# Why did you fuck that guy on holiday? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 16, 2005, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555 "2005-06-16T15:45:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![litost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@litost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/litost)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555/41 "2005-06-16T20:38:27Z")
“Recreational boinking”… isn’t that a tautology? ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555/42 "2005-06-16T20:44:31Z")
After this word from our Bubble Yum sponsors, we’ll be back to DeGrassi Junior High here on Nick Jr. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555/43 "2005-06-16T20:56:34Z")
Hey, is this the same girlfriend who doesn’t help clean and prepare for parties, and then gets completely out of control at the party? If so, does she still owe you money? I was wondering how that all played out. You said that she thinks she has control. If you’re angered and upset by her behavior, yet are still sleeping in the same bed, then yeah … she DOES have control. ---
**Author:** ![GomiBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@GomiBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GomiBoy)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555/44 "2005-06-16T21:22:22Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > I think **weirddave** made a good post. Though I can’t help but wonder why when sex enters into a story everyone always seems to be all for throwing politeness and courtesy out the window. > > I mean, it sounds to me as if this group of close friends had a trip planned. OP and ex broke up but are still going on this trip relatively shortly after break-up. No, she’s not under any contractual obligation to not fuck a mutual friend while they’re all traveling together, but it’s the fucking (pun intended) _considerate_ thing to do. > > At best the ex was inconsiderate and rude, and at worst was being spiteful and manipulative (her asking for a re-try at the relationship immediately after the trip lends me to think it was the later). > > Sex is great, but there’s a time and place for everything, and this was a time for her to keep her dick in her pants, so to speak. Thank you; that is my one and only point. ---
**Author:** ![GomiBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@GomiBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GomiBoy)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555/45 "2005-06-16T21:24:28Z")
> [@delphica](#): > > Hey, is this the same girlfriend who doesn’t help clean and prepare for parties, and then gets completely out of control at the party? If so, does she still owe you money? I was wondering how that all played out. > > You said that she thinks she has control. If you’re angered and upset by her behavior, yet are still sleeping in the same bed, then yeah … she DOES have control. She paid me back. That party was one of the big reasons why we broke up. And to answer everyone else - as i said before, I am moving out as soon as I possibly can. Until then, it’s like it or lump it. As we have other housemates, sleeping on the sofa is not an option, and the few local friends I have who could take me in are out of town for the next 2 weeks at a big trade show. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555/46 "2005-06-16T21:26:55Z")
So grab a pillow, some blankets and sleep on the floor. ---
**Author:** ![GomiBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@GomiBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GomiBoy)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555/47 "2005-06-16T21:30:12Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > What kind of friend would ball your ex, knowing you still live with her and then be a party to rubbing it in your face? I’d be pissed at him as well as at her. And, what with revenge being sweet and all, I might bring some other girl home, ask your ex to sleep on the sofa, and then you and the other girl should lock yourselves in the bedroom and make as much noise as possible. Repeat every night until you move out. Tell your ex she needs to get her head around it----actually, that ain’t a bad idea in and of itself. Actually, brother of her best friend, so not really a friend of mine. He was actually quite sensitive about it, once he found out the back story. I have no problems with his actions; if presented with the same situation from his perspective, I likely would have done the same thing he did (my ex is pretty damn sexy). And I honestly don’t have a problem with her shagging someone else. I just have a problem with her timing and her consideration for others (namely me). **Guinastasia** Why punish myself more? Why pass up a comfortable bed? It’s only 2 more weeks. I can be a better person than she can, I don’t need to be a dick. And if I can get some recreational boinking as well, then so be it. ---
**Author:** ![GomiBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@GomiBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GomiBoy)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555/48 "2005-06-16T21:32:23Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Call me old fashioned, but when you break up, _you break up_. You scream at each other, you let her throw breakable objects, you pack a bag and you go crash on a friend’s couch. Are you saying that of those 19 friends, none of them would take you in? Little bit more complex than that; we have shared funds, shared rent, shared housing, and my money is mostly tied up in our flat. I needed to shake that money loose before I could move. And nothing moves quickly in England, especially involving finances. ---
**Author:** ![Pashnish\_Ewing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8797f3/32.png) [@Pashnish\_Ewing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pashnish_Ewing)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555/49 "2005-06-16T21:35:07Z")
> [@GomiBoy](#): > > To be perfectly honest, it’s not about her fucking someone else. It’s about how and when she chose to fuck someone else, and about continuing the fling in the face of all decency and the advice of her friends, about her incredibly selfish behaviour that’s designed to hurt me. Don’t kid yourself, **Gomi** , it’s about the sex. But that’s okay. I know it hurts like hell, and believe me, any kind of revenge is not going to make it feel any better. The bad news is, it takes time to get over it. The good news is, once you are over it, you’ll wonder why it bothered you so much in the first place. At least, that’s what it was like for me when I went through a similar situation. YMMV, but not by very much, I’ll bet. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555/50 "2005-06-16T21:35:10Z")
