# Why do guys call each other by their last names? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 17, 2003, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245 "2003-04-17T03:51:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DrNick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f6c823/32.png) [@DrNick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrNick)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245/21 "2003-04-17T14:29:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by G. Odoreida \* > \*\*My friends and I don’t actually use surnames vocatively. However it is a proven fact that every single person in Britain between the ages of 15 and 40 has at least one mate called Chris. And another one called Dave. \*\* Uncanny. Interestingly though, my one friend called Chris we call Chas, and one of my friends called Dave is the only person I know that I refer to by his last name. I wouldn’t dream of calling any of my other friends, male or female, by their last name, and if they did it to me I would correct them instantly. ---
**Author:** ![chm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/848f3c/32.png) [@chm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chm)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245/22 "2003-04-17T14:33:16Z")
Hmm, back in my military (reservist) days, we called each other by our last names, even if we weren’t in a military context. It’s just what we were called, and the name we knew for people. If there was a conflict, officially we used the last 3 digits of the service number, so we usually didn’t know even the initials of someone’s name until we got to know them well. It wasn’t a male-female thing, though. ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245/23 "2003-04-17T14:34:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BobT \* > \*\*All I know is that I’m male and I hate that one of my male coworkers calls me by my last name. > > Calling me by my last name sounds so “P.E. coach” like. \*\* You’re not alone. There’s a guy who’s never once used my first name to address me. Next time he calls out my last name I am going to ask him why he does this. As far as I know there is only one other person in our group of about 60 people who shares my first name. Even if there were a dozen other people who share my name it wouldn’t be necessary to distinguish us all by last name if we’re just conversing on a one-on-one basis as is the case wth the co-worker in question. Hell, maybe I’ll start calling _him_ by his last name only just to see how he reacts. I agree that using last names to address people sounds too much like a P.E. coach. When I was in junior high the P.E. coach and some of the students called me only by my last name and I always found it to be annoying. While my last name is certainly nothing to be ashamed of, it just sounded so awkward and unconventional to hear people calling me by my last name. I hated gym class anyway, so this certainly didn’t improve my feelings about the class. ---
**Author:** ![SirRay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@SirRay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SirRay)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245/24 "2003-04-17T15:17:02Z")
Is this kinda of a Commonwealth only thing? 'Cause all the guys I know call each other by their first name, only qualifying it with a last name if there were several and you didn’t know which guy you meant by context… ---
**Author:** ![TelcontarStorm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ab097/32.png) [@TelcontarStorm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TelcontarStorm)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245/25 "2003-04-17T16:18:25Z")
I refered to my Ex by his last name. So as our group of friends grew, so grew the folks who’d refer to him as such. The only reasonable expination I can come up with was this: His first name was the same as his father’s. (Edward) The nickname he’d been given (Bill) is a dimimutive of another name. (William) FWIW It was because his father was known as ‘Goat’ and he was the firstborn…Get it? Billygoat? If I refered to him as Bill, as did his family and some of his friends, I felt as if I was giving the false impression his first name was William. This came home to me when we got married and my father made out our wedding gift check _wrong_. I guess it’s just another variation on the “Get it right” theme. ---
**Author:** ![glilly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/48db29/32.png) [@glilly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glilly)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245/26 "2003-04-18T02:03:36Z")
I’m a guy, and my last name is Lilly. When people call out “Lilly” and I turn around and look, it’s surprising to the uninitiated. ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245/27 "2003-04-18T02:10:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maxxxie \* > \*\*I’m a woman, and I frequently refer to my friends by their last names. But… only my male friends. I would _NEVER_ refer to a woman by her last name. I have no idea why!/B] I’m just the opposite–I call all my female friends by their last names. It’s never Trish or Eileen, it’s “Smith!” or “Astin!” ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245/28 "2003-04-18T02:26:11Z")
**garius** ’ medieval idea made me laugh, but there is some truth to it. When I was researching the tax records of Suffolk in England for the year 1523, I found that about 80-85% of all the males named were either John, Henry, Edward or William. In my HS, everyone called each other by their last names for a spell. Mine stuck. Hence my user name here. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245/29 "2003-04-18T02:27:16Z")
Err…I mean mine stuck as a nickname. Obviously it was my last name before that… ---
**Author:** ![Teebone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Teebone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teebone)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245/30 "2003-04-18T02:41:43Z")
I always thought it was done because they wanted to keep a formal relationship between soldiers and their commanders. Using a first name is too personal and informal. You don’t want that in military because it might perceive the relationship between the troops and commanders on an peer, or equal level and then they would have a harder time keeping the troops in line. Thus, the use of last name keeps the seperation distinct and interactions formal. I guess the same with P.E. coaches…they’re not your buddy, they’re to boss you around! I would guess us guys use it to imitate the ‘manly’ ways of military and P.E. It sounds cool too sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![moejuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@moejuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moejuck)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245/31 "2003-04-18T02:42:42Z")
