I’ve enjoyed so many great writers over the years. It’s amazing how a book draws me in and I lose all passage of time. Start reading in the early afternoon and suddenly its pitch black outside. 
I see the point that carefully written dialogue makes all the difference. It’s like music where you may not pay attention to all the words but a false note can be jarring.
Shit, I usually obsess over every word I post here, much less in my fiction. And you can tell when I don’t because its ideas are all over the place and it doesn’t make sense. I blame computers because they permit me to tweak and adjust every word. I took an on-TV college class while working days and taking care of two babies at night; the class required a weekly one-page essay. I typed it on a typewriter because that forced me to focus and put my thoughts in order. If I hadn’t I’d still be writing the first one.
I can’t entirely disagree. I love computers, because they make deleting the wrong words so much easier. I use the backspace (Delete) key more than any other!
But…yeah, there’s that risk. A good friend of mine wrote his first novel in a kind of “triangular” style. He wrote chapter 1, wrote ch. 2, re-wrote ch. 1, re-wrote ch. 2, wrote ch. 3, re-wrote ch. 1, re-wrote ch. 2, etc. By the time he’d finished chapter 30, he’d re-written chapter one thirty times, chapter two twenty-nine times, etc.!
(I scarcely exaggerate!) His first chapter was the most finely polished piece of work you’ve ever seen. His later chapters got more and more ragged. If he hadn’t had a deadline, I’m sure he would still be re-writing this thing, and that’s twenty years ago.
A little obsession is part of the art-form. Too much is…too much.
Part of the fun of writing is having an idea in your mind and transferring it to the page and to a reader in the best way. If you’re trying to set a scene or express an idea why wouldn’t you do it as well as you can? Language is full of words and phrases that mean almost the same thing, but they all carry slightly different connotations and if there’s one that brings your scene into focus, of course you want to find that one. There’s nothing quite like that feeling of working at a sentence or a paragraph that’s been driving you crazy until you finally get it right. It’s about having a craft and practicing your skills.
To put it another way, I don’t think we’d remember Dickens quite the same way if he’d decided to start A Tale of Two Cities with “It was a real great time, it was a real bad time…”
…because it saves time and work for their editors?
Nah!! Forget I even suggested it!
I’m the opposite. I find using a computer frees me up. It allows me to just start writing without feeling the need to have the entire work pre-written in my mind. I can put words down on the page and then go back and revise for quality (or, in some cases, realize halfway through that I actually should be writing something different than what I started on).
I’m fortunate that I’m not too obsessive on achieving perfection. I can reach a point and say “There. That’s what I meant to say and I’ve said it. This is done.”
No. I obsessed just as much when I was using a typewriter. The main difference is that then I would type the draft and edit it (my manuscripts were awash with red ink, and I would always make changes on the fly as I retyped the final draft) when now you can do it as you type the text.
Think of it as telling a joke…some people can add a single word or twist of phrase to make a story REALLY funny, but someone else can tell the same basic joke and not even get a smile.
Often, the more effortless the written word looks, the longer it took to write it.
People read differently. I read much like the OP and literally have a little movie playing in my mind’s eye as I read. Excessive unnecessary (IMO) descriptions or exposition is much like fighting through quicksand or running in sand to me. It’s all about the story.
However, friends of mine read very differently and the actual words and sentences on the page and the craft in them is part of the reading experience. I don’t get it, but it’s definitely real.
Skipping whole sentences? I don’t even. The only time I do that is if they go into a ponderous multi-paragraph description of ho hum scenery or clothing. Or a Tom Clancy-esque obsession with some neat-o weapon system. And even then I feel a little bad because I might miss some foreshadowing. But when people are actually talking and doing things? Pff. Guess I suck at reading.
Literally? 
But, yeah! Me too! My mind translates the words into visual mental images.
This often frustrates me when a scene is described incompletely. Say, the Pirate ship comes alongside the Merchant Ship, and the pirates swarm over the railing. Then, in the middle of all of this, the author mentions, “…and sweep the decks from starboard to port.”
Uh oh! Because the author didn’t mention which railing the pirates swarmed over, I had painted it, in my mind, as the port railing. Now the author takes that away from me, and I have to erase the entire picture and re-paint it again, with left and right reversed.
Authors: don’t do this! Make your scenes clear from the beginning, so we “visual” readers can get it right in our heads. Thanks!
He also said (in the wonderful essay Fenimore Cooper’s Literary Offenses) that the “rules governing literary art in the domain of romantic fiction … require that that the author shall use the right word, not its second cousin.”
I, for one, am very aware - and grateful - when an author has taken the (often considerable) trouble to do this.
Oh God, I LOVE this essay of Mark Twain’s! Thanks for reminding me of it. I first encountered it in college (1968) when my English teacher loaned me a book called The Antic Muse. Now we have the interwebs and everything is at our fingertips! Yay, progress!
I love this part (Twain speaking):
That seems strange like it’d keep you from getting into what you’re reading… I’m never aware when the author has used the right word. I am however, aware of when they use NOT the right word, and it jars me out of whatever I’m reading.
You write with ease, to show your breeding,
But easy writing’s vile, hard reading.
Don’t you notice when a singer hits the perfect note? Or an ice skater executes a perfect jump? Or a basketball player makes a basket? To me, hitting the right word is exactly the same thing and I definitely notice. And I sometimes stand up and cheer (in my mind), or turn to whoever’s there and read it to them.
No.
Those I notice, but an athletic performance is different from a song, or a story.
An athletic performance is a series of plays that are to be taken one after another.
A song or work of fiction is a gestalt, the beauty being in the whole. Paying attention to individual notes, words, or phrases isolates them and destroys the gestalt. So any that draw attention to themselves are, pretty much by definition, the wrong one. (Barring deliberate dissonance, where that’s the whole point.) Doesn’t matter if it’s a perfect execution of a difficult note, or a clever bit of wordplay, it failed at what it should have been doing.
Oh my. So you only notice stuff when it’s wrong or out of place.
You’re not talking about someone like Stephen Donaldson who seems to be driven to use words like abeyance, inchoate, gelid and demesne, even though they don’t really add that much to a story?
I appreciate the story as a whole. I love a great mystery that is logically plotted and leaves me guessing right up until the final pages. Or a well written character that changes and learns from whatever they experienced in the story. I like taking that journey with the character.
Books and movies are very similar to me. All the elements have to be right for it too work. I don’t listen that closely for the words unless they are jarring and wrong. Bad writing is very hard to ignore.