# Why can't you control your damn tumors? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 16, 2004, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126 "2004-12-16T12:25:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![LtningBug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/73ab20/32.png) [@LtningBug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LtningBug)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/101 "2004-12-20T04:18:48Z")
Hey, my Dad was in the hospital just recently! They stole his darned prostate, too! I heartily take offence, **twickster** , from your callous treatment of your so-called friend. Why didn’t you just watch the Apprentice at the hospital with him? 😉 That’s what I did (well, actually it wasn’t the Apprentice, it was Lost, which is a far superior form of dreck). Anyway, just wanted to chime in to say that if you’re in the hospital recovering from a prostatectomy, your schedule is gonna be wide open: [ul] [li]8:00: Wake up. Scratch self. Holy Crap, that hurt, won’t scratch there again.[/li][li]8:01: Remember button for morphine juice. Press button.[/li][li]8:15: Nurse brings in breakfast. Third day in hospital, so it’s “solid.” Eat yummy scrambled eggs and oatmeal.[/li][li]8:30: Nurse comes by, says, “Get your rear out of bed, go for a walk. I want 4 laps, mister.”[/li][li]9:00: Done with 3 laps. Tell nurse I’ve done 6 laps. Sit down.[/li][li]9:22: Pick up magazine. Read.[/li][li]9:52: Hobble into bathroom, try to have a bowel movement. No luck.[/li][li]10:12: Pick up another magazine. Flip through it.[/li][li]10:15: Tired, but nurse has bed set to max height with no sheets. Continue to sit.[/li][li]10:20: Continue flipping through magazine. Press button for morphine juice.[/li][li]10:30: Nurse comes by, demands that shower be taken. Press morphine juice button in anticipation.[/li][li]10:35: Take shower.[/li][li]10:50: Shower over. Sit down, read magazine.[/li][li]10:58: Nurse comes in, empties catheter bag.[/li][/ul] There’s lots of time in there for a visit, let me tell ya. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/102 "2004-12-20T04:22:27Z")
> [@LtningBug](#): > > Hey, my Dad was in the hospital just recently! They stole his darned prostate, too! I heartily take offence, **twickster** , from your callous treatment of your so-called friend. Boy, are you late to this thread. Why not read the entire thing, from beginning to end, before you jump onto a pile-on that’s already quite over? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/103 "2004-12-20T08:55:13Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > You accused **twickster** of choosing Donald Trump over a dying friend, fabricating a good deal of the scenario, and have admitted that you were projecting your own biases on her. It was a parody of her OP, you stupid shit. Of _course_ a good deal of the scenario was fabricated. And _everybody_ projects their biases onto _everyone_ else, just like you’re doing in your dumbass posts to me. You people comprise the most clueless Marsha Brady clique I’ve ever seen. > [@](#): > > Do you care that you hurt her feelings for no good reason? About as much as you care that you hurt mine. > [@](#): > > If so, be compassionate. It’s the time of year for that sort of thing. Tell that to your 17 cohorts, you fucking hypocrite. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/104 "2004-12-20T13:24:55Z")
Let me see if I have this straight. **Liberal** opens this thread, pitting **Twickster** on the basis of projecting his own (admittedly dreadful) personal horrors onto her situation (to which they were totally inapplicable), refuses to apologize in any way that doesn’t make him look totally justified and shares the responsibility equally with **Twickster** , and now is reacting angrily because he’s not getting compassion in the thread? Interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/105 "2004-12-20T13:26:30Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > Boy, are you late to this thread. Why not read the entire thing, from beginning to end, before you jump onto a pile-on that’s already quite over? I’m pretty sure **LtningBug** had his tonge in his cheek, btw. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/106 "2004-12-20T14:56:51Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > It was a parody of her OP, you stupid shit. Of _course_ a good deal of the scenario was fabricated. And _everybody_ projects their biases onto _everyone_ else, just like you’re doing in your dumbass posts to me. You people comprise the most clueless Marsha Brady clique I’ve ever seen. You’re the stupid shit because you can’t recognize an ironic tone. You used your fabrication to justify Pitting **twickster** , bolstered by the feelings you have about your own experiences. Of course **twickster** would warrant a Pitting if she did what you claim she did, but considering that she didn’t, your Pitting is bullshit. Too bad you’re not adult enough to admit it. > [@](#): > > About as much as you care that you hurt mine. Did I hurt your feelings? How? By disagreeing with you? I commented that I knew **twickster** was joking, and you immediately came back with a snide comment. That’s my first post, and you were hostile. You’re the one swearing and calling names, and then you expect me to care about your hurt feelings? Also, I might add that that’s not how compassion works: you feel for another person’s pain, whether they feel for yours or not. I do feel for you with regard to your personal tragedy, and I’m sorry you suffered, but I don’t feel bad for hurting you via something I said in this thread. You’ve been the most hurtful poster on this thread by a lot. > [@](#): > > Tell that to your 17 cohorts, you fucking hypocrite. It started as a pile-on. Then others got wind of it and called you to task for your overreaction. So you know, Merry Christmas to you too, Liberal. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/107 "2004-12-20T21:36:50Z")
Looks like you’re getting butted from another direction, Rubystreak, so I’ll back off. May your holidays be bright and your life fulfilled. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/108 "2004-12-20T23:52:35Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Looks like you’re getting butted from another direction, Rubystreak, so I’ll back off. May your holidays be bright and your life fulfilled. Thank you, **Liberal** , and a sincere same to you and yours. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/109 "2004-12-21T01:34:48Z")
For those keeping track of my friend’s progress: He got his lab results today – clean as a whistle. Yay! Pls. feel to join me in a dance of joy. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/110 "2004-12-21T02:06:19Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > For those keeping track of my friend’s progress: He got his lab results today – clean as a whistle. Yay! Pls. feel to join me in a dance of joy. Mazel tov! Robin ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/111 "2004-12-21T15:40:24Z")
I’m glad everyone’s concern about my friend’s wellbeing was so heartfelt. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/112 "2004-12-21T16:09:14Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > For those keeping track of my friend’s progress: He got his lab results today – clean as a whistle. Yay! Pls. feel to join me in a dance of joy. Awesome! I’m so glad he’s doing alright! ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126/113 "2004-12-22T03:39:54Z")
I’m glad your friend is OK. In your e-mails, you made it sound like he was going to come through fine, so I’m happy to hear that you were correct. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-cant-you-control-your-damn-tumors/280126.md?page=5)