# Why can't we all just get along? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [April 7, 2004, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-we-all-just-get-along/238844 "2004-04-07T23:32:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-we-all-just-get-along/238844/21 "2004-04-08T03:55:07Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > People tend to talk about how horrible we are to each other because that’s sort of the cool, cynical Internet personality thing to say. All in all, however, humans get along reasonably well. I don’t know if it’s cool to talk about violence in society, but I must say it has turned me into a bit of a cynic. I can’t watch the news anymore. I worry about my SO who works in an environment highly conducive to a disgruntled worker going on shooting spree. Some of comments I’ve heard out of that shop make me wonder who’s going to go first! I worry I may get caught in a situation where someone wants to rob from my employer while I’m on duty. I worry about violence in schools because I’m a mother. Admittedly, I have gone through every day of my life to date having experienced no violence (except having my house robbed) personally. Perhaps all this says is that the media have done what they set out to do…wait, that wasn’t entertaining at all. They just scared the crap outta me! Maybe you’re right. World population is booming, but at what cost? The higher the population density, the more strife results. This goes back to my question, where is this going? The world has never been as populated as it is now, technology makes it easier to attack and destroy, and exposure to violence tends to desensitize. (I’m not really committed, though, to that last comment based on my own experience, but it is a common perception.) Intolerant parents raise intolerant children for the most part, don’t they? > [@](#): > > You may not like your ex, but you didn’t bite off his head like a black widow. More than likely I’d have gagged on it anyway. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-we-all-just-get-along/238844/22 "2004-04-08T04:01:05Z")
> [@Cinnamon Girl](#): > > Sounds interesting. Care to elaborate on it for those of us who haven’t read it? Does the book come up with any conclusions other than what seems obvious (we are products of evolution?)? How did this make you feel about the human condition: hopeful or resigned? The Amazon site gives better summaries than I could. As for conclusions, it’s simply remarkable how many \*\*complex \*\* human social behaviors we share with chimps. Given that we last shared a common ancestor with that species about 6M yrs ago, those behaviors must be deeply imbedded in us indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-we-all-just-get-along/238844/23 "2004-04-08T04:02:06Z")
Incidently, I was hoping to avoid the topic of insanity all together, because that’s an anomaly within society. Whereas, not getting along for whatever reason and to whatever degree is more common to people who are considered sane, but still do amazingly cruel things (the road rager who through someone’s dog into traffic comes to mind). Committing murder doesn’t necessarily mean you’re insane. Nor does attacking another country because you don’t agree with their politics. Or does it? Megalomania, anyone? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-we-all-just-get-along/238844/24 "2004-04-08T04:03:08Z")
through=threw Doh dee doh! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-we-all-just-get-along/238844/25 "2004-04-08T04:04:12Z")
> [@John Mace](#): > > Given that we last shared a common ancestor with that species about 6M yrs ago, those behaviors must be deeply imbedded in us indeed. Good point. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-we-all-just-get-along/238844/26 "2004-04-08T04:05:50Z")
> [@Cinnamon Girl](#): > > I don’t know if it’s cool to talk about violence in society, but I must say it has turned me into a bit of a cynic. I can’t watch the news anymore. I have to agree with **RickJay**. We are certainly one of the most successful large mammals alive today. As for our violent proclivities, I’m reminded of one anthropologist who said (and I’m paraphrasing): “If you think humans are violent, consider that if baboons had access to nuclear weapons, the world would be blown to bits in 15 minutes.” ---
**Author:** ![Blown\_Injected](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@Blown\_Injected](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blown_Injected)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-we-all-just-get-along/238844/27 "2004-04-08T04:22:01Z")
Just skimmed the thread. Did anybody mention hate? Pure and simple hate; no discussion, no compromise, no desire get along. ---
**Author:** ![Thingol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Thingol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thingol)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-we-all-just-get-along/238844/28 "2004-04-08T04:23:48Z")
The reason we can’t all get along comes down to this. If you try to get along with **me** , I’m gonna f\*\*k you three ways to Sunday. Now, you don’t know me from Adam. By the way, can I borrow a dollar? My girlfriend’s in labor and I need to make a phonecall. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-we-all-just-get-along/238844/29 "2004-04-08T04:45:58Z")
> [@Zagadka](#): > > We are farily successful, yes, though I think this largely has to do with the limited number of humans you can cram into a given area. Once urbanization kicked in, we had some major social upheavels that still haven’t stopped. Hell, the difference between the social atmospheres in a tenement, apartment, and residential neighborhood are fairly striking. Urbanization started 5,000 years ago and we’ve gone nowhere but up since then. Marc ---
