# Why do I like near western men? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 3, 2002, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221 "2002-12-03T15:19:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221/41 "2002-12-03T23:53:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auntie em \* > **Likewise, does the fella I’m dating now get license to start sporting the “Black Women Turn Me On” T-shirt, despite his rabid aversion to Star Jones?** Well, actually, I think the poor guy does. (And I mean “poor” as in “I can’t believe he doesn’t own a shirt like that!”) Just because someone feels that Black women (or Asian or Mensa or, you know, Straight Dope Posters) gets his rooster crowing, doesn’t mean that a few members of that admired group can’t be singled out for a big bowl of “Yech!” (Star Jones–for both convenience and truth’s sake–being a prime example.) Exceptions happen, I feel, no matter the stated generalization. Sure, sweeping comments can lead to, as you mentioned, unintended stereotypes, but that doesn’t mean the stereotypes are inherently immoral. At the worst (hopefully) in a case like this, the sweeping comment serves mainly as a time-saver or a device for the economy of words. (At the best, maybe he _does_ like all Black women–old, eye patch and all.) For example, a man may say aloud that he prefers Asian women, yet purposely omits that he doesn’t find attractive the (largely) shared physical traits of a particular Asian subset. He may enjoy grooving to the sight of Chinese, Thai, Japanese, Korean and Filipino women, but politely says “No thanks” to the Vietnamese. That generalization (“I like Asian women”) is easier (and much more convenient) to say than “I like these groups of Asian women, but prefer to not date these groups…” This doesn’t make him a racist, nor does it reveal a latent ignorance of the fact that not all Asian women are the same. All it does it save him the time of pointing out the many, many exceptions which probably exist in tangent with his stated preference. Moreover, I feel that the above case is similar to someone saying, “I want me a smart chick!” Not ALL intelligent women will ignite his pilot light, true, but intelligence is definitely a trait he’s looking for. In addition, he doesn’t describe (nor should he have to do so, I feel) what _level_ of intelligence he would like her to have. He pretty much just lumps all intelligent women in a group for the sake of convenience. Of course, in either case, I do concede that it’s probably better to at least add a qualifier to the statement. Maybe saying “I like _most_ such-and-such women!” is a tad truer to the full details than what you usually get. Me? Hell, I just go after the “exotic” (Ahem!) women who initially think I’m gay. Then, when their heterosexual shield is down, I strike! (Then they kick me in the balls, I cry, they feel sorry for me, agree to a date and we live happily ever after. Or we will once our dogs-who-don’t-ever-stop-peeing-on-furniture go away and never come back.) ---
**Author:** ![glarGH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/76d3ee/32.png) [@glarGH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glarGH)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221/42 "2002-12-04T00:09:29Z")
\ mmmmm… Western men… Oh those pretty light colored eyes, those long noses, the pasty white flesh! SIGH! Curls and blondness a definite plus. and the fuzziness. \ FTR, I am an Asian woman and white boys make me all melty. Plus they’re not traditionalist sticks in the mud or umm… give me the “dude that looks like your brother” vibe. ---
**Author:** ![Forbin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5e9695/32.png) [@Forbin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Forbin)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221/43 "2002-12-04T02:13:53Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by CRorex \* \*\*Ryan\_Laim:\> I like asian women! Others:\> Us too! Ryan\_Laim:\> I like their skin, facial structure and everything else. I also like their smaller breasts! Istara:\> Ryan\_Laim: you RACIST FUCK! \*\* I am seeing this thread in pretty much the same way CRorex mentions here. I think the OP of the thread in question sort of comes off immature perhaps, but seems like a decent guy. **auntie em** brings up some good points too. What I _can’t_ see is why you have a problem with it **istara**. