# Why do I constantly slam Wally? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 11, 2000, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031 "2000-06-11T14:44:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2000, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031/1 "2000-06-11T14:44:58Z")
He must either be: 1. The world greatest straight-man. 2. The easiest kid to pick on in three playground. 3. The poster with the most unintentional double entendres. 4. Canadian with a crappy motorcycle. Which ever, it doesn’t seem as if I can get though an hour here without giving it to him up the ass… sideways. Note to Wally: Use the quote function, repost the above sentence and add a snappy retort and you too can post like me. It’s a simple formula, really. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2000, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031/2 "2000-06-11T14:50:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > . . . it doesn’t seem as if I can get though an hour here without giving it to him up the ass… sideways. > \*\* You want him, Chief, admit it. It’s like the little boy in the playground who pulls the cute girl’s ponytail cuz he doesn’t know how else to express his feelings for her. The above statement you made gave it all away. You love Wally! ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2000, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031/3 "2000-06-11T14:51:44Z")
I figured it’s just cause he’s in the Navy. ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2000, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031/4 "2000-06-11T14:53:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > Which ever, it doesn’t seem as if I can get though an hour here without giving it to him up the ass… sideways. > > \*\* You’ve been on that ship with all those men for way too long Chiefy!! ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2000, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031/5 "2000-06-11T15:00:15Z")
Seems like you have a wee bit too much time on your hands, Chief. Or would that be…Oops! Sorry. I won’t go there. \ Actually, I’d say #5. All of the above. Need any more hugs? I’ve got plenty more, and they’re free! ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2000, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031/6 "2000-06-11T15:03:17Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. The world greatest straight-man. > > 2. The easiest kid to pick on in three playground. > > 3. The poster with the most unintentional double entendres. > > 4. Canadian with a crappy motorcycle It’s too late to apologize, Chief. 1. I vaccilate between straight and bent. You know that. 2. Wrong. I have a black belt in marital arts. 3. All my entendres are intentional. Even the ones that are not. 4. There’s nothing wrong with my bike. Okay, there’s something wrong a little bit. But I’m working on it, and when it purrs like a kitten, don’t ask me for a ride. 5. Oh, there is no 5. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2000, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031/7 "2000-06-11T15:13:02Z")
Wally and Chiefy, sittin’ in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G… You guys really are a cute couple! ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2000, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031/9 "2000-06-11T15:34:19Z")
Shouldn’t this be moved to the [unrequited love thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=26773)? ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031/10 "2000-06-12T01:51:28Z")
“Why do I constantly slam Wally?” Uh, because he killed your favorite “felching” gerbil??? ::ducking and running:: ---
**Author:** ![Rescind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rescind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rescind)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031/11 "2000-06-12T02:18:13Z")
A black belt in **marital** arts? I ph34r. Heartily. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031/12 "2000-06-12T02:51:21Z")
Because, like Everest, Wally’s _there_ and too tempting to ignore. Because you two are Martin and Lewis, Abbott and Costello, the Lone Ranger and Tonto, bubble and squeak, The Smothers Brothers, ham and eggs, baseball and cold beer, chips and dip, Orville and Wilbur, Butch and Sundance, oil and vinegar… Oh, hell, the two of you in interaction are here to amuse the rest of us. Which you do in stellar fashion. Carry on, gentlemen. (A pointless instruction if there ever was one.) Veb ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031/13 "2000-06-12T03:04:59Z")
> [@](#): > > Why do I constantly slam Wally? Well, I’d say it’s the name. When his parents named him Wally it was rather like putting a “Kick Me” sign on his back. Sadistic bastards. No wonder he had to learn karate. ---
**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031/14 "2000-06-12T04:09:21Z")
Wally’s Canadian? Why am I always the last to know? Next you’ll be telling me Amy is his daughter. She IS? And I suppose he’s not secretly in love with me either. Damn. ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031/15 "2000-06-12T04:15:18Z")
Since when is karate a _marital_ art? ~~Baloo ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031/16 "2000-06-12T04:41:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Since when is karate a _marital_ art? > > ~~Baloo > \*\* When you’ve lost last week’s grocery money thinking that the guys you were playing poker with aren’t as good as you. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031/17 "2000-06-12T08:15:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > With the right job, you can get a tan and meet really nice people. > \*\* \*\* ROFLMAO ! \*\* Yeah Chief, if you would just get out some, maybe take a cruise or something. Please don’t hurt me , I just couldn’t resist Chief. DD Davin, you might want to read a few of ChiefScott’s post. Still ROFLMAO ! ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031/18 "2000-06-13T00:25:42Z")
I love making the Lioness purr! ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031/19 "2000-06-13T01:07:35Z")
I’m glad someone caught the “marital arts” thing. It’s not funny if no one notices. Incidentally, my daughter has a black belt in shopping. ---
**Author:** ![Rescind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rescind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rescind)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031/20 "2000-06-13T02:01:21Z")
Yeah. Uh-huh. _sounds the **Wally Made A Mistake And Is Trying To Cover It Up Alarm** _ 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![HomeSlice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/9d8465/32.png) [@HomeSlice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HomeSlice)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031/21 "2000-06-13T02:38:57Z")
Thar be Canadians on this BB? They arent contagious, are they? 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-constantly-slam-wally/22031.md?page=2)