# Why Do I Often Take the Opposing Side? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 2, 2003, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-often-take-the-opposing-side/185884 "2003-07-02T22:49:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/71c47a/32.png) [@Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sat_on_Cookie)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-often-take-the-opposing-side/185884/1 "2003-07-02T22:49:16Z")
It’s been pointed out to me that I do this. I think it’s an accurate criticism. I don’t think of myself as a black cloud or anything, but I do find myself taking an opposing stance for no reason at times. Almost automatically. Why? Does anyone else do this? Is it a control issue? ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-often-take-the-opposing-side/185884/2 "2003-07-02T23:12:40Z")
I do this a lot with Mr. Maureen. If he says “green,” I’m sure to say “blue.” And vice versa. We both enjoy playing “mental chess.” I don’t see it as a control issue, as we both know we’re doing it. It’s just fun to debate with someone intelligent. Especially if you happen to take the side you disagree with. I would advise that you find a specific person who likes to argue as much as you do, though. Some people get offended by the necessity of defending their position, no matter what the position may be. ---
**Author:** ![B.Serum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/b.serum/32/14266_2.png) [@B.Serum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/B.Serum)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-often-take-the-opposing-side/185884/3 "2003-07-03T21:17:45Z")
You’re a contrarian. I can be too. I don’t use it as a control issue. I believe that a situation is best understood when looked at from all sides. If you don’t play the “devil’s advocate” and search for another viewpoint, you may be missing an important part of the situation. That’s why I love the SDMB so much, I’m sure to find plenty of usually intelligent people who have a completely different tach on a topic than I do. I learn from them. I don’t always agree, but I sure walk away feeling more informed than when I started. So to your situation, (depending on your style) I wouldn’t think it’s a criticism, rather a quality worth cultivating. Mark Twain is quoted as saying “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to pause and reflect.” ---
**Author:** ![Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/71c47a/32.png) [@Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sat_on_Cookie)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-often-take-the-opposing-side/185884/4 "2003-07-03T21:25:50Z")
Well, I’d like to think that I’m simply a healthy argumentative type but, after thinking more about this, I know that there are certain situations where I oppose something ONLY because my opinion wasn’t asked. My position on something could be completely different depending on whether or not I was asked what I thought beforehand. I really think it’s a control issue in my case. ---
**Author:** ![Themis00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/13edae/32.png) [@Themis00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Themis00)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-often-take-the-opposing-side/185884/5 "2003-07-03T21:33:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sat on Cookie \* > \*\*Well, I’d like to think that I’m simply a healthy argumentative type but, after thinking more about this, I know that there are certain situations where I oppose something ONLY because my opinion wasn’t asked. My position on something could be completely different depending on whether or not I was asked what I thought beforehand. I really think it’s a control issue in my case. \*\* Yeah it does kind of sound like a control issue in this case. In sales term you all are what we call “mismatchers”. I’m one too. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Trigonal\_Planar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/0ea827/32.png) [@Trigonal\_Planar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trigonal_Planar)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-often-take-the-opposing-side/185884/6 "2003-07-04T02:33:06Z")
I’m guilty of this. I could be called a mismatcher. I often take the other side of an opinion if only because I like to provoke an argument on the topic. Especially if its clear no-one values my opinion on it. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-often-take-the-opposing-side/185884/7 "2003-07-04T02:54:31Z")
**Trigonal Planar** , what you say couldn’t be further from the truth. I value your opinion. You’re just wrong, that’s all. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Zazie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Zazie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zazie)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-often-take-the-opposing-side/185884/8 "2003-07-04T17:12:05Z")
Yep, I do that too. I catch myself doing that. It drives my husband crazy, and myself as well as I see myself turning into my mother… I really think I learned it from her, although I hated it. Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-often-take-the-opposing-side/185884/9 "2003-07-04T17:19:41Z")