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221/44 "2002-12-04T08:38:41Z")
First of all, what **auntie em** said. Beyond that… Well, race/ethnicity is a characteristic. Suppose you work with a tall, skinny black guy and a tall skinny white guy. They are otherwise not much different in appearance (both with short hair, neither with facial hair, body art and so on), and you have to identify one of them to someone else. You can’t just say, “The tall, skinny guy”, because then they’ll say “Which one?” The thoughtful thing to do would be to say, “The tall, skinny guy in the red shirt”, but if you haven’t seen him yet that day and you don’t _know_ he’s wearing a red shirt, you just have to fall back on “The tall, skinny white guy.” One of my favorite films is [**Mediterraneo**](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0102426). After I saw it, I was describing it to someone. “There are these Italian soldiers in WWII…they’re on a Greek island, yadda yadda…and then this really hot Turkish guy shows up—” “That’s what you like? Middle Eastern guys?” (This was in 1992, so he said it only with curiosity, not horror.) “No, I just thought this particular guy was hot. The point of saying he was Turkish is that when he showed up, the Italians didn’t remember if Turkey was allied with them.” Again, that was just an identifier; I thought he was hot because…he was! Not because he was Turkish. I also think [Michael Beach](http://us.imdb.com/Name?Beach,+Michael) is hot, but that doesn’t mean I go for all black guys either. Basically I just like guys with good bone structure and nice teeth [mmm…David Patrick Kelly…mmm…]. ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221/45 "2002-12-04T08:58:32Z")
I’m not as bothered by **Ryan\_Liam’s** post - which I find immature rather than racist - as I am by **Surreal’s** post. I found that really disturbing. I really don’t think these boards are the appropriate place for people to discuss fetishes of how much younger/slimmer/feminine “Asian” women or any humans are. There are websites and messageboards for that sort of crap. If I had posted the above in genuine intent: “I prefer white men because black men have broad, flat noses” - would you guys really have found that acceptable? I am sorry, but as a woman, a non-Asian woman, and human being, I found the subject matter and posts within the thread offensive and appalling and irrelevant. ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221/46 "2002-12-04T10:59:19Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Forbin \* \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CRorex \* > \*\*Ryan\_Laim:\> I like asian women! > > Others:\> Us too! > > Ryan\_Laim:\> I like their skin, facial structure and everything else. I also like their smaller breasts! > > Istara:\> Ryan\_Laim: you RACIST FUCK! > \*\* > > I am seeing this thread in pretty much the same way CRorex mentions here. I think the OP of the thread in question sort of comes off immature perhaps, but seems like a decent guy. > > **auntie em** brings up some good points too. > > What I _can’t_ see is why you have a problem with it **istara**. \*\* I never said that, someone else did oh, and it’s Ryan\_Liam. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221/47 "2002-12-04T14:33:49Z")
Liam, do you think you could relax slightly on the 3 threads a day or so you start? I know you are eager and all, and it’s all good, but you don’t need to start so many threads. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ouisey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9fc29f/32.png) [@ouisey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouisey)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221/48 "2002-12-04T15:07:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by belladonna \* > \*\*Frankly, I found **Surreal** ’s comments much more cringe-worthy than anything **Ryan** said. Why? Because while he was talking about his _personal_ preferences, he couched them in terms of absolute truths. Asian women have “better skin, better hair, better figures” blah blah blah. > Better than who? Why–all us fat, frizzy white girls with spotty complexions apparently. It may not have been how he meant it to come across, but that’s the way I read it and it did sting a bit. \*\* Same:) I lack that important epicanthic fold, but apparently my big noggin makes me beautiful. Who knew? ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221/49 "2002-12-04T17:31:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\*Liam, do you think you could relax slightly on the 3 threads a day or so you start? > > I know you are eager and all, and it’s all good, but you don’t need to start so many threads. > > 😉 \*\* Well, lack of cigs and a lot of free time doesn’t help either. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221/50 "2002-12-04T18:20:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by glarGH \* > \*\*mmmmm… Western men… Oh those pretty light colored eyes, those long noses, the pasty white flesh! SIGH! Curls and blondness a definite plus. \*\* White boys are so pretty Skin as smooth as milk White boys are so pretty Hair like Chinese silk… White boys are so sexy Legs so long and lean Love those sprayed-on trousers Love the love machine… My brother calls 'em rubble That’s my kind of trouble My daddy warns me “no no no” But I say “White boys go go go” White boys are so lovely Beautiful as girls I love to run my fingers And toes through all their curls Give me a tall A lean A sexy A sweet A pretty A juicy White boy – from Rado/Ragni; HAIR (1966) ---
