# why do expat americans never go 'back home'? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 29, 2013, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921 "2013-09-29T14:55:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921/41 "2013-09-30T07:13:26Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > One thing I find amusing is people who live in a country for years, have no intention of going back, but still think of themselves as “ex-pats”. Dude… you’re not an ex-pat. You’re an immigrant. > I think it’s nothing more than unconscious racism Maybe not racism or hatred…but rather a deep pride in your own history, and unwillingness to let go of it. An immigrant expects and hopes for his kids and grandkids to be just like the locals. An ex pat somehow secretly hopes that his kids and grandkids will return to the home country. Immigrants are proud that their kids speak the local language better than they do. Ex pats are proud that their kids speak perfect English (or whatever home language of the parents) ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921/42 "2013-09-30T08:20:11Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > I disagree - I think it’s nothing more than unconscious racism. “I’m an _American_, not some dirty immigrant.” This belief is based on what? Have you actually talked to many expats? ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921/43 "2013-09-30T08:26:53Z")
> [@chappachula](#): > > Maybe not racism or hatred…but rather a deep pride in your own history, and unwillingness to let go of it. > > An immigrant expects and hopes for his kids and grandkids to be just like the locals. > An ex pat somehow secretly hopes that his kids and grandkids will return to the home country. > > Immigrants are proud that their kids speak the local language better than they do. > Ex pats are proud that their kids speak perfect English (or whatever home language of the parents) All that’s true, and it’s a good distinction. However, I think it’s still a bit blurry - after all, you can see a lot of the behavior you consider as defining ex-pats in various immigrant enclaves in the U.S. and Europe. > [@TokyoBayer](#): > > This belief is based on what? > > Have you actually talked to many expats? No, but I know plenty of immigrants from western countries. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921/44 "2013-09-30T08:27:22Z")
Some countries don’t do immigration. I could live in China for a hundred years, have Chinese kids, and whatever else, but I would still get called “foreigner” every time I went out. I don’t think China even does permanent residency, much less citizenship, for people without any Chinese descent. ---
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921/45 "2013-09-30T09:26:13Z")
I’ve lived in France for many years and although my 8-year-old is dying to live in the US, I don’t want to move back. What’s better here? - Education: It’s nationalized, so even if you live in a poorer neighborhood, you’ll get the same basic instruction since the curriculum is established for every grade. Many, many students repeat grades if they aren’t up to snuff. Universities are dirt cheap, although highly selective. - Social services: fantastic healthcare, maternity leave policies are generous, family allowances and aid are available, worker rights are protected - The way of life: less consumeristic, less frantic, lower crime - The food and the culture of eating: very well defined and advantageous to health - Naturally beautiful and easy to visit: gorgeous cities, an ocean, a sea, mountains, rivers. Public transport is relatively cheap and it’s extremely efficient to move yourself around the country Of course there are disadvantages to living here, too, but the positive points far outweigh the negatives. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921/46 "2013-09-30T09:39:43Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > One thing I find amusing is people who live in a country for years, have no intention of going back, but still think of themselves as “ex-pats”. Dude… you’re not an ex-pat. You’re an immigrant. I’ve lived in London now for almost 18 years and am definitely one of those “I’d go back to the US but man, it’s fucked up” people. I look at the nursery-school tactics of Congress, I look at the utterly incompetent media, I look at the extremely polarization of the populace and the steady creep of wilful ignorance, and most of all I see the trainwreck that is the healthcare system in the US…and then I look at the NHS and the BBC and think “Maybe I’ll stay a little longer until the country comes to its senses”. Sure, there’s a lot to complain about here too (especially about the cost of living and the shambles-in-a-different-way government) but I never worry that I’m going to have to think twice before taking my daughter to a doctor when she’s seriously ill, I never worry about getting shot by criminals or idiots, and I never worry that I’m going to have to un-teach creationism because a group of morons in Texas got the school textbooks changed. I do miss seeing my extended family and friends more often and there are many fine things about America too (and I do defend it against the calumnies of the ignorant here) but still - ever since 2001 it’s taken the express train to Crazyland and I’m not ready to hop on board yet. And I’ll be an immigrant when I get my UK citizenship and give up my US one. Until then, I’m an ex-pat. ---
