Lord Jesus.’ ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-u-s-news-be-like-this/659781/2 "2013-05-31T15:49:12Z")
Ursala is an alpha newsbabe!! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-u-s-news-be-like-this/659781/3 "2013-05-31T17:49:38Z")
Sexy accent. Dammit, why can’t we have sexy accents? ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-u-s-news-be-like-this/659781/4 "2013-06-01T02:18:49Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Ursula McCarthy reports an assault in Ireland. Video: > > [Irish court report](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNmNtFBs1ak) > > ‘What are ye bleedin’ looking at?’ > > ‘It frightened the shite out of me altogether, Lord Jesus.’ So you haven’t seen “The Bed Intruder” or “Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That?” ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-u-s-news-be-like-this/659781/5 "2013-06-01T14:31:48Z")
Points to her for not cracking up during any of that; you know she wanted to! ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-u-s-news-be-like-this/659781/6 "2013-06-02T16:10:16Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Sexy accent. > > Dammit, why can’t we have sexy accents? That’s where I was going to go with it. 🙂 I could probably listen to what Sarah Palin has to say on any topic if she’d just say it with an Irish accent. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-u-s-news-be-like-this/659781/7 "2013-06-03T15:39:18Z")
In case anyone didn’t realise it’s a spoof, not a real news report. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-u-s-news-be-like-this/659781/8 "2013-06-03T17:14:49Z")
Nuts. You’re just saying that to keep me from moving there. ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-u-s-news-be-like-this/659781/9 "2013-06-03T17:32:22Z")
Ha ha, a certain Scottish accent wasn’t why I watched SGU, but it sure _ **the hell** _ is why I watch “Once Upon A Time.”