**Author:** ![Algernon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Algernon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algernon)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221/51 "2002-12-04T20:06:33Z")
You know, I once considered posting an MPSIMS OP something like this… “I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have been able to do a fair amount of traveling. East to west, north to south in the US. England, Germany, Central America, Caribbean, India, New Zealand, Japan, China. And while there are gorgeous women everywhere I’ve visited, the location that by far has the greatest percentage of beautiful women was China. YMMV.” I now wonder if that would’ve gotten me into the kind of trouble **Ryan\_Liam** has found himself. ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221/52 "2002-12-04T20:15:47Z")
Ryan\_Liam: Sorry about the typo in the name. As for the other, sorry I thought you said it. ---
**Author:** ![ratty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ccd318/32.png) [@ratty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratty)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221/53 "2002-12-04T20:38:46Z")
I replied in the original thread, and I stand by my words. If you are attracted to Asian women just because you like the way they look, that’s your choice and I don’t see anything racist about that. What I find racist and obnoxious is this prevalent stereotyping of Asian woman as being “China dolls”: petite, soft-spoken, submissive, and ‘exotic’. **Delphica** expressed this far better than I ever could. They seem ‘exotic’ to **Ryan\_Liam** only because they are physically different from him and from the majority of women he sees around him everyday. (He lists the UK as his location.) This does not take into account the fact that these women consider themselves perfectly normal and in no way ‘exotic’. Quite frankly, I have trouble seeing any other human being as exotic; we’re all just a little too similar for that sort of comparison. I find that many men have this view of Asian women, and it is this which attracts them. And the whole tone of the original OP came across as stupid, immature, and sexist as well. Let us not forget that **Ryan\_Liam** recently started (yet another) thread about one’s first sexual experiences, in which he (once again) asked for advice. (If somebody wants to link to this thread, please do- I always screw up my coding, and the board is kind of busy to do a search right now.) Our friend **Ryan** seems to do an inordinate amount of thinking, talking, and indeed, asking complete strangers about sex and sexual preferences. Now he wants to know how to bag an Asian chick. Presumably so can finally put all the great advice he got in his first-time thread to use. And I’ll say as well that there is nothing wrong with preferring certain physical characteristics over others; we all do it, whether consciously or not. But to actively seek out only those people who conform to your ideals, and to treat them solely as specimens of that ideal is just…it’s disgusting, really. Are you buying livestock? Is this some auction? Do check the teeth of prospective mates and have them dance to test their agility? Our relationships with other people stand or fall based on the personalities and the behaviors of the people involved- their physical appearance, while perhaps an initial attractant, is not what will decide the strength of a relationship, nor will it be what allows it to endure. We’re attracted to people with certain physical features; we love people with certain personalities. I hope that when **Ryan\_Liam** grows up, he’ll understand this. Although based on the attitudes of many adults, I fear he never will. And while I’m at it, **Ryan** , I’ll leave you with some advice: “It’s better to keep silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221/54 "2002-12-04T21:16:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ukulele Ike \* > \*\*White boys are so pretty > Skin as smooth as milk > White boys are so pretty > Hair like Chinese silk… > > White boys are so sexy > Legs so long and lean > Love those sprayed-on trousers > Love the love machine… > > My brother calls 'em rubble > That’s my kind of trouble > My daddy warns me “no no no” > But I say “White boys go go go” > > White boys are so lovely > Beautiful as girls > I love to run my fingers > And toes through all their curls > > Give me a tall > A lean > A sexy > A sweet > A pretty > A juicy > White boy > > – from Rado/Ragni; HAIR (1966) \*\* Hey, now! How about a little equality here? Black boys are delicious Chocolate flavored love Licorice lips like candy I keep my cocoa handy I have such a sweet tooth when it cooooomes to loooooove… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221/55 "2002-12-04T21:26:23Z")