**Author:** ![vasyachkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c5a1d2/32.png) [@vasyachkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vasyachkin)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-we-all-just-get-along/238844/30 "2004-04-08T05:53:00Z")
there will always be ONE who will exploit the good nature of others, he will set an example and there will be followers. finally they will make things unbearable for the good-natured folks and there will be turmoil as always. as long as we as humans desire anything for ourselves, we will always run into conflicts when somebody else wants the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-we-all-just-get-along/238844/31 "2004-04-08T13:11:51Z")
> [@Cinnamon Girl](#): > > I don’t know if it’s cool to talk about violence in society, but I must say it has turned me into a bit of a cynic. I can’t watch the news anymore. I worry about my SO who works in an environment highly conducive to a disgruntled worker going on shooting spree. Some of comments I’ve heard out of that shop make me wonder who’s going to go first! I worry I may get caught in a situation where someone wants to rob from my employer while I’m on duty. I worry about violence in schools because I’m a mother. (Shrug) I don’t know what to tell you. You live in a very fearful, suspicious culture, where the media thrives on terrifying people, on top of which you’re biologically programmed to BE nervous about your kids and your loved ones. That’s what motivates you to protect them. But the fact remains that crime rates are down. And while you may be afraid of school violence, imagine having your kids 200 years ago and being afraid of smallpox, mumps, polio and routine infections. I’m not saying there isn’t crime and horror and war, because there is, but the general question of “why don’t people get along” is a loaded, when-did-you-stop-beating-your-wife question. Humans are successful as social animals; our population keeps rising, the quality of life generally rises in the long term, and we’re no more nastier to each other than we’ve ever been. John Mace’s point about baboon nukes is a good one. ALL animals show some degree of intraspecies aggression. It’s just a normal part of survival. You don’t tend to notice the skill people have at avoiding conflict, because for the most part it’s unconscious; you do a thousand little things a day to get along peaceably with people. > [@](#): > > Maybe you’re right. World population is booming, but at what cost? The higher the population density, the more strife results. I see no evidence strife is on the rise. Sixty years ago, with a world population 33% lower than it is today, we started World War II. Four hundred years ago, with a world population maybe one tenth what it is today and almost no urbanization, they were just about to get the Thirty Years War underway. There’s a school of thought that increasing population is GOOD for everyone, generally speaking. This came up in another thread… “The world’s going to hell in a handbasket” fears have been around since the days of Moses and probably before, and they’re always wrong. You hear kids today are getting pregnant more and committing more crimes and their attention spans are shorter? It’s not true. World’s more violent? Not true. Humanity doomed? Not true. People are more stupid than they used to be? Not true. Education system is turning out more idiots? Not true. Kids are basically the same as they’ve always been, people are not any dumber than they ever were, and they’re not any more violent than they ever were. I’m not presenting a Pollyanna view here; there are problems, and _specific_ populations or countries can get worse (or better) in a short time frame. But generally speaking things aren’t that bad. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-we-all-just-get-along/238844/32 "2004-04-08T16:33:02Z")
> [@Jojo](#): > > Touche 🙂 > > Although, I wouldn’t mind being part of a revolution (if I supported the cause). I remember watching the Romanian revolution a few years ago on live TV. When they kicked out all the communist goons and finally launched an assault on the Parliament building on Christmas day and the TV cameras were right there with them all the way in. > > That was a pretty cool revolution. Yeah. But you seem to forget that not every revolution you’re going to take part in will end up with you entering triumphally the parliament building escorted by TV cameras on christmas day. Other possible (and way more common) outcomes are : -You end up in front of a firing squad -A newly self-proclaimed minister make a moving speech about your heroism in front of your (and one hundred other’s) coffin. -The revolution fails and you end your days rotting in a jail/detention camp/whatever -The revolution suceeds and you still end up rotting in a a jail/detention camp/whatever -The revolution suceeds and a new tyran replace the former one. People think you either were a fool or plain evil to have supported him. -The revolution suceeds and you’re arrested because you actually were opposed to it. And of course, the more likely outcome : -You hide in your basement, praying that the whole mess will be over soon, whatever the outcome, and that nothing bad will happen to you. Depending on the outcome, you then can watch on TV people entering triumphally the parliament building or sent to the firing squad. You feel very relieved since soon live will be as usual again. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-we-all-just-get-along/238844/33 "2004-04-08T19:02:43Z")
I’ll answer your question in one word: Power. We instinctually want to control our environment. Sometimes that involves hurting other people. ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-we-all-just-get-along/238844/34 "2004-04-08T19:53:14Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > I’ll answer your question in one word: > > Power. > > We instinctually want to control our environment. Sometimes that involves hurting other people. I was making the same point in [this thread, post 17](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=249756). Power greed can be a powerful motivator for good and for evil. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-we-all-just-get-along/238844.md?page=1)