**Author:** ![simple\_homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@simple\_homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simple_homer)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921/47 "2013-09-30T12:05:51Z")
I am an American that previously lived in the Philippines for 5 years, and am now in my 5th year in China. I would never be accepted as an immigrant in either the Philippines or China. I will always be the foreigner or expat. I love America, but I find it to be boring, so I prefer the adventure of living in other countries. ---
**Author:** ![DrumBum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e79b87/32.png) [@DrumBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrumBum)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921/48 "2013-09-30T12:54:31Z")
I have spent most of my life as and expat, starting from birth as an Army brat and continuing on to my current assignment. I do it because I enjoy the different cultures and people I meet. I suspect I will retire in the next five years or so, and we will repatriate to the US. We have a home in California and will settle there and see how things go. If the US government continues be held hostage by the crazies then we will settle somewhere else, with only a few regrets. > [@Alessan](#): > > I disagree - I think it’s nothing more than unconscious racism. “I’m an _American_, not some dirty immigrant.” Sadly, while I know there is some validity to this declaration, I am pleased that the company I work for is quite vigilant in the screening of applicants for expatriate assignments. There interviews, orientation meetings, and initial site visits by both spouses, all of which are designed to weed out those who are not suitable to represent the company or it’s policies. Many of the other large companies do something similar as well. And to clarify your statement, this screening applies to _all_ employees and not just the Americans. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921/49 "2013-09-30T13:27:59Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > No, but I know plenty of immigrants from western countries. Then how can you possibly know how they feel? ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921/50 "2013-09-30T14:10:35Z")
Feeling has nothing to do with it. If you move to a country, and don’t move back, then you’re an immigrant. Else what does the word mean? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921/51 "2013-09-30T15:19:14Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Feeling has nothing to do with it. If you move to a country, and don’t move back, then you’re an immigrant. Else what does the word mean? And you are an expat as well. I personally don’t see any problem in referring to someone from a Western country who has permanently moved to another country as an immigrant. I know a number of “expats” who have “gone native,” gotten their local citizenship, and would be more than happy to refer to themselves as immigrants. Like I said above, I do think there is a certain difference in how the word is used, based on the reasons for expatriation. I don’t think it’s racist at all (that makes no sense, as many expats are the same race as the people of the country they are in), but there may be some unconscious classism or feelings of cultural superiority involved. Maybe. Or, most likely, people just don’t even think about it and use the words that are used in the community. I had never used the word “expat” until I became one. That’s what we were referred to. If someone called me an immigrant, I wouldn’t have objected. Why should I? ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921/52 "2013-09-30T15:24:35Z")
**Alessan** , If you move to someplace, stay 10 years then return to your homeland, what were you? In year 8, when you’re feeling pretty settled, are you something different than in year 9, when you change your mind and start to plan for return to the nation of origin? My family has close family friends who are British. They lived for about 10 years in the US, and their youngest is a natural born American citizen. They went back when the oldest was 13 and have remained in England since then (all except the older daughter, who is a US citizen by marriage and lives in NYC). ---
**Author:** ![sentrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac8455/32.png) [@sentrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sentrix)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921/53 "2013-09-30T15:28:49Z")
i’ve been an expat for close to fifteen years. i feel i have no country i call ‘home’ as my job dictates otherwise, that, and the fact that my family is spread out over three continents. all is good though. the thought of actually ‘going back home forever’ is not in my dictionary. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921/54 "2013-09-30T15:43:04Z")