I dig the black girls, oh so much more than the white girls I was so pleased to learn they were faster. C’est, c’est, c’est vous I’m after. All comes a faggot white boy. Said look, look, look first kind of joy. They come around so queer and quiet, as I rebel and riot. Shall I dig the white boys? All so much more that the black boys. I was so pleased to learn they’re not smarter. Go on, give, give, give it to me harder, harder, harder, just say harder. Well, I don’t quite agree with that. My SO is Japanese. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221/56 "2002-12-04T22:18:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ratty \* > \*\*I replied in the original thread, and I stand by my words. If you are attracted to Asian women just because you like the way they look, that’s your choice and I don’t see anything racist about that. > > What I find racist and obnoxious is this prevalent stereotyping of Asian woman as being “China dolls”: petite, soft-spoken, submissive, and ‘exotic’. **Delphica** expressed this far better than I ever could. They seem ‘exotic’ to **Ryan\_Liam** only because they are physically different from him and from the majority of women he sees around him everyday. (He lists the UK as his location.) This does not take into account the fact that these women consider themselves perfectly normal and in no way ‘exotic’. Quite frankly, I have trouble seeing any other human being as exotic; we’re all just a little too similar for that sort of comparison. > > I find that many men have this view of Asian women, and it is this which attracts them. And the whole tone of the original OP came across as stupid, immature, and sexist as well. Let us not forget that **Ryan\_Liam** recently started (yet another) thread about one’s first sexual experiences, in which he (once again) asked for advice. (If somebody wants to link to this thread, please do- I always screw up my coding, and the board is kind of busy to do a search right now.) Our friend **Ryan** seems to do an inordinate amount of thinking, talking, and indeed, asking complete strangers about sex and sexual preferences. Now he wants to know how to bag an Asian chick. Presumably so can finally put all the great advice he got in his first-time thread to use. > > And I’ll say as well that there is nothing wrong with preferring certain physical characteristics over others; we all do it, whether consciously or not. But to actively seek out only those people who conform to your ideals, and to treat them solely as specimens of that ideal is just…it’s disgusting, really. Are you buying livestock? Is this some auction? Do check the teeth of prospective mates and have them dance to test their agility? Our relationships with other people stand or fall based on the personalities and the behaviors of the people involved- their physical appearance, while perhaps an initial attractant, is not what will decide the strength of a relationship, nor will it be what allows it to endure. We’re attracted to people with certain physical features; we love people with certain personalities. I hope that when **Ryan\_Liam** grows up, he’ll understand this. Although based on the attitudes of many adults, I fear he never will. > > And while I’m at it, **Ryan** , I’ll leave you with some advice: “It’s better to keep silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” \*\* Would you say the same thing if an Asian woman wanted to ‘bag’ me? And besides, I never said I was out to trawl in an Asian woman, I just said that most of them (I think) are hot and I find a alot of them very attractive in my opinion, more than I 'm attracted to White women. Oh, and about the Sex thread, that was unrelated to this topic, because you see, I started another thread about it. What next? ‘How talking to yourself makes Asians hot?’ Hey I’m a faceless Individual, so I can ask complete strangers about sex without embarassment… ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221/57 "2002-12-04T22:43:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ukulele Ike \* > \*\*White boys are so pretty > Skin as smooth as milk > White boys are so pretty > Hair like Chinese silk… > > – from Rado/Ragni; HAIR (1966) \*\* \*Well East coast girls are hip I really dig those styles they wear And the Southern girls with the way they talk They knock me out when I’m down there The Mid-West farmer’s daughters really make you feel alright And the Northern girls with the way they kiss They keep their boyfriends warm at night I wish they all could be California I wish they all could be California I wish they all could be California girls \* The Beach Boys Fenris ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221/58 "2002-12-04T22:48:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by istara \* > \*\*They only beauty category that Western men are not superior in is penis size. I’m not really a penis-woman, so that doesn’t matter to me. \*\* You must be very popular.😃 ---
**Author:** ![ouisey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9fc29f/32.png) [@ouisey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouisey)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221/59 "2002-12-05T04:09:53Z")
For all those who think that Asian women are meek/subservient/quiet… [http://www.straitstimes.asia1.com.sg/singapore/story/0,4386,158828,00.html](http://www.straitstimes.asia1.com.sg/singapore/story/0,4386,158828,00.html)? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-like-near-western-men/140221.md?page=2)