No idea if this sheds any light on the matter, but what the heck. I teach about 130 students a day. I call many of them by their last names, males and females. It seems to me that any one of my students who has a fairly common last name is a student I often refer to be their last name. If the last name is a tad on the unusual or uncommon side, I almost always use thier first name. I never realized this until reading this post and thinking about it. I do the same thing with my friends upon closer inspection. Unless they happen to have a last name of polish origin, in which case it is pretty hard to pass up yelling out Smolewski across a room full of people. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245/32 "2003-04-18T04:06:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stinkpalm \* > \*\*I despise being called by my last name and will correct anyone immediately if they do it. \*\* Lighten up, Francis. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245/33 "2003-04-18T05:46:17Z")
My guess is that it is tied to the way people are addressed in specific regimented social situations, particularly either the military or more formal schooling. (I suspect that the phys. ed. carryover is from the military, with coaches either having been in the military or wanting to sound as if they were.) I have noticed it most among people who were in the military or who went to college prep schools (or fairly small colleges). My sister calls several of her friends from her college prep high school by their last names, while usually calling her land grant college classmates by their first names (or by odd nicknames). When I was in school (college prep _and_ small college) most of us were known by our last names. (Of course, by the time my class of 39 graduated, there were sixteen Johns and seven Toms, and among the remaining sixteen students were several more multiples–three Mikes, a couple of Als that I remember, maybe some others. Last names were pretty well _required_.) We did have one guy who insisted he never be called by his last name, so we called him a variety of unpleasant epithets, instead. This is no reflection of **stinkpalm** ; our classmate was a jerk. Reading contemporary novels written in the nineteenth century, I note that most students were addressed by their last names as a practice of formality in the classroom–and called each other in the same way outside class. I would guess that the traditions reflected in those novels were typical of those schools in that period and suspect that the practice just carried over to similar schools through the twentieth century. In a like manner, military personnel are called by last name in their formal capacity and I would think that when the sergeant or petty officer was not hollering at a guy using his last name, his cohort simply called each other by the names they heard most often. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245/34 "2003-04-18T06:30:39Z")
I think the tradition got started in the British military. Probably around the time of the First World War. As an example, I submit the following dialog: Capt. Darling: Good luck, Blackadder. Capt. Blackadder: Well, thank you, Darling. And what’s your big job here today? Straightening chairs? Capt. Darling: No, in fact I’m appearing for the prosecution. I wouldn’t raise your hopes too much, you’re guilty as hell, you haven’t got a chance. Capt. Blackadder: Why thank you, Darling. And I hope your mother dies in a freak yachting accident. See what I mean? ---
**Author:** ![Sock\_Munkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Sock\_Munkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sock_Munkey)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245/35 "2003-04-18T12:22:22Z")
I think it’s a hold-over from when men were the primary wage earners and spent a lot of their time in the company of other men who they had to work with but weren’t friends with so a certain amount of formallity was appropriate and it became a habit and eventually an unspoken custom. ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245/36 "2003-04-18T13:04:17Z")
> [@](#): > > a certain amount of formallity was appropriate and it became a habit and eventually an unspoken custom I don’t know- as has been pointed out, there is a distinct _informality_ in addressing someone by the last name without the honoroarium. In my groups, it would likely be considered condescending or rude to call a guy by his last name before you’ve acheived some sort of comfort level with him. There are a lot of interesting theories here. I think it traces back to sports, because that’s where most men learn most of their early social skills. There are likely to be several Mikes, for example, on a given team. Last names are used to avoid confusion. Last names come to signify the bonding and connection of teammates. I’d be interested to know if most women in team sports do the same. Anecdotally, my cousin, who was an accomplished female athlete, called “sports friends” by last names and “casual friends” by first names. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245/37 "2003-04-18T16:11:00Z")
My husband was introduced to me with his last name. I’ve called him by his last name for as long as I’ve known him. Even to his family. That’s just who he is, I guess. He’s also ex-military. I think that may have something to do with it. But his family has a nickname for him anyway, so very few people call him by his first name. ---
**Author:** ![CadburyAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c2a13f/32.png) [@CadburyAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CadburyAngel)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245/38 "2003-04-18T17:54:14Z")
I attend a school which seems to take a certain odd pride in having everyone go by first names: custodians, students, professors, even the various deans. However, the differentiations that we’ve come up with are such that I could understand why the guys would rather go by last names. The girls usually get descriptors like: Pink-haired Claire, Rugby Claire, Tall Claire, etc. The boys get descriptors like: Skeezy Josh, Stoner Josh, Trust-fund Josh, Stank Josh, Vomit Josh, etc. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245/39 "2003-04-18T18:27:03Z")
In the compilation tape “The Secret Policeman’s Ball”, Rowan Atkinson has a hillarious bit about a schoolmaster calling the roll, with any number of absurd names pronounced only as Rowan Atkinson can do it (“Plectrum!”). Great bit. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245/40 "2003-04-18T18:29:43Z")
God, I love the Internet. Here is a piece of it: > [@](#): > > \*\*Right. Quiet. > > Ainsley. Babcock. Bland. Carthorse. Dint. Ellsworth-Beast-Major. Ellsworth-Beast-Minor. Fiat. German. Hemoglobin. Have-a-nut. Jones, M. Jones, N. Cossigan. Loud-haylark. Mattock. Nancyboy-Possum. Nibble. Come on, settle down. Orifice. Plectrum. Poinse. Sediment. Soda. Te. Te? Undermanager. Wicket. Williams-Wicket? Williams-Witcheley. Witcheley-Wicket. Witcheley-Williams. And Witcheley-Williams-Wocket. Zob. Absent.\*\* [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-call-each-other-by-their-last-names/169245.md?page=3)