# Why can't you control your damn tumors? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 16, 2004, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126 "2004-12-16T12:25:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/41 "2004-12-17T00:06:48Z")
You morons who are suggesting that Lib is going or about to go off the deep end are Fucking pathetic. I hear this time after time, thread after thread. The guy had some problems in the past, leave it the fuck alone. Let’s practice what we preach shall we? Krist, you suggest that Lib display more compassion then with the same breath ponder aloud his “going off the deep end”. How Ironic. Deal with this topic in this thread and leave the past alone, hmm? And it aint just this thread, if I wasn’t clear. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/42 "2004-12-17T00:23:11Z")
> [@Oy](#): > > I’m having trouble seeing how this makes someone the Devil incarnate, or even a bad friend. I’ve seen pittings of grilled cheese sandwiches, and pittings of the number 2. I’ve seen pittings of people who use push button doors, and pittings of having to eat food upstairs. Go to those threads and threads like them, wail about their indignity, then come back here and I’ll give your rather bizarre lecture to me the attention you believe it deserves. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/43 "2004-12-17T00:27:34Z")
> [@Uncommon Sense](#): > > You morons who are suggesting that Lib is going or about to go off the deep end are Fucking pathetic. If I’m analyzing the situation correctly, I believe that it’s something along the lines of a George Bush “if I repeat it enough times I’ll make it come true” pathos. These days, I come to the Pit, vent, and then I blow it off. It’s no longer cathartic, merely therapeutic. Serving a stint as a mod at a board full of spoiled brat philosophy students gave me a whole new perspective. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/44 "2004-12-17T00:32:59Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Oh my god, my first pitting. I’m so proud. **wipes away a few tears** > > It was a joke, people. I was mocking my own obsession with reality TV. I’m sorry some of you don’t get it. It turns out I won’t be seeing my friend (who I talked to four times yesterday and twice so far today) tonight because he’ll be at his ex-wife’s house, not the hospital. It was his decision to not have me go by there. His last words to me last night were, “You’re a good friend.” > > His opinion matters to me far more than yours, **Liberal**. Because he knows me and you don’t. Ah well then, sorry about the mildly harsh words. It’s good of you to spend time with a sick friend. Still, this being a pitting of you…um…give me a sec here…got it Fuck you and your poor choice in television. I don’t even see how it can be called reality television. Look at Trumps hair. It should never be associated with the word reality. I know; it’s harsh. But one should never let an apology ruin a good pit thread 😃 Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/45 "2004-12-17T00:34:22Z")
> [@El Cid Viscoso](#): > > To me, one day twickster might have a ring-side seat for the gurgling sound and he or she may be faced with a look back on the emptiness displayed here. That will be punishment enough. Did you read the poem, or is this coincidence? Enquiring minds must know. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/46 "2004-12-17T00:36:12Z")
> [@Harborwolf](#): > > Look at Trumps hair. It should never be associated with the word reality. Funnily enough, his hair is real. I saw Larry King pull on it. It’s as long as a combover, but there’s no bald spot. Weird. But real. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/47 "2004-12-17T00:37:47Z")
**Harborwolf** – thanks for the apology – and for the first genuine laugh I’ve had in this thread. You’re a mensch. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/48 "2004-12-17T00:49:39Z")
> [@Uncommon Sense](#): > > You morons who are suggesting that Lib is going or about to go off the deep end are Fucking pathetic. > I hear this time after time, thread after thread. The guy had some problems in the past, leave it the fuck alone. > Let’s practice what we preach shall we? > Krist, you suggest that Lib display more compassion then with the same breath ponder aloud his “going off the deep end”. How Ironic. > Deal with this topic in this thread and leave the past alone, hmm? > And it aint just this thread, if I wasn’t clear. Hear hear! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/49 "2004-12-17T00:55:33Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > I’ve seen pittings of grilled cheese sandwiches, and pittings of the number 2. I’ve seen pittings of people who use push button doors, and pittings of having to eat food upstairs. Go to those threads and threads like them, wail about their indignity, then come back here and I’ll give your rather bizarre lecture to me the attention you believe it deserves. This would make a great blues song. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/50 "2004-12-17T01:10:13Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Did you read the poem, or is this coincidence? Enquiring minds must know. 