# Why did the chicken cross the road? TO STEAL A BICYCLE! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 13, 2010, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991 "2010-10-13T13:36:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991/1 "2010-10-13T13:36:00Z")
With the help of two gorillas. [I love this story](http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20019310-504083.html) ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991/2 "2010-10-13T19:37:24Z")
As usual the gorillas provided the muscle, the chicken just egged them on. I say, throw the bok at them! ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991/3 "2010-10-13T19:58:20Z")
They weren’t real chickens and gorillas. What a misleading story! I cry fowl on this one. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991/4 "2010-10-13T20:18:42Z")
When you think about it, aren’t we all wearing a chicken or a gorilla suit, stealing bicycles? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991/5 "2010-10-13T20:24:16Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > When you think about it, aren’t we all wearing a chicken or a gorilla suit, stealing bicycles? But you can’t hold a whole zoo responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the whole Zoological Park system? And if the whole Zoological Park system is guilty, then isn’t this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, **Annie** - isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen! ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991/6 "2010-10-13T20:26:31Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > They weren’t real chickens and gorillas. What a misleading story! I cry fowl on this one. Me too. I’m very apeset about the deception. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991/7 "2010-10-13T20:27:43Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > With the help of two gorillas. > > [I love this story](http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20019310-504083.html) The next time three goons punch you in the head and steal your property be sure and post to tell folks just how lovely the experience was. WTF is wrong with people? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991/8 "2010-10-13T20:34:53Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > > [@Zebra](#): > > > > When you think about it, aren’t we all wearing a chicken or a gorilla suit, stealing bicycles? > > But you can’t hold a whole zoo responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the whole Zoological Park system? And if the whole Zoological Park system is guilty, then isn’t this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, **Annie** - isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen! _Walks reverently out of the thread humming patriotically_ ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991/9 "2010-10-13T20:36:24Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > > [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > > > With the help of two gorillas. > > > > [I love this story](http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20019310-504083.html) > > The next time three goons punch you in the head and steal your property be sure and post to tell folks just how lovely the experience was. > > WTF is wrong with people? Maybe **Annie** ’s waiting to get hit on by the gorilla her dreams. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991/10 "2010-10-13T21:00:29Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > The next time three goons punch you in the head and steal your property be sure and post to tell folks just how lovely the experience was. > > WTF is wrong with people? Don’t go all apechick on us here. Simply put, surrealism trumps vicitimization. If I were mugged in this fashion I would definitely be laughing, if through the tears. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991/11 "2010-10-13T21:38:01Z")
> [@robardin](#): > > > [@Contrapuntal](#): > > > > The next time three goons punch you in the head and steal your property be sure and post to tell folks just how lovely the experience was. > > > > WTF is wrong with people? > > Don’t go all apechick on us here. > > Simply put, surrealism trumps vicitimization. If I were mugged in this fashion I would definitely be laughing, if through the tears. Don’t quit your day job. I find nothing funny or lovely or even surreal about the situation, and I call bullshit on you finding a blow to head that is integral to a strong arm robbery to be funny. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991/12 "2010-10-13T21:54:08Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > > [@robardin](#): > > > > Don’t go all apechick on us here. > > > > Simply put, surrealism trumps vicitimization. If I were mugged in this fashion I would definitely be laughing, if through the tears. > > Don’t quit your day job. > > I find nothing funny or lovely or even surreal about the situation, and I call bullshit on you finding a blow to head that is integral to a strong arm robbery to be funny. So don’t laugh, then, and move on. Some folks are better able to find humor in situations than others. It doesn’t mean they think horrible things are funny, it just means they can see the funny. Humor is very personal; just because you don’t get someone else’s doesn’t mean they’re faking it or somehow bullshitting you. We will all agree that violent crime is bad. Only some of us will agree that being mugged by a guy in an ape suit, let alone a CHICKEN suit, is hillarious. It’s pretty clear from the article the reporter is seeing the humor in the situation. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991/13 "2010-10-13T22:00:48Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > So don’t laugh, then, and move on. How about you move on? > [@](#): > > Some folks are better able to find humor in situations than others. It doesn’t mean they think horrible things are funny, it just means they can see the funny. Some folks have the worst sense of humor in the world. They think everything is funny. > [@](#): > > Humor is very personal; just because you don’t get someone else’s doesn’t mean they’re faking it or somehow bullshitting you. If humor is very personal, then your statement that some folks are better able to find humor is nonsense. If I don’t find something funny it must not be, right? Because it’s all personal and all? > [@](#): > > We will all agree that violent crime is bad. > Only some of us will agree that being mugged by a guy in an ape suit, let alone a CHICKEN suit, is hillarious. Folks lacking in empathy, perhaps. > [@](#): > > It’s pretty clear from the article the reporter is seeing the humor in the situation. Well then I respectfully retract my position. The reporter must not be questioned, what with him being the final authority. And shit. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991/14 "2010-10-13T22:04:31Z")
Lighten up, Francis. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991/15 "2010-10-13T22:11:44Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Lighten up, Francis. Move along with \*\*Inigo \*\*and have a beer on me. Talk about chicks or something. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991/16 "2010-10-13T22:15:57Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > > [@silenus](#): > > > > Lighten up, Francis. > > Move along with \*\*Inigo \*\*and have a beer on me. Talk about chicks or something. I’d love to have a beer with silenus, but I’d MUCH rather talk about chickens and gorillas mugging people, and you’re in here taking this massive shit. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991/17 "2010-10-13T22:18:05Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > > [@Contrapuntal](#): > > > > Move along with \*\*Inigo \*\*and have a beer on me. Talk about chicks or something. > > I’d love to have a beer with silenus, but I’d MUCH rather talk about chickens and gorillas mugging people, but you’re in here taking this massive shit. I made one comment, which I have since only posted to defend. If you don’t want to hear it, why don’t you just shut up about it? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991/18 "2010-10-13T22:19:36Z")
Can’t. - This is where I kiss you on the nose for heightened comedic effect \* ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991/19 "2010-10-13T22:46:20Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > > [@silenus](#): > > > > Lighten up, Francis. > > Move along with \*\*Inigo \*\*and have a beer on me. Talk about chicks or something. Hey, **Inigo**! Did you hear about [the chick](http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20019310-504083.html) that jacked this dude’s bike? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991/20 "2010-10-13T22:50:44Z")
Yes, I think I heard _something_ about that. (Is this where we pour beer on Contrapuntal?) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-to-steal-a-bicycle/556991.md?page=2)