My husband is notorious for playing the devil’s advocate…no matter what the subject. News broadcast about missing kid can come on, I’ll say how awful - he’ll say I bet the little girl wasn’t abducted, she ran away with him. He always takes the dark, cynical side of the story. It REALLY sucks when he’s right, which does happen occasionally. I hopefully don’t always take the opposing view all the time on the SDMB - although I am taken aback when I re-visit some of the crap I post late at night! ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-often-take-the-opposing-side/185884/10 "2003-07-04T17:29:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sat on Cookie \* > **It’s been pointed out to me that I do this. I think it’s an accurate criticism. I don’t think of myself as a black cloud or anything, but I do find myself taking an opposing stance for no reason at times. Almost automatically.** Do you really do this? I’m not so sure. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-often-take-the-opposing-side/185884/11 "2003-07-04T20:08:30Z")
Another contrarian chimes in. Although I grew up in Oklahoma, I went to the University of Texas. For some strange reason whenever OU came to town, I found it necessary to cheer for them (as a distinct minority, I might add). However, upon returning to Oklahoma, I would find myself then cheering for Texas, just to be contrarian … ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-often-take-the-opposing-side/185884/12 "2003-07-04T21:03:49Z")
My father is a contrarian and I love the following statements: [ul][quote] I don’t use it as a control issue. [/Quote] Of course, not :rolleyes: > [@](#): > > It REALLY sucks when he’s right, which does happen occasionally. Yeah, that really is a bitch.[/ul] ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-often-take-the-opposing-side/185884/13 "2003-07-04T21:56:19Z")
You’re all wrong. ---
**Author:** ![j.c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/73ab20/32.png) [@j.c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j.c)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-often-take-the-opposing-side/185884/14 "2003-07-05T01:07:57Z")
What do you mean, exactly? I often, especially at work, play the devil advocate because when the group has to address that position, we are forced to reexamine the assumptions and information we’re working with. With friends, I, gently, take the other-side of the issue just so they can understand what the world looks like to their mom/boyfriend/boss/doctor/neighbor. I do this even when it smells like the friend is entirely in the right, because when it’s easier to plan a successful next move if you understand who you are dealing with. For instance, a friend of mine who is, at this point, in danger of some nasty stuff thanks to her poor handling of her Type II diabetes, always complains that her doctor includes the phrase “you should think about losing weight” in every visit. I don’t say “Good god, woman! She’s right! Look what you are doing to yourself!!” That would make her angry. What I say is, “Do you think maybe she has some patients who would like weight loss advice, but are a little shy about bringing it up, and she’s just trying to open the door in case a patient wants to discuss it.” Then she has to face the fact that it’s possible, just possible, that sometimes people mention weight loss for a reason other than trying to make fun of her. That’s all the devil’s advocate posture is, a way of widening the scope of a discussion. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-often-take-the-opposing-side/185884/15 "2003-07-05T01:12:21Z")
Many people deliberately take contrary positions to assert dominance or show off their intellect. They often have deep-seated insecurities. And yes, I do generalize much. QtM ---
**Author:** ![Nightime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Nightime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightime)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-often-take-the-opposing-side/185884/16 "2003-07-05T01:21:23Z")
I have to disagree with all of you. People take contrary positions because they want to learn more about a topic, and the best way to learn the arguments for both sides is to start a debate. ---
**Author:** ![5-HT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/f19dbf/32.png) [@5-HT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5-HT)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-often-take-the-opposing-side/185884/17 "2003-07-05T01:30:38Z")
I do that a lot too. I think it’s because my father is a lawyer and so I grew up with a great appreciation and love for arguing. Sometimes I just do it to piss people off too\*. \*I know that would be trolling on this board, I’m talking about IRL. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-often-take-the-opposing-side/185884/18 "2003-07-05T14:36:20Z")
As opposed to taking a contrarian position just for the sake of having a conversation continue, I had a friend who had what I consider to be sure-fire conversation stoppers. He could bring any free-wheeling discussion to a grinding halt with comments like: “Well, in my opinion, which is vastly superior to yours…” “In my experience, which has been quite extensive…” Such potential conversations simply implode.