# Why do girls go Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs over the Twilight Vampire movies? What's the hook? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 9, 2010, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115 "2010-07-09T17:29:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115/21 "2010-07-09T21:56:04Z")
> [@Candyman74](#): > > They aren’t vampires, they’re super-teenagers. They all around in daylight, aren’t dependent on human blood, can look at crosses - basically vampires with all the disadvantages removed. This is a much better way of saying what I meant. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115/22 "2010-07-09T23:25:57Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Those movies would be perfect if they had just one more character. > Buffy Summers. I think Blade is the better choice. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115/23 "2010-07-09T23:56:00Z")
> [@Candyman74](#): > > I think the motto is: teenage girls like pedophiles. How else do you explain 150-year olds hanging around with 15-year-old girls? > \* > “Hmmm. I’m 150 years old. What now? Ah! I need to go to high school and get fruity with a girl barely past puberty! That’ll be fun!”\* I’ll admit to taking a poke at Twilght in the novel I’m writing, and the mention of Twilight does answer your question…Danny is the narrator’s foster kid, ftr. > [@](#): > > Danny looked like he might want to argue about this further, but he glanced at the clock. He had less than ten minutes to get to the bus stop, so he left after shoveling down his cereal, splashing water in his empty bowl, and grabbing his backpack. > > Watching him run out the door, I shook my head. This happened almost every morning, yet he never thought to set his alarm for a few minutes earlier. I’d read a few articles that claimed that the frontal lobe of the human brain doesn’t fully develop until the age of twenty-five, which might explain a few things about teenagers. And teenage vampires, for that matter. I considered myself fortunate that Danny was a boy, so I didn’t have to worry about which team he was loyal to in regards to Twilight. Perhaps a permanently stunted frontal lobe explained why a vampire nearly a hundred years old still acted like a boy of seventeen. > > Vampires were still on my mind as I drove to my office. It was sort of nice to know that they didn’t actually exist. One less monster to worry about. ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115/24 "2010-07-10T01:43:09Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > I think Blade is the better choice. Yeah!!! Two hours of Angstsy Kirsten Stewart and Scowly Wesley Snipes!! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![JayRx1981](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71e660/32.png) [@JayRx1981](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JayRx1981)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115/25 "2010-07-10T01:50:56Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > I think Blade is the better choice. Only if it is Blade meets To Wong Foo. I’d pay good money to see Noxeema take out Edward Cullen. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115/26 "2010-07-10T02:00:30Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > I think Blade is the better choice. Yes, [this](http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y351/CSStuff/Misc%20humor/blade-twilight.jpg) was my first thought. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115/27 "2010-07-10T02:58:51Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Yes, [this](http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y351/CSStuff/Misc%20humor/blade-twilight.jpg) was my first thought. I knew someone would find a link to that picture. I was just too lazy to do it myself. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115/28 "2010-07-10T13:22:11Z")
> [@jackdavinci](#): > > But I don’t think it really has anything to do with vampires. It’s a Mary Sue story about a clumsy awkward girl who has two hot dudes fighting over her, one of whom is practically a stalker. In any case, their entire universes revolve around this girl and make her feel special. On top of which there are various obstacles to them being able to consummate their relationship, which makes them long for each other even more. So any teenage girl who reads the story is going to lap that stuff up like crazy. This is pretty much it. The series is about an ordinary or even sub-ordinary girl who moves to a new town, instantly becomes the most popular girl in school, and has guys falling all over themselves for her – including two of literally superhuman hotness. This love triangle eventually becomes of worldwide importance, just the way every romance feels to teens. I’ve only read the first book (not even all of it), but it’s page after page of drooling descriptions of Edward’s perfect face and bod. In the movie the “bad vampires are killing people” plot is introduced pretty early on, but this must not appear until the second half of the book because I didn’t even get that far. For a good chunk of the book there is truly no plot beyond “Why is that super-hot guy acting so weird? Wait, does he like me? OMG, HE LIKES ME!” There’s also a plot device that reminds me of that “porn for women” channel Jack developed on _30 Rock_ – Edward can read minds, but not Bella’s, so he’s always really interested in hearing about what she’s thinking and feeling! Several non-romance elements in the book are going to appeal to the adolescent mindset, like the way Bella is depicted as more of an adult than her own parents and the fact that these parents truly cannot understand what her life is like or the sorts of problems she’s facing. > [@vivalostwages](#): > > It’s a teen girl fantasy about being with a bad boy. A bad boy who’s well-mannered, respectful towards his “parents”, wants to wait until marriage to have sex, enjoys playing baseball with his “siblings”, plays the piano, and drives a freakin’ _Volvo_? Despite being a vampire (who doesn’t drink human blood!), Edward Cullen isn’t even as much of a “bad boy” as the John Travolta character in _Grease_. While any sensible person is going to recognize Edward’s behavior towards Bella as being creepy, controlling, and abusive, both Meyer and most of her fans seem totally unaware of this. The reader is clearly meant to understand that Edward really does just want to protect Bella, and that Bella is in fact in need of this protection. (This is a girl who can’t even walk through an open doorway without falling over.) Meyer takes pains to explain how even things that seem dangerous, like speeding, are safe as houses when _Edward_ does them. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115/29 "2010-07-10T13:36:21Z")
