Heh, I get it but I wonder if Mr. Blue Sky intended it as a pun.
sorting machine = machine of some sort
Also, your last bad pun of the 12,000 post genre.
He was sitting at 12,999.
A Post Office worker at the main sorting office finds an unstamped, poorly hand-written envelope addressed to God. He opens it and discovers it is from an elderly lady, distressed because some thief robbed her of 100 dollars. She will be cold and hungry for the rest of the month if she doesn’t receive some divine intervention.
The worker organizes a collection amongst the other postal workers, who dig deep and come up with 96 dollars. They get it to her by special courier the same morning.
A week later, the same postal worker recognizes the same hand on another envelope. He opens it and reads: “Dear God, Thank you for the 100 dollars. This month would have been so bleak otherwise. P.S. It was four dollars short but that was probably those thieving bastards at the Post Office.”
Thanks. All week. Veal.
And gets arrested for opening someone else’s mail? 
Well, to make this thread truly Pit-worthy, I’ve got a USPS story.
In 1989 or 1990, I found a survey in the center of one of my DC comic books (I’m a collector). It seems this survey had been randomly inserted by DC Comics into various books (i.e. it wasn’t inside other copies of the same title and issue on my comic guy’s shelf). The folks at DC wanted me to fill out this survey and send it back to them. In exchange, I would receive a replacement for the comic I took the survey out of, in case removing it damaged the comic (it didn’t), a copy of the comic adaptation of the Batman movie (which I already had, so eh…) , and a genuine, official Batman movie poster - the same kind of poster the movie theaters display.
So I dutifully filled out the survey and mailed it off. Then I waited.
6-8 weeks later, my package arrived: a stiff cardboard tube containing the rolled up poster. But you see, it was too long to fit into my mailbox. So, rather than bring it to my front door, or perhaps simply leave it sticking out of the mailbox, the mail carrier bent the tube into the shape of the letter “Z” and used heavy rubber bands to secure it in that shape. Yup, a perfectly logical :rolleyes: way to make sure the package would fit entirely inside the mailbox. Not to mention completely mangling the contents and destroying any possible collectible value the contents may have achieved in the future.
I complained. I took the package and the contents to the Post Office and filed an official complaint. Filled out a form and everything. They apologized to me, and promised to have a word with my carrier. I don’t know if the carrier was spoken to, as there was no follow-up with me. I also wrote a letter to DC Comics and explained what had happened, though I didn’t expect much from that. But they were kind enough send me a new poster. Sure enough, the package was not bent into a Z-shape this time. It was an L-shape instead.
I gave up.
I remember that our old mail box used to be missing a flag, so once when I sent out a check for something, I stuck it in the mailbox door. The lazy ass mail woman (or man, I don’t remember) didn’t open the door, just pulled the envelope out, and it ripped in half. She left the torn pieces on the ground.
:rolleyes:
Damn you, Rysdad. That’s the story I was going to relate. 
For Father’s Day in 1997, I wrote my Dad a long letter and mailed it in a greeting card. All he received was the torn, empty envelope, stamped “Missing Contents”. Dad died shortly after that, so it was the last letter I wrote him. I still hold that against the Postal Service.
I have a mail slot for my mail, it is actuall bigger than the mail slots in people front doors, however my lovely mail carrier rather than putting the mail through the slot flat, will take any letters put them nside the grocery fliers, roll everything up and wedge the mail into the slot making it impossible to pull the mail the rest of the way through the box without tearing everything up and impossible to pull out the front without tearing everything up. It would all fit just fine if s/he didn’t wad it up. It also means I have to look through each peice of junk mail and shopping flier to see if I have any real mail. GRRR.
I have a good Post Office story, just to counteract all the bad ones. It’s a little sappy but here it is.
After our father died, I packed up a box of some of his stuff for my sister Brynda to have for keepsakes. In the box I included the letter she sent him six months or so before he died in which she reconnected with him after an estrangement of many years. The box I used to mail all this was a recycled box that once held some grocery store product. The cardboard flaps had a small gap which I didn’t think to cover over with tape. The package arrived safely. The letter, which had evidently escaped the box, arrived still in its original opened envelope, having gone first to my father’s old address and then to Brynda’s address (as a “return to sender.”) She cried when she got it in the mail. One never knows how precious a certain piece of mail might be to its recipient.
I love my local post office, actually. I have an unusual name, so if you get my town right and get anywhere near my last name the letter won’t even be late.
Are you looking to get cussed out, The Flying Dutchman? Because it can be arranged.
On second thought, I didn’t mean to be so harsh just now. It’s possible you were just kidding. If you were, please accept my apologies, The Flying Dutchman.
I got one of those the other day. The mangled envelope had once held about 10 or 11 ‘QSL’ cards. QSL cards are like postcards from one Ham radio operator to another to verify radio contacts. Besides being good for awards, the cards are sometimes a sentimental reminder of hard-fought contacts. I get QSL cards from all over the world and I value every one. Somedays I just cannot sit still at work and have to take off early just to get home and check the mailbox. Anyhow, imagine my shock and horror at finding this mangled remnant of an envelope that once held my treasured cards.
My bills arrive every month, right on time. My junk mail never fails to arrive in pristine condition. The few pieces of mail that I value above all others are the ones the USPS see fit to destroy.
Bastards!
Seriously, I was just kidding. I would have made another joke right now with reference to the lunar period, but I’m afraid to. Sorry.