> [@GomiBoy](#): > > I can use her for sex, though… that’s my kind of revenge. > [@GomiBoy](#): > > I can be a better person than she can, I don’t need to be a dick. And if I can get some recreational boinking as well, then so be it. So which is it? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555/51 "2005-06-16T21:35:31Z")
> [@GomiBoy](#): > > **Guinastasia** Why punish myself more? Why pass up a comfortable bed? It’s only 2 more weeks. I can be a better person than she can, I don’t need to be a dick. And if I can get some recreational boinking as well, then so be it. Well, fine, but then don’t bitch that she’s using you. She can’t do that if you don’t let her. ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555/52 "2005-06-17T00:36:09Z")
Ya know, they do that. A lot of women, my ex wife included, fuck around as soon as they break up. It helps their self esteem. You need to get the hell away from this psychobetty. Find someone _else_ to use for sex. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555/53 "2005-06-17T02:26:20Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > It won’t be funny in the retelling. In “Along Came Polly” Hank Azaria plays a French scuba driving instructor who tells Ben Stiller he has to “be like zee ee-po” (be like the hippo). “They were still wearing their fins…” Best line in the movie (something like that anyway). ---
**Author:** ![flood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@flood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flood)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555/54 "2005-06-17T07:06:45Z")
> [@GomiBoy](#): > > I can use her for sex, though… that’s my kind of revenge. She thinks she’s got control. 1st July comes, I leave and don’t look back. 🙂 No offense dude, but this statement kinda goes against what you’re saying about “respect and common courtesy” and how you are “a good guy”. Trust me, your “revenge”, while it may seem clever now, is not going to help you bring closure to this relationship in the long run. ---
**Author:** ![flood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@flood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flood)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555/55 "2005-06-17T07:12:21Z")
> [@JohnBckWLD](#): > > After this word from our Bubble Yum sponsors, we’ll be back to DeGrassi Junior High here on Nick Jr. HAHAHA. Finally, something that actually made me laugh out loud. My gf loves that show! How could I have missed that one the first time around? ---
**Author:** ![GomiBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@GomiBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GomiBoy)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555/56 "2005-06-17T08:41:43Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Well, fine, but then don’t bitch that she’s using you. She can’t do that if you don’t let her. No bitching here… it’s over, it’s done, and now it’s just damage control. ---
**Author:** ![GomiBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@GomiBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GomiBoy)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555/57 "2005-06-17T08:45:14Z")
> [@Kaspar Hauser](#): > > You’re both pretty fucked up. If I took seriously advice from a message board, I would worry about people who say things like this… ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555/58 "2005-06-17T09:36:20Z")
You could also explore an open relationship… if you can do it. Otherwise just get on with your life. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555/59 "2005-06-17T09:38:01Z")
Didn’t like the message, now you’re bashing the messenger? DUDE. -you broke up with her, yet you’re still sleeping in the same bed and still having sex. -you vacationed together and she hooked up. -you’re angry about it because she’s not being polite/discreet? -yet you’re still going to sleep in the same bed with her? and have sex with her? Even I have to say, you don’t have much to stand on here. ---
**Author:** ![GomiBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@GomiBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GomiBoy)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555/60 "2005-06-17T09:49:26Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > Otherwise just get on with your life. That’s my plan; open relationships don’t appeal to me. **Happy Scrappy Hero Pup** - not bashing the messenger. not even disagreeing with the message. Just not taking it too seriously due to it’s origins. I agree it’s pretty weak to stick with her at all, but I figure I can be a better person by not letting her shitty actions turn me into an asshole; I can be true to myself. I never said I wasn’t fucked up, and to be perfectly honest, this is just a chance for me to rant about what’s bugging me; I’m not looking for any validation of either her or my actions. I have a course already decided (move out on my own ASAP, get my life back), I have a plan of action for the short term (don’t look for it, but don’t deny myself a recreational boink if it’s offered; move out on the first of July, try to be a grown-up and be a better person than she is), and a longer term plan - don’t see her again except when absolutely necessary (i.e. a mutual friend is leaving the country soon, and I will be at her farewell party, as will the Ex), move on with my life, look back and laugh at some later point. I’ve explained why I can’t move out right away, and have further explained that I won’t see her after the 1st of July. But some semi-anonymous person on a message board telling me I’m pretty fucked up (when I already know I’m pretty fucked up) just isn’t gonna sink in, dig? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-did-you-fuck-that-guy-on-holiday/308555.md?page=4)