> [@Kyla](#): > > She’s beautiful and all the guys want her and the most gorgeous guy in school falls in love with her because she has a mysterious power. (If you’re not aware, Edward the Vampire can read people’s minds. But for some reason, he can’t read Bella’s. SHE IS SO UNIQUE YOU GUYS.) Wait a minute, you mean like how in the Sookie Stackhouse books, Sookie loves the vampire Bill because she can read the minds of everyone but him? So Twilight is a blatant rip-off of Charlaine Harris who is a blatant rip-off of Laurel K. Hamilton. The Vampire Porn world is an incestuous one. (And hey, if I were a vampire and could read the minds of everyone but the most vacuous girl in school, I’m not sure I’d attribute it so much to her special power as maybe just there’s not all that much to read.) ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115/30 "2010-07-10T13:51:30Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > I think Blade is the better choice. Or any given Ordo Xenos inquisitor. After all the fourth book introduces a telepathic half-breed that just happens to have multiple characters spontaneously fall in love with her, who practically tore her mother apart during the pregnancy. If that doesn’t scream “genestealer cult”, I don’t know what does. ---
**Author:** ![boozilu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4da419/32.png) [@boozilu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boozilu)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115/31 "2010-07-10T14:13:32Z")
It’s a teenage girl’s idea of perfect love (see Wuthering Heights). I can’t live without you. You are my everything. I’m obsessed with you because you’re the only one for me. And Bella is very passive and so is swept away by these larger-than-life characters and events. For a girl who longs to be special, identifying with Bella is a heady experience. She feels awkward and alone and different but inspires these passionate feelings in amazing people. For the record, I enjoyed the first book on a superficial level but would have LOVED it as a teenager, when I was feeling awkward and alone and different. PS – I’m in my mid-40s ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115/32 "2010-07-10T15:00:07Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Those movies would be perfect if they had just one more character. > Buffy Summers. I know you’re jesting, but Buffy would screw up the dynamic of the tale. She’s too personally powerful. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115/33 "2010-07-10T15:05:29Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I know you’re jesting, but Buffy would screw up the dynamic of the tale. She’s too personally powerful. That was the point. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115/34 "2010-07-10T15:37:44Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Those movies would be perfect if they had just one more character. > Buffy Summers. [Here you go.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZwM3GvaTRM) ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115/35 "2010-07-10T16:20:53Z")
> [@Finagle](#): > > (And hey, if I were a vampire and could read the minds of everyone but the most vacuous girl in school, I’m not sure I’d attribute it so much to her special power as maybe just there’s not all that much to read.) That’s just what they said on the _Twilight_ RiffTrax! I actually read the book in a RiffTrax-esque manner, taking turns reading it aloud with several friends while on vacation. We’d had plenty to say about Bella’s insufferable personality through the early portion of the book, so when it was revealed that Edward could read everyone’s mind but hers I said “Lucky for her, because if he knew as much about her thoughts as we do then he’d hate her too.” Her inner monologue is mostly whining about everything/nothing and thinking about how she’s secretly much better than everyone else. (In fairness, this is a not-entirely-inaccurate depiction of an adolescent girl.) It’s my understanding that even many _Twilight_ fans don’t like Bella, which I suppose makes it all the easier for them to replace her in their imaginations. If she were kind, intelligent, and capable of going an entire day without falling over, then young readers might feel “No wonder she gets all the hot guys. That will never happen to ME because I’m just a regular girl.” But as things are, many teen girls could reasonably feel that they are both nicer and more competent than Bella. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115/36 "2010-07-10T17:13:54Z")
> [@Finagle](#): > > Wait a minute, you mean like how in the Sookie Stackhouse books, Sookie loves the vampire Bill because she can read the minds of everyone but him? So Twilight is a blatant rip-off of Charlaine Harris who is a blatant rip-off of Laurel K. Hamilton. The Vampire Porn world is an incestuous one. Stephenie Meyer has said that she’s never read any vampire books, so I think she arrived at that plotline on her own. Or she’s lying, I don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115/37 "2010-07-10T18:47:25Z")
The Oatmeal has a [great summary](http://theoatmeal.com/story/twilight). There’s even a video at the end! (If you don’t know what/who the Oatmeal is, you’ll be glad you spent some time there) ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115/38 "2010-07-12T06:44:00Z")
Wait, this guy is 150 years old but attends high school? Leaving aside the forged documents and such, why would you bother? What a waste of time. Then we move on to the idea that someone with this kind of life experience wants to snuggle a girl who basically doesn’t even know who she is yet. I’ve met some mature teens, but it’s still too far a reach, and this one sounds like a bit of a mess. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115/39 "2010-07-12T06:45:48Z")
> [@Cardinal](#): > > Wait, this guy is 150 years old but attends high school? Leaving aside the forged documents and such, why would you bother? What a waste of time. > > Then we move on to the idea that someone with this kind of life experience wants to snuggle a girl who basically doesn’t even know who she is yet. I’ve met some mature teens, but it’s still too far a reach, and this one sounds like a bit of a mess. He’s a virgin himself. I couldn’t take a 40-year old virgin seriously. How do you think I feel about a studly 150-year old vampire? ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115/40 "2010-07-12T06:54:56Z")
I _really_ don’t want to read the books. But how does the relative imprintability of everywoman on Bella compare to Harry Potter (or a bajillion other teen and adult books where the hero is an everyman who jusssstt happens to be oh-so-special)? Further, whenever I mention being a bit squicked out that the Doctor kinda had a thing going on with Rose, it doesn’t seem to bother a lot of folks. Er, well, not that I mention it all the time. There was this once, though. Not that big a deal, but again, I don’t particularly care read T’light but not sure how I can differentiate the two situations. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-girls-go-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs-over-the-twilight-vampire-movies-whats-the-hook/546115.md?page=3)