# Why do gays want to call their relationship a "marriage"? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [July 7, 2015, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436 "2015-07-07T01:03:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436/301 "2015-07-09T16:06:27Z")
> [@Smartass](#): > > Well, that seems to be the position taken by the OP. More specifically, if we’re going to refer to gay unions as “marriages”, then what should we call “proper” man/woman unions to distinguish them from those less-than-ideal gay ones? Apparently, gay marriages have ruined the utility of the word “marriage”. > > To be clear, that’s not MY position. I was just catching you up on the thrust of the debate. It’s not about adult relationships, it’s about “capacity to procreate” and “the ideal household structure for hatching and raising children”. There has been no explanation of where this idea that children are hatched came from; however, sadly, that’s not even the most ridiculous notion that’s been posited. > > -VM I like to try to think well of my fellow man, and so I believe the “hatching” remark was an attempt at humor by a person who has heard of the concept but has never actually witnessed anything funny himself. ---
**Author:** ![Smartass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@Smartass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smartass)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436/302 "2015-07-09T16:07:18Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > And, again, if studies show that children of _straight_ parents were underperforming a bit compared to children of gay parents, how would we respond? (Agreeing with **Czarcasm** …) I think that **Cornopean** has made it clear that we all should know intuitively that man-woman “marriages” which lead to procreation are the ideal. It’s what we all are supposed to be striving for, which means that what you’re suggesting is an obvious impossibility (and if he returns to the thread, I expect **Cornopean** will steadfastly ignore or dismiss the question). -VM ---
**Author:** ![Smartass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@Smartass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smartass)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436/303 "2015-07-09T16:10:07Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > I like to try to think well of my fellow man…but has never actually witnessed anything funny himself. I appreciate your position: All things in moderation. I’ll try to think well of him, but not go overboard with the idea. 😉 -VM ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436/304 "2015-07-09T17:03:15Z")
> [@marshmallow](#): > > I’m curious what the reaction would be if studies showed that gay marriage actually did lead to poorer outcomes for children, like the New Family Structures Study did. That was roundly criticized and seems to have been faulty. But what if it were bulletproof? I wonder if anyone would even care, outside the right. Or people would just say they’re free to make poor choices, or similar language re: single parent households. Well, there are lots of studies (valid ones, not like the Family Structures farce) that clearly show **divorce** has bad effects on the children. But we still allow divorce. For almost any reason, nowadays. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436/305 "2015-07-09T17:23:00Z")
Every time I read the title of this thread, I want to ask the OP: Why do Christians want to tell everyone what to call everything and how to live? Because that is the question I have to ask whenever the OP tells me anything. I am not the least bit interested in telling other people how they should live unless they are actually setting fire to my house or something, but the religious among us seem to feel called upon to tell me what to do and how to be all the time. How does my life affect them? Surely they aren’t all just worried about my theoretical soul? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436/306 "2015-07-09T17:39:13Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > Every time I read the title of this thread, I want to ask the OP: Why do Christians want to tell everyone what to call everything and how to live? Yep. One day they’ll push things too far and we’ll declare war on Xmas. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436/307 "2015-07-09T18:03:15Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Yep. One day they’ll push things too far and we’ll declare war on Xmas. Leave Annie alone! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436/308 "2015-07-09T18:09:13Z")
> [@simster](#): > > Leave Annie alone! 😃 Truce/Peace talks, dude! ---
**Author:** ![Smartass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@Smartass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smartass)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436/309 "2015-07-09T18:39:40Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > How does my life affect them? Surely they aren’t all just worried about my theoretical soul? Actually, he hasn’t expressed any concern for anyone’s theoretical soul. There’s a much more important issue here: It’s _for the children_. You see, there is no credible evidence that gay parents are bad for children (i.e. “less than ideal”), but **Cornopean** is very sure that they are, and that it should be obvious to all of us. Because stereotypes. -VM ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436/310 "2015-07-09T19:28:25Z")
Gee, I never realized that the Brady Bunch was such a horrific show, what with its depiction of human rights violations. ::shudder:: And I didn’t realize that the fact that my wife is the disciplinarian in our family (hell, even the dogs know it!) reflects some genetic defect, instead of just a manifestation of our personalities. The things you learn on the Dope! > [@DrFidelius](#): > > I like to try to think well of my fellow man, and so I believe the “hatching” remark was an attempt at humor by a person who has heard of the concept but has never actually witnessed anything funny himself. Normally, I’d agree with you, but he also thinks that there is a possibility that a heterosexual woman who marries a man when she is in her 90’s, or has had her uterus removed, might get pregnant. So I’m not so sure that this is meant to be a joke. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436/311 "2015-07-09T19:37:54Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > I like to try to think well of my fellow man, and so I believe the “hatching” remark was an attempt at humor by a person who has heard of the concept but has never actually witnessed anything funny himself. Huh? What’s wrong with flippant, whimsical talk now and then? We don’t always have to say “penes.” Every now and then we can talk about dicks, cocks, and tallywhackers. Birth…hatching…falling out of the womb…the head-first oxygen dive…leaving that bourne to which no man returneth except Oedipus… ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436/312 "2015-07-09T21:22:55Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > Gee, I never realized that the Brady Bunch was such a horrific show, what with its depiction of human rights violations. ::shudder:: > > And I didn’t realize that the fact that my wife is the disciplinarian in our family (hell, even the dogs know it!) reflects some genetic defect, instead of just a manifestation of our personalities. The things you learn on the Dope! > Normally, I’d agree with you, but he also thinks that there is a possibility that a heterosexual woman who marries a man when she is in her 90’s, or has had her uterus removed, might get pregnant. So I’m not so sure that this is meant to be a joke. hey - bible - wasn’t it ‘Sarah’ that got preggers in her 90s after being baran - only to have a kid that god wanted to kill -but ended up making it a test? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436/313 "2015-07-10T10:02:51Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > _Everyone_ has used that line. Trying to track down who said it first is like trying to figure out who first asked why the chicken crossed the road. Actually, I have it on good authority that the question was first asked by an RRA (Roosters Rights Activist) who couldn’t accept that she was simply avoiding HIM… ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436/314 "2015-07-10T10:04:40Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Actually, I have it on good authority that the question was first asked by an RRA (Roosters Rights Activist) who couldn’t accept that she was simply avoiding HIM… Well, he _was_ sort of a cock. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436/315 "2015-07-10T11:13:06Z")
> [@simster](#): > > “breeders” > [@cornopean](#): > > Ok…thanks. You answered my question. > > “Breeders” is now the term we will use to describe that relationship which is capable of producing children. > “Marriage” from here on out will be used to describe any close, intimate relatioship between consenting adults. Great! Go forth and spread the word throughout the land that opposite-sex married couples who are capable of producing issue shall henceforth exchange the term “marriage” for the term “breeders.” Don’t take “no” for an answer, either. I urge you to call upon your prodigious powers of persuasion to achieve acceptance of this new nomenclatural reality. I recognize that this will not be a small task, and it could take up to fifty years to accomplish it. I suggest you return every five years to apprise us of your progress. You go with the thanks of a grateful nation. Are you still here? Chop chop! Time’s a-wastin’! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436/316 "2015-07-10T11:19:33Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Great! Go forth and spread the word throughout the land that opposite-sex married couples who are capable of producing issue shall henceforth exchange the term “marriage” for the term “breeders.” What will he call opposite-sex _unmarried_ couples who can and do reproduce? ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436/317 "2015-07-10T11:46:22Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > What will he call opposite-sex _unmarried_ couples who can and do reproduce? I was going to suggest breedahs but thought that it might get confusing in Boston. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436/318 "2015-07-10T15:21:55Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > What will he call opposite-sex _unmarried_ couples who can and do reproduce? Breedees. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436/319 "2015-07-10T15:33:43Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Breedees. Sounds like a My Little Pony. ---
**Author:** ![Smartass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@Smartass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smartass)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436/320 "2015-07-10T23:40:08Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Breedees. I would’ve thought the “breedees” would be the resulting children? -VM [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-gays-want-to-call-their-relationship-a-marriage/724436.md?page=17)