So carry a packet of tissues.
With all of the NBA references in this thread, I would’ve expected to see a mention of Michael Jordan. As I remember it back in the day, Jordan specifically was the guy who started wearing baggy shorts* and other players followed suit until it became the norm. Watching Jordan match up against John Stockton, one of the last short-short holdouts back then was always funny.
Jordan, to my knowledge was also the guy who popularized shaving your head if you were going bald. I don’t think he was goatees, which I also think got popularized via the NBA - I think that was Magic Johnson and his peers a few years before MJ.
*ISTR that he wore his UNC college shorts underneath his Chicago Bulls shorts for luck, so it was a combination of style choice and coverage.
Snopes has the story on John Ritter’s short-shorts, which seems worth a mention.
Aesthetics. Ugh. Do NOT WANT to see your hairy thighs.
Short shorts are for women with nice legs.
Ukulele Ike: the name conjures up images of cargo shorts, loud Hawaiian shirts and tiny 4-string guitars.
You’re not foolin’ anyone. 
It’s the same “they” that want us to wear diaphanous sweatpants and t-shirts made of ultralightweight pressed petroleum byproducts, instead of what nature intended.
It’s a trick now to find good ol’ thick gray cotton sweatpants.
And I have extremely attractive legs, or so Mrs. J. tells me.
Uggh, we were at my husband’s boss’ house for one of those “get to know your employees” things. It involved sitting in a circle and playing various games. At one point I looked at the guy directly at me and there he was. Rightie.
All I could think of to say to myself was “Well, I really got to know him!”
If you wear short shorts you shouldn’t also manspread.
Hey! My namesake was a VERY dapper and urbane fellow! Not to mention a Bear in a Lady’s Boudoir.
^ what he said.
The Handkerchief Code.
Bob
I am properly humbled.
Nice bio, BTW.
What would that signify, use me, wad me up and toss me away?
Workplace dress codes - it’s a place where sexism is still alive and well. Typical ‘business smart’ or ‘business casual’ dress codes have the men wearing full length trousers, whereas skirts are acceptable for women.
I actually queried this in my last place of work, which was a government organisation, and took pride in its Equality and Diversity policy, yet had distinct and different office dress codes for men and women.
In the end, I figured out that whereas, as a man, I could face disciplinary action for turning up to work in shorts for violating the workplace dress code policy, if I turned up in a dress or skirt, they would not even be allowed to ask me why, because challenging me on it would be a violation of the Gender Identity section of the Equalities policy (they’re not allowed to care whether or why I might be considering a change of gender identity)
This. I was a kid in the 70’s. It was a bad time to be short; there were scrota popping out in the wild everywhere you looked.
Men just can’t be trusted to keep their knees together. And nobody wants to see that . . .
Kilt. Man clothes, cultural heritage protections. Just be prepared for lots of rude questions from the older ladies.
I wear skirts from time to time. I rarely get hassled, although I’ve had people nudge and point from afar. (The most common reaction is for someone to ask “Is that a kilt?”). I also wear my shorts short (if they’re not short, they aren’t shorts, they’re longs!). I get a lot more ridicule and harassment on the sidewalks etc when I do.
WordMan, your post gives me the best opportunity I will probably ever have to make known to the world (or, at least, the Dope, which is the best of the world) my pet theory on How To Make America Great Again.
American will be Great Again when basketball uniforms are tight and baseball uniforms are baggy once more.
Oh, and baseball should be played in black and white or, even better, in sepia-tone. Including live games.
Fedoras, white dress shirts, & ties will be worn by all men in the stands. Anyone wearing theirs ironically will be thrown off the top of the stadium. Games will last not less than 4 hours and beer will be sold for half price as you’re leaving after the game.
I’m in on this. Totally in. 
Eh, I’ll allow straw boaters on hot summer days. And damn TV - night games are right out. Twilight double headers are as far as I’ll go.
If you think men in short shorts is gross, remember Speedos? Ewwwwwwww.
I do think an exception to the change in shorts law should be made for men with short legs, though. Although they are cute, pouting in their culottes.
You mean guys wearing short shorts like this?
Guys in short shorts or in leggings are seen as being really gay or being pervert. It too feminism for guys to wear short shorts or leggings now.
So guys wear longer shorts. Guys want to look more guy looking and less feminism.