😉 Our similarities end at hazel eyes. 😉 Thanks for [your poem](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=5600291#post5600291). This is the second time (once off-board) I’ve made reference to it. At first, the name really bothered me. But then the attitudes in [**The Apprentice 12/16**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=5611976&postcount=1) reminded me of the last, painful days of my mother-in-law’s mother. I was tempted to post your poem in twickster’s thread, but God help me if the crowd there would have appreciated it! ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/51 "2004-12-17T03:15:45Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > **Harborwolf** – thanks for the apology – and for the first genuine laugh I’ve had in this thread. You’re a mensch. Oi now. We keep this up, the thread’ll get bumped from the pit to IMHO, and that would just be nutty. 😉 > [@Liberal](#): > > Funnily enough, his hair is real. I saw Larry King pull on it. It’s as long as a combover, but there’s no bald spot. Weird. But real. Come on now. Can’t we at least act like this is the pit? Where’s the swearing? Where are the insults? Won’t somebody please stop thinking about the children? You can’t use Larry King anyways. He’s clearly biased due to his own thinning hair. Oh yeah, FUCK!! All this geniality in the pit. Why, back in my day we really had to go into a pit to swear and insult each other. And there wasn’t even any barbecue. Just rocks. And we liked it!! ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/52 "2004-12-17T03:49:44Z")
> [@](#): > > Oh, and Lisa? As far as I’m concerned, unannounced, uninvited guests take what they get. Did they have the courtesy to check with their putative hosts first? I don’t remember if she called first, but I doubt it. She lives 45 minutes away and this was before cell phones. It doesn’t matter, though. If a friend or relative shows up on my doorstep unannounced, no matter what the circumstances of their visit, I’d respect them enough to turn off the t.v. I feel the same way about people who feel free to use their cell phone while dining out with someone else. Unless you’re a doctor on call or a parent whose minor kids are at home alone, there’s no freaking excuse for answering a phone call in the middle of a conversation with someone else. [Tony Soprano]Show some respect![/Tony Soprano] And I’m glad Twickster was joking. I only saw her OP because the link only displayed the one post, but I didn’t get the joke either. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/53 "2004-12-17T04:09:13Z")
Yeah, **Lisa** , rereading the OP, I realize it wasn’t as funny as I thought it was. I was directing it mostly at my fellow fanatics, who I thought would share my bemusement that my first thought when the subject of Thursday came up was “but that’s _The Apprentice_ finale.” I didn’t think through the fact that (duh) this is a public message board and that people outside our little clique would be reading my words and taking them at face value. Oh well, live and learn. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/54 "2004-12-17T10:04:28Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Yeah, **Lisa** , rereading the OP, I realize it wasn’t as funny as I thought it was. I was directing it mostly at my fellow fanatics, who I thought would share my bemusement that my first thought when the subject of Thursday came up was “but that’s _The Apprentice_ finale.” I didn’t think through the fact that (duh) this is a public message board and that people outside our little clique would be reading my words and taking them at face value. > > Oh well, live and learn. Now I see why your friends defended you. I’m sorry for the unfortunate misinterpretation, but learning is what this board is all about. I reckon we both learned something. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/55 "2004-12-17T16:05:20Z")
For those who are interested in how my friend is doing: Just got off the phone with him, and he sounds pretty damn chipper for someone who had major surgery three days ago. He turned off the phone last night to enjoy 16 hours of sleeping straight through after getting to his ex’s, so I told him about my pitting this morning. Once I explained the concept to him (“No kidding – there’s a regular procedure for calling someone an asshole? And anyone can poke their nose into anyone else’s business to call them an asshole? Wow. And this is at that message board you’re always saying is so great?”), he laughed his head off that I’d get pitted over this. So – laughter being the best medicine and all that – thanks, all, for contributing to my friend’s recovery. He said to tell y’all “hi – lay off twicks, she’s good people.” ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/56 "2004-12-17T17:06:41Z")
