# Why do guys keep asking me to marry them? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 20, 2004, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720 "2004-12-20T02:00:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Typically\_Sunday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Typically\_Sunday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typically_Sunday)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/1 "2004-12-20T02:00:49Z")
In the past month or so, I’ve recieved two marriage proposals. Note that I am not dating either of these guys, or have even spent any real amount of time hanging out with them outside of the classes I have with them. I don’t even know them well enough to be able to take it as a joke, its just kind of awkward and weird. Why the hell would you propose to someone instead of just asking them out for coffee or something? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/2 "2004-12-20T02:09:02Z")
Marriage is a wonderful icebreaker. Marry someone, and before you know it, you’re calling each other by your first names, drinking out of the same glass and maybe even holding hands. 🙂 Probably a case of desperation Email tactics applied socially. Ask 1000 women, and one is bound to say yes, right? Just look out for the ones who come on with the story about the eccentric Grandma who just died and he inherits only if he’s married by the end of the week, due to the provisions of the will. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/3 "2004-12-20T02:18:35Z")
I knew a guy who proposed to virtually every girl he met. Certainly he proposed by the first date. One girl said yes–she was a serial engager–and called off the wedding two weeks ahead of time, as was her habit. One girl said yes and married him. She thought it was really romantic, or something. It lasted less than 18 months. But it was a sort-of successful tactic, I guess. Ask enough girls and one or two will eventually say yes. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/4 "2004-12-20T03:05:43Z")
Dunno, but don’t expect it to stop any time soon. My grandmother got a marriage proposal from a man who had also proposed to two of her friends in the previous month. (He was almost ninety at the time and recently widowed; she was eighty-two.) I think he did find someone who said yes eventually. Some people really want to be married, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/5 "2004-12-20T03:09:54Z")
Are we not supposed to do that? ---
**Author:** ![joemama24\_98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ce7236/32.png) [@joemama24\_98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joemama24_98)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/6 "2004-12-20T03:17:43Z")
…I worked with a girl once that I thought was “all that.” We were only acquaintences, but one day she looked especially yummy, and I jokingly asked her to marry me. That led to a date, which led to a kiss, which led to a romance, which led to a marriage 2 years later. We’ll be celebrating 5 years next September. As a pickup line, I can personally attest that it works 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/7 "2004-12-20T05:00:11Z")
I met this girl at a bar once (I was young) we got to talking. Or to be more specific; my group of friends started talking with _her_ group of friends. Sometime durring the night the girl I was talking to said something to the effect of: “This bar sucks! I’m bored, Hey! let’s all go to a titty bar!!” I immediately asked her to marry me. (Jockingly) ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/8 "2004-12-20T05:49:55Z")
So **Typically Sunday** How YOU doin? Wanna get married? ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/9 "2004-12-20T06:22:26Z")
Is your name Christmas? If so, I think they’re just wishing you a happy holiday. ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/10 "2004-12-20T06:26:08Z")
Are any of these men disgraced Nigerian generals? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/11 "2004-12-20T06:48:15Z")
> [@Typically Sunday](#): > > Why the hell would you propose to someone instead of just asking them out for coffee or something? 😕 You… you _complete me_! ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/12 "2004-12-20T07:35:05Z")
> [@Fretful Porpentine](#): > > Dunno, but don’t expect it to stop any time soon. My grandmother got a marriage proposal from a man who had also proposed to two of her friends in the previous month. (He was almost ninety at the time and recently widowed; she was eighty-two.) I think he did find someone who said yes eventually. > > Some people really want to be married, I guess. Well, to be fair, the gentleman was operating under time constraints that **Typically Sunday’s** beaus are not (I hope). ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/13 "2004-12-20T08:21:01Z")
> [@Fretful Porpentine](#): > > My grandmother got a marriage proposal from a man who had also proposed to two of her friends in the previous month. … I think he did find someone who said yes eventually. I knew a guy who did that! I was actually the one who said yes. But I insisted we wait five years until the wedding, as I thought that nine was a much better age for marriage than four. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/14 "2004-12-20T14:17:21Z")
> [@Typically Sunday](#): > > Why the hell would you propose to someone instead of just asking them out for coffee or something? Did they follow up with a smaller dating request? Social psychologists have found that asking for outrageous requests guaranteed to fail before the reasonable request often make the easier request to obtain. Or it could just be that you’re fantastic. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/15 "2004-12-20T14:21:40Z")
What’s great about if she accepts is that it’s your wedding night, and your gettin’ some strange at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/16 "2004-12-20T14:33:00Z")
> [@js\_africanus](#): > > Did they follow up with a smaller dating request? Social psychologists have found that asking for outrageous requests guaranteed to fail before the reasonable request often make the easier request to obtain. > > Or it could just be that you’re fantastic. Brilliant, I just remembered that little trick from the book Influence. “Well if you wont marry me, will you go out for coffee instead” I have a new pickup line. Should I wear a bowtie while I say it? ---
**Author:** ![archmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@archmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/archmichael)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/17 "2004-12-20T15:44:02Z")
I looked through you past posts to see what sort of public persona you have. Nothing flagrant there, but who knows what your doing in Real Life. My thought was that you are saying outrageous stuff that guys just dig. The following have been known to elicite online marriage proposals: - Post on message boards that you love giving blowjob? - Mention how cold it is, and that you really should have worn panties? - Mention that a great day would playing HALO 2 or World of Warcraft all day with your boyfriend. Oh, wearing only lingerie. - Your idea of a proper menage-a-trois is MFF. - “Who’s up for Japanese rope bondage?” But of course, YMMV ---
**Author:** ![Shrinking\_Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Shrinking\_Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shrinking_Violet)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/18 "2004-12-20T15:58:39Z")
The first I knew of my future hubby’s existence on this planet was a letter asking me to marry him. I filed it under “weirdo” and forgot about it. About a month later he called me - and explained he had seen my photo in a mutual friend’s album and \*just knew \* I was the girl for him. She gave him my address, but it had taken him a month to wheedle my phone number out of her. We met, two years later we married … and there followed 15 years of total bliss, 5 years of not-so-total bliss, 3 years of separation and soon-to-be finalised divorce! Phew! Don’t regret any of it though, and we’re still good friends. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/19 "2004-12-20T16:00:11Z")
> [@Wesley Clark](#): > > “Well if you wont marry me, will you go out for coffee instead” Try it for getting a raise. “Will you marry me? How about a raise?” ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/20 "2004-12-20T16:13:24Z")
> [@js\_africanus](#): > > Try it for getting a raise. “Will you marry me? How about a raise?” The reverse trick works too where instead of asking for a huge favor then bargaining down to a smaller one (reciprocation) you ask for a tiny favor then a few days/weeks later ask for a bigger one (consistency). Did you read the same book i’m thinking of (Influence)? Do you remember when they asked people to put up tiny stickers in their windows, then a week or two later asked two groups of people to put up huge signs in their yards and those who agreed to the stickers agreed to the signs 3x as much as those who never had stickers to begin with? Hell, these 2 tricks sound like they could be really useful in life. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720.md?page=2)