# Why did "they" decide men can't wear shorts? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 23, 2017, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557 "2017-02-23T15:06:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![2Bits](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/e95f7d/32.png) [@2Bits](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2Bits)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557/1 "2017-02-23T15:06:32Z")
I mean real shorts, not knee length half-pants. Once upon a time men were allowed to wear (gasp!) thigh- baring shorts with regularity. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557/2 "2017-02-23T15:25:03Z")
Who is “they” and when did “they” decide this? What happens if I do? Will I get a demerit on my Man Card? Haven’t gotten one yet. Perhaps I should self-report to the “they” authorities? ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557/3 "2017-02-23T15:27:29Z")
Fashions change over time. Always have, always will. If you want to wear shorter shorts, go ahead. You can be both retro and avant-garde at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![2Bits](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/e95f7d/32.png) [@2Bits](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2Bits)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557/4 "2017-02-23T15:31:50Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > Who is “they” and when did “they” decide this? > > What happens if I do? Will I get a demerit on my Man Card? Haven’t gotten one yet. Perhaps I should self-report to the “they” authorities? I image “they” are the fashion industry but perhaps it was an act of congress that abolished them. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557/5 "2017-02-23T15:34:20Z")
You can have my 1970s-era shorts when you wrestle them off my cold, dead waist. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557/6 "2017-02-23T15:48:19Z")
> [@2Bits](#): > > I image “they” are the fashion industry but perhaps it was an act of congress that abolished them. Nah, it was an act of idiocy. It did give men, whose clothing styles usually only exhibit minor variations over time (e.g. skinny lapels/wide lapels) a taste of what women have gone through for ages. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557/7 "2017-02-23T16:09:01Z")
Maybe not 70s-era short shorts, but above-the-knee mens shorts are not uncommon. Even [superstar NBA players](http://deadspin.com/the-definitive-opinion-on-basketball-players-wearing-sh-1768532947) are rocking mid-thigh shorts these days. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557/8 "2017-02-23T16:23:06Z")
Longer shorts are better designed for everyday use. You can carry your wallet, keys, concealed handgun… Shorter shorts are not uncommon in the gym or running or biking. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557/9 "2017-02-23T16:24:01Z")
Why? We finally came to our senses. That’s why! ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557/10 "2017-02-23T16:28:55Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > Who is “they” and when did “they” decide this? > > What happens if I do? Will I get a demerit on my Man Card? Haven’t gotten one yet. Perhaps I should self-report to the “they” authorities? “They” will think if you dress like [this](https://janetandgeorge.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/magnum-pi.jpg) these days that you should be on a gay-pride float (because that’s the sort of thing those kind of people say). Not long ago, [this](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f6/e4/5d/f6e45d24c7d666337d59162138b2862c.jpg) was the standard NBA shorts. I think Tom himself wishes these photos would go away, considering what he says on the pre- and post-game shows about the old shorts. Short shorts on guys are so far out that if you were to wear them in public people might wonder if you’re [making a movie](http://i.onionstatic.com/avclub/5761/2/original/600.jpg), because why else would anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557/11 "2017-02-23T16:33:53Z")
Because nobody can pull it off like [Magnum PI](https://c1.staticflickr.com/8/7125/7631174480_7a2520f018.jpg), so why even try? Arghghgh, ninjad! ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557/12 "2017-02-23T16:44:40Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > Because nobody can pull it off like [Magnum PI](https://c1.staticflickr.com/8/7125/7631174480_7a2520f018.jpg), so why even try? > > Arghghgh, ninjad! Well, he IS the standard! Our HS gym shorts were those short short style with the V-cut on the outside leg. I’m glad I don’t have any pictures of me wearing them! ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557/13 "2017-02-23T16:59:10Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Longer shorts are better designed for everyday use. You can carry your wallet, keys, concealed handgun… Shorter shorts are not uncommon in the gym or running or biking. > [@John\_Mace](#): > > Why? We finally came to our senses. That’s why! Yep, I can carry my wallet, two sets of keys, my phone, a couple of knives, a bunch of guitar picks, several lighters, a pack of smokes, and my weed; and I still have like three completely empty pockets in a pair of cargo shorts. The breeze on the unmentionables is identical to the satin jogging shorts I wore in the 70’s that could only carry my house key, and not much else besides me. Modern shorts are the pants I have always dreamt of, just don’t put anything hard in the knee pockets. Now, I won’t hold it against women who decide that the purse nonsense is exactly that, nonsense; and get themselves a good pair of cargo shorts (hey, I like calves, too). I just hope they don’t come to their senses all at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557/14 "2017-02-23T17:13:13Z")
Speaking as an older-generation guy who has never given a damn about fashion, here’s my opinion on the linked photos: A bit too long unless they were cargo pants: [superstar NBA players](http://deadspin.com/the-definitive-opinion-on-basketball-players-wearing-sh-1768532947) About right in my opinion: [Not long ago, this was the standard NBA shorts.](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f6/e4/5d/f6e45d24c7d666337d59162138b2862c.jpg) Too short: [this](https://janetandgeorge.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/magnum-pi.jpg); [making a movie](http://i.onionstatic.com/avclub/5761/2/original/600.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557/15 "2017-02-23T17:14:48Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > Because nobody can pull it off like [Magnum PI](https://c1.staticflickr.com/8/7125/7631174480_7a2520f018.jpg), so why even try? > > Arghghgh, ninjad! [Shaun White can.](https://d6u22qyv3ngwz.cloudfront.net/ad/7wMc/stride-gum-short-shorts-guy-featuring-shaun-white-large-7.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557/16 "2017-02-23T17:20:15Z")
Ref **scabpicker** … Even cargo shorts have gotten long. Which is IMO stupid. I’m wearing fairly new cargo shorts right now. From crotch to the end of the inseam is 7". 10-15 years ago it was 3". The older shorts had the exact same pockets and functionality. Just mounted a half inch higher and without all the excess cloth hanging down below the pockets. These were the shortest cargo shorts I could find; they sell them even longer :smack:. As a teen back in the 1970s I lived in OP shorts. The ones where the crotch to inseam length was about 1-1/2". I wish I could still get them and wear them without the gay-pride connotation so eloquently mentioned by **JAQ**. Men’s fashion is always pretty dumb. But letting the friggin’ NBA decide on short styles for the rest of us was extra dumb. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557/17 "2017-02-23T17:39:03Z")
The main downside to wearing short-shorts is having to memorize the handkerchief code. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557/18 "2017-02-23T17:43:40Z")
I’ve never listened to “them.” I’m 59 and wear jeans shorts all year round. Of course, I live in Tucson, where the climate is conducive to wearing shorts. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557/19 "2017-02-23T18:42:43Z")
Because they saw me wearing them. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![BeeGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557/20 "2017-02-23T18:52:14Z")
Just remember that short shorts have rules of decorum like shorter skirts. Better practice sitting in front of a mirror to see what’s showing. Or about to pop out. I didn’t think it was so much that “they” decided, as it was men rebelled at having to be so careful about sitting, jumping, or bending over. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-they-decide-men-cant-wear-shorts/780557.md?page=2)