I don’t think it has to be anything particularly complex or political. People somewhere, they get settled, form relationships and attachments, maybe a career. There is no more reason for them to go back to America than you might go back to a town you moved away from when you were 8 years old. > [@pulykamell](#): > > And you are an expat as well. I personally don’t see any problem in referring to someone from a Western country who has permanently moved to another country as an immigrant. I know a number of “expats” who have “gone native,” gotten their local citizenship, and would be more than happy to refer to themselves as immigrants. > > Like I said above, I do think there is a certain difference in how the word is used, based on the reasons for expatriation. I don’t think it’s racist at all (that makes no sense, as many expats are the same race as the people of the country they are in), but there may be some unconscious classism or feelings of cultural superiority involved. Maybe. Immigrants are smelly, disheveled people who sneak into a country in trucks or on leaky boats to work for peanuts. Expats hang out in upscale hotel bars with consultants for oil companies, journalists, and embassy employees who may or may not work for the intelligence community.😃 ---
**Author:** ![sentrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac8455/32.png) [@sentrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sentrix)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921/55 "2013-09-30T15:47:31Z")
immigrants mate? australia is the nation of immigrants, convicts, crims and undesirables. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921/56 "2013-09-30T17:05:58Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > I disagree - I think it’s nothing more than unconscious racism. “I’m an _American_, not some dirty immigrant.” I think this is complete nonsense. If I were to make an effort to obtain Thai citizenship, something that would not be impossible to achieve, then I would consider myself an immigrant. I retain my precious American citizenship and – who knows? – may someday live in America again, so I am an expat. I assure you there is no Rambo sentiment involved. Anyone who conscientiously retains his or her citizenship can be considered an expat. > [@SaxFace](#): > > I’ve lived in France for many years and although my 8-year-old is dying to live in the US, I don’t want to move back. I can understand your daughter’s feelings. My best friend in Thailand, a fellow American, has two daughters with his Thai wife. He basically married his secretary, and they live in a sizable city in the Northeast. Both daughters are now high-school age. One is very Thai and could probably live in Thailand forever. The other, the oldest, is very much into her American heritage and just completed a year as a high-school exchange student in Minnesota. (There was some consideration about whether she was eligible for the program, since she _is_ an American citizen, but it was finally decided she really is basically a Thai, the correct decision I think. She was even very shy about her English but now can talk up a storm from what I hear.) Now she’s looking at universities in the US. > [@sentrix](#): > > i’ve been an expat for close to fifteen years. i feel i have no country i call ‘home’ as my job dictates otherwise, that, and the fact that my family is spread out over three continents. > > all is good though. the thought of actually ‘going back home forever’ is not in my dictionary. No offense, but I don’t quite understand you. Your OP sounded like you may have had a chip on your shoulder about “ungrateful Americans” who left their country. Now I see you’re an expat yourself? ---
**Author:** ![sentrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac8455/32.png) [@sentrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sentrix)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921/57 "2013-09-30T17:09:35Z")
not merkan and no chip. love the ones that have a go overseas. changes their global thinking. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921/58 "2013-09-30T17:21:08Z")
> [@sentrix](#): > > not merkan and no chip. love the ones that have a go overseas. changes their global thinking. Apologies if I misunderstood you. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921/59 "2013-10-01T01:32:40Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Feeling has nothing to do with it. If you move to a country, and don’t move back, then you’re an immigrant. Else what does the word mean? You’re claiming to understand our minds. Let’s see exactly what you said. > [@Alessan](#): > > I disagree - I think it’s nothing more than unconscious racism. “I’m an _American_, not some dirty immigrant.” You feel comfortable calling people you don’t know to be racists despite a number of people posting various reason why something is not how you believe. That is ugly. ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921/60 "2013-10-01T02:13:05Z")
sentrix writes: \> australia is the nation of immigrants, convicts, crims and undesirables. There were far more non-convict immigrants to Australia than convict ones: > **[Australians](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australians)** > > Australians, colloquially known as Aussies, are the citizens, nationals and individuals associated with the country of Australia. This connection may be residential, legal, historical or ethno-cultural. For most Australians, several (or all) of these connections exist and are collectively the source of their being Australian. Australian law does not provide for a racial or ethnic component of nationality, instead relying on citizenship as a legal status. > Since the postwar period, Australia ha... [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-expat-americans-never-go-back-home/669921.md?page=4)