# Why do guys keep asking me to marry them? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 20, 2004, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720 "2004-12-20T02:00:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Typically\_Sunday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Typically\_Sunday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typically_Sunday)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/21 "2004-12-20T16:54:42Z")
> [@Wesley Clark](#): > > The reverse trick works too where instead of asking for a huge favor then bargaining down to a smaller one (reciprocation) you ask for a tiny favor then a few days/weeks later ask for a bigger one (consistency). I think I might have ruined the effect by agreeing to marry the first guy and telling the second guy I promised someone else I was going to marry him. It was the heat of the moment, I didn’t know what I was doing! Fortunately, he hasn’t followed up with any requests to take a midnight drive to Vegas or anything. But still, you’d think that since I agreed to marry him, he’d figure I’d be willing to go on a date with him too. ---
**Author:** ![Fanny\_May](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3be4f8/32.png) [@Fanny\_May](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fanny_May)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/22 "2004-12-20T16:59:16Z")
“Marry in haste, repent in liesure” ~ _Ben Franklin_ ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/23 "2004-12-20T17:01:14Z")
It is well known that some males are rather shallow and are simply strongly attracted to young beautiful females. Oh by the way: - how old are you? - have you got a picture handy? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/24 "2004-12-20T17:16:20Z")
> [@Wesley Clark](#): > > Did you read the same book i’m thinking of (Influence)? Nope—I learned it in a social psych. class. My favorite line from the textbook—having to do w/ the availability hueristic—is: “It’s true that one can lie with statistics; however it is much easier to lie with a few well-chosen examples.” Heh. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/25 "2004-12-20T17:27:04Z")
You say “Note that I am not dating either of these guys, or have even spent any real amount of time hanging out with them outside of the classes I have with them. I don’t even know them well enough to be able to take it as a joke…” Did they knock you up? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/26 "2004-12-20T17:53:34Z")
When you think about it, it’s a fairly logical result of abstinence-only sex education. Young men going off to college and trying to marry every girl they see. Bars which are nothing but marriage markets, where guys try to talk girls in marrying on the first date. Spontaneous weddings at frat parties, in the backseats of cars, in the bushes. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/27 "2004-12-20T18:36:03Z")
> [@archmichael](#): > > The following have been known to elicite online marriage proposals IIRC particularly heinous crimes and highly publicized trials also result in a lot of unsolicited marriage proposals. ---
**Author:** ![Rashak\_Mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/28 "2004-12-20T20:03:44Z")
> [@glee](#): > > It is well known that some males are rather shallow and are simply strongly attracted to young beautiful females. > > Oh by the way: > > - how old are you? > - have you got a picture handy? I second this request ! ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/29 "2004-12-21T00:13:50Z")
It’s the result of speed-dating and other hurry-up trends. In 5 years, if you’re still single, total strangers will be telling you it’s over, and they’re divorcing you. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/30 "2004-12-21T00:35:00Z")
> [@js\_africanus](#): > > “It’s true that one can lie with statistics; however it is much easier to lie with a few well-chosen examples.” Such as…? ---
**Author:** ![Typically\_Sunday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Typically\_Sunday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typically_Sunday)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/31 "2004-12-21T01:57:11Z")
Well, I guess this way I don’t have to waste the best years of my life trying to find a good husband and can just concentrate on dating (I was offered an open marriage). And I’m 17 with no pictures handy, sorry. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/32 "2004-12-21T02:03:10Z")
Scrawled on a men’s bathroom stall: FOR A GOOD TIME, CALL (Always on Monday’s phone #) HARDER TO GET, MAY TAKE A WEDDING (Typically Sunday’s phone #) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/33 "2004-12-21T02:24:24Z")
I’m guessing you have a FANTASTIC rack. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/34 "2004-12-21T02:45:24Z")
> [@Typically Sunday](#): > > Why the hell would you propose to someone instead of just asking them out for coffee or something? That way they don’t have to buy you coffee. ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/35 "2004-12-21T05:23:31Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > When you think about it, it’s a fairly logical result of abstinence-only sex education. Young men going off to college and trying to marry every girl they see. [Ferris Bueller] Cameron has never been in love - at least, nobody’s ever been in love with him. If things don’t change for him, he’s gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she’s gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won’t respect him, 'cause you can’t respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn’t work. [/Ferris Bueller] ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/36 "2004-12-21T14:00:03Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > Such as…? Such as the fear of flying as opposed to a fear of driving. Here’s an example: oldweb.uwp.edu/academic/psychology/demos/UTICdemo/UTICdemo.html ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/37 "2004-12-21T14:19:31Z")
At a wedding reception, I employed such a tactic. Whilst flirting with one of the bridesmaids, we encountered a brief awkward pause. I kiddingly responded with, “Once we’re married, these awkward pauses won’t be so uncomfortable.” It seemed to work pretty well, we dated for a few months afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/38 "2004-12-21T15:11:37Z")
> [@archmichael](#): > > The following have been known to elicite online marriage proposals: > > - Post on message boards that you love giving blowjob **s**? > - Mention how cold it is, and that you really should have worn panties? > - Mention that a great day would playing HALO 2 or World of Warcraft all day with your boyfriend. Oh, wearing only lingerie. **In one of your 5 mansions**. > - Your idea of a proper menage-a-trois is MFF. **In France. And you’re even up for watching while two other females make a ‘me’ sandwich.** > - “Who’s up for Japanese rope bondage?” (my additions in bold) ---
**Author:** ![audiobottle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@audiobottle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audiobottle)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/39 "2004-12-21T15:14:44Z")
Is it possible that you’re actually living in a sitcom pilot, and these guys are illegally staying in the US and are trying to marry you so that they can live here and over the course of the next several years (or however long the ratings are good) you will experience all sorts of crazy hijinks involving your mismatched cultural ideas, your “marriage” getting in the way of your developing a relationship with the guy you really want but in reality is a jerk and finally by the end of the show, ahem, life, i mean… whatever, you will realize how much you’ve grown and how much it is due to this guy but by then he’ll have gone back to his own country and you’ll have to race to the airport to find him and it’ll be too late… or is it? ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720/40 "2004-12-21T21:08:54Z")
> [@elfbabe](#): > > I knew a guy who did that! I was actually the one who said yes. But I insisted we wait five years until the wedding, as I thought that nine was a much better age for marriage than four. I was 8 when a classmate left a bouquet and a marriage proposal (written on an index card) at my doorstep. I did not say yes, as I was still in the stage where I thought boys were icky. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-guys-keep-asking-me-to-marry-them/280720.md?page=3)