While I am delighted to hear of your friend’s recovery, I’m still wondering what you are supposed to have learned here, and what the rules of True Friendship ™, as defined by **Liberal** and the others who piled on here are supposed to be. So, let’s say I have a friend in the hospital. Am I required to: spend every minute of my free time visiting? or visit every single evening after work and at least once each day on weekends? What about my other friends and family? What’s a valid excuse for missing a visit? Apparently simply choosing not to go because I want to stay home that evening is not an option, and certainly a television show is not worthy. What if I have tickets to a play or sports event? A date? A meeting with an organization to which I belong? What if I have to work late? Can I still be considered a True Friend ™? I’m trying to understand these rules, the violation of which has gotten **Twickster** pitted, and this pitting was supported by quite a number of people, not just the OP. Because **Twickster** was apparently supposed to learn something from this, and I don’t understand what it was. Can someone help me? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/57 "2004-12-17T17:26:43Z")
> [@Oy!](#): > > While I am delighted to hear of your friend’s recovery, I’m still wondering what you are supposed to have learned here… Taking her at her word again, I presume it is what she said, namely “**that (duh) this is a public message board and that people outside our little clique would be reading my words and taking them at face value**.” (Emphasis added to assist comprehension.) > [@](#): > > …and what the rules of True Friendship ™, as defined by **Liberal** and the others who piled on here are supposed to be. Piled on? 😃 This time, I get the joke. Just in case you’re serious though, I submit that when it is a 17:7 ratio, the pile-on ought to be attributed to the 17. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/58 "2004-12-17T18:27:33Z")
Fair enough, **Liberal**. **Twickster** learned that what she wrote might be taken literally by people who didn’t know she was kidding. BTW, when I think of piling on, it doesn’t matter that others defended her. THe fact is that (apparently) at least seven people agreed with this pitting. What I’m still trying to understand is why any of you had a problem with what **Twickster** said even had she been serious (aside from the serious breach of good taste demonstrated by her liking of _The Apprentice_, which I can forgive in her only because I know she’s a hell of lot better educated and read than I am and therefore is allowed her foibles. 😃 ). Why did the eight of you find it so offensive that \*\*Twickster \*\* might: a) Prefer her visit to her friend not be scheduled for an evening when she had something else she wanted to do, deplorable as that thing might be? or b) Not visit her friend every single evening? or c) admit she has enough of a life that considerations other than her friend might enter into her decision as to when to visit that friend? or d) ? I’m still trying to understand what this was all about. She wasn’t permanently abandoning her friend for the sake of _The Apprentice_. In fact, she had reluctantly decided to forgo her show in favor of visiting, and that’s what she was moaning about. But even if she had said “No, I can’t visit you that night, although I can the night before or the night after or both,” why was that such a terrible thing? Seriously, I’m trying to understand this. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/59 "2004-12-17T19:48:32Z")
Not knowing your life’s journey, and not being privvy to your subjective reference frame (I am privvy only to my own), I don’t know whether my explanation will satisfy you, Oy. So I ask that if I leave you feeling blank and wondering what-the-hell, that you just accept that you’ve been answered — even though it doesn’t click for you. And remember that I’m speaking only for myself and not the 7 others. I saw my father die of his fourth heart attack when I was eleven years old. I saw my mother die of lung cancer. I saw my brother (my good brother) die of colon cancer. My grandson (just over a year old) died of brain cancer. (The anniversary of that death was yesterday.) My sister and my brother (my evil brother) both have had multiple heart attacks, and in my brother’s case, quadruple by-pass surgery. I tell you this much to contextual my reference frame for you — that is, I am intimately familiar with hospitals and loved ones in them. Remember also that I knew nothing of Twickster or her “clique”, as she put it. All I knew was what I saw, and what I saw was that a friend dying of cancer was, again in her words, “less than understanding” about her preference. Lot’s of images and experiences came flooding back to me, one of which was the blood that gushed, exorcist style, from my grandson’s stomach and out his mouth an hour or so before his death. I read her post several times in an attempt to find something that might indicate she’d made it all up. I understand that you would take the side of your friend, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with that. But we would all do well to understand that people have richly different life experiences, and a man who Pits your friend is not necessarily your enemy. In retrospect, I would ask her for clarification. But that moment has passed. Meanwhile, I hope I’ve clarified the matter for you. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/60 "2004-12-17T20:04:16Z")
I never said he was dying of cancer – he isn’t. He’s having surgery for cancer. Big difference. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126.md?page=4)