# Why did the Doper cross the road? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 6, 2012, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150 "2012-12-06T02:53:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150/41 "2012-12-06T18:54:19Z")
[ul] [li]I’m an atheist. I don’t “cross” anything.[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150/42 "2012-12-06T18:58:37Z")
Because he was a treacherous bastard. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150/43 "2012-12-06T19:10:59Z")
Is it technically a road? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150/44 "2012-12-06T19:16:25Z")
It would be physically impossible for a Doper of that stature and age to cross the road. You see, I have this paper towel tube … ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150/45 "2012-12-06T19:17:23Z")
It’s Rhode and they are usually crossed already. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150/46 "2012-12-06T20:10:04Z")
> [@Ximenean](#): > > To get to the other cite. Dammit, I came here to post exactly this. Well played, **Ximenean** , well played. ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150/47 "2012-12-06T20:15:11Z")
1. Find a road. 2. Cross the road. 3. Hi Opal! 4. Profit! ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150/48 "2012-12-06T20:15:47Z")
Because the Doper had [agyrophilia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agyrophobia). ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150/49 "2012-12-06T20:34:01Z")
In Soviet Russia, road crosses YOU! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150/50 "2012-12-06T21:19:17Z")
A road crossing MMP ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150/51 "2012-12-06T22:17:59Z")
It’s legal, that’s all you need to worry about. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150/52 "2012-12-06T22:19:30Z")
Dopers are on all sides of the road. Though more on the left side than the right side. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150/53 "2012-12-06T22:23:21Z")
\ It is not really a road. In the case of\* Fudd v Bunny\* (1951) Justice Jones ruled that roads must have at least two lanes at least 8 feet wide with a shoulder at least four feet wide. The road in question has lanes 7 feet 11.5 inches wide, thus the contention that there was a road to cross is invalid. \ ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2012, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150/54 "2012-12-07T01:27:32Z")
There were ignorants on the other side, and our intrepid Doper was in a fighting mood. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2012, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150/55 "2012-12-07T02:01:10Z")
Everyone knows the other side is cooler. Like a pillow. -D/a ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2012, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150/56 "2012-12-07T03:27:05Z")
There was a store on the other side of the road with a sign that said ``` THIS WEEKS "SPECIAL" TURKEY'S ``` I happened to have some paint and a sharpie in the car. I could not help myself. It was night, and I didn’t think anyone would see me. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2012, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150/57 "2012-12-07T03:49:41Z")
I wouldn’t say ‘cross’, exactly; it was more ‘contradict’. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150/58 "2012-12-07T03:51:26Z")
> [@laina\_f](#): > > There was a store on the other side of the road with a sign that said > > ``` > THIS WEEKS "SPECIAL" > TURKEY'S > > ``` > > I happened to have some paint and a sharpie in the car. I could not help myself. It was night, and I didn’t think anyone would see me. Oooh. I like that. Subtle, until it hits you between the eyes. ---
**Author:** ![figure9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@figure9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/figure9)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2012, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150/59 "2012-12-08T18:41:05Z")
Slight hijack: What is the difference between a road and a street? ---
**Author:** ![damagedgoods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecd19e/32.png) [@damagedgoods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/damagedgoods)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2012, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150/60 "2012-12-09T12:18:56Z")
Because ghost’s chill his fragile,egg shelled mind. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-the-doper-cross-the-road/643150.md?page=4)