# Why do I talk to this woman? Better yet, why does she talk to me? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 17, 2003, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-talk-to-this-woman-better-yet-why-does-she-talk-to-me/182502 "2003-06-17T17:07:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-talk-to-this-woman-better-yet-why-does-she-talk-to-me/182502/21 "2003-06-18T05:51:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by j\_kat\_251 \* > \*\*I believe Jack Nicklaus once said: “The funny thing is, the more I practice, the luckier I get”. \*\* I also like, “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.” Haj ---
**Author:** ![Jurhael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@Jurhael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurhael)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-talk-to-this-woman-better-yet-why-does-she-talk-to-me/182502/22 "2003-06-18T06:39:42Z")
“Must be nice to have a message board where you can bitch about the people who annoy you.” Oh, it is! It ROCKS! Hey, it had to be said! AHAHAHAH! ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-talk-to-this-woman-better-yet-why-does-she-talk-to-me/182502/23 "2003-06-18T10:58:49Z")
Oh, **Juanita,** thank you so much for this thread ! Perfect timing 🙂 I no longer need to vent or explode after hearing others copping the same garbage. I’ve had this several times, usually about money or time, and it doesn’t matter how explanatory, self-deprecating, apologetic, nice or reasonable you are, or how much you try to turn it around and deflect things, the sort of person who says this never stops. Until you bring out the bitchy big guns, like **Zette** and others have described. It calls for your biggest, smuggest grin, the perfect eyebrow raise and the snobbiest nose thrust to accompany the “No, it’s not nice… It’s absolutely fantastic” and stride out of the room. I tried _everything_ and this was the only thing that worked, even though I hate being a bitch or rubbing in my good fortune. Funnily enough, someone even had the hide to say this about a compensation payout I got, when they knew the money was from a pretty bad facial scarring. It was all I could do to not say “Yes, the money is nice, but WALKING AROUND WITHOUT A SCARRED FACE, WITHOUT SEEING PEOPLE’S EYES FLICK STRAIGHT THERE AND THEN AWAY, AND WITHOUT GROWING UP BEING CALLED SCARFACE AND METEORFACE WOULD’VE BEEN NICER, DIPSHIT!” ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-talk-to-this-woman-better-yet-why-does-she-talk-to-me/182502/24 "2003-06-18T13:52:37Z")
Have the same problem. Concur. The way to stop it is not to be nice, or helpful, or try and give financial advice regarding living within ones income. The way to stop it is to agree and say “Yep, its great.” Same thing with snobbery and funny food. Just agree. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-talk-to-this-woman-better-yet-why-does-she-talk-to-me/182502/25 "2003-06-18T14:52:08Z")
Thanks! You guys are so funny. Eve and Zette - you guys should write a book together! “We get paid around here?” and “Rite…Aid?” was priceless. I’ve also made a mental note to myself to _not_ piss off blanx. The thing is, I’m not rich, I’m not a snob and nothing I’ve eaten (so far) has made me laugh. ---
**Author:** ![blanx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f04885/32.png) [@blanx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blanx)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-talk-to-this-woman-better-yet-why-does-she-talk-to-me/182502/26 "2003-06-18T15:18:45Z")
me? I’m a big softie. A veritable pushover. It’s the voices you don’t want to piss off… they can be touchy, and convincing. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Yossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/9de0a6/32.png) [@Yossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yossarian)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-talk-to-this-woman-better-yet-why-does-she-talk-to-me/182502/27 "2003-06-18T16:29:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zette \* > \*\*I love you, Pantellerite. I can tell already 🙂 > > There is NOTHING that compares to the look on someone’s face when you drop the “Nice? It totally rocks! Bye!” bomb on them 🙂 > ::waves to her fellow NCer:: \*\* ::waves back!:: And of course, I said it with a big smile! ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-talk-to-this-woman-better-yet-why-does-she-talk-to-me/182502/28 "2003-06-18T21:19:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zette \* > \*\*Wanna do something fun? > > I learned this from the green eyed monsters who would whine “MUST BE NICE to leave work at NOON every day! Must be NICE!!” (I work shorter hours because I have 17 fused vertabrae, which greatly decreses my ability to well, FUCKING FUNCTION LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING). > > I used to get upset, justify, explain. Then I started saying “You have NO idea how nice it is”. Wow, did THAT stop fast. Believe me, it works. Make sure you smile BIG when you say it, too. \*\* Thanks Zette! I love doing stuff like this! I’m in! ---
**Author:** ![Jurhael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@Jurhael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurhael)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-talk-to-this-woman-better-yet-why-does-she-talk-to-me/182502/29 "2003-06-19T00:14:52Z")
Well, if people claim it “must be nice”, why not agree? heh. ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-talk-to-this-woman-better-yet-why-does-she-talk-to-me/182502/30 "2003-06-19T12:04:06Z")
What I can’t believe is that she came in and _told_ you she’d bounced a check! Or **Queen Tonya** ’s workmate who came in and admitted to having had her phone turned off for non-payment. See, I’ve been poor enough to bounce a check or have my phone turned off, but I was _ashamed of myself_ not pissed at the people I’d screwed through my negligence. And I certainly didn’t go blabbing my misfortune/ incompetence around! I think that’s what I’d have said, “Oh no! You poor thing!” [whispered] “You must feel so _dirty_!” ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-talk-to-this-woman-better-yet-why-does-she-talk-to-me/182502/31 "2003-06-19T14:53:12Z")
Just kick her in shins the next time she does it. Hard. It is much better to be feared than loved, after all. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-talk-to-this-woman-better-yet-why-does-she-talk-to-me/182502/32 "2003-06-19T16:44:38Z")
I used to work with a woman like the one in the OP. We were both in a similar situation, both single moms, making about the same amount of money, but she ran through her paycheck like it was water… she’d come in to work every day with an Egg McMuffin or something from Starbuck’s, she’d eat lunch out every day, she’d shop or get a manicure on lunchbreaks, she went out partying all the time, and then cry poor when it was 2 or 3 days till payday. Like the co-workers of **Queen Tonya** , she was always in danger of having something turned off or repossessed. I brown-bagged my lunch every day and never got manicures. When I was able to buy a new car, she was very snotty about it, and pulled the “Must be nice” routine on me. When my then-fiance were planning our wedding and then buying a house, I got the “Must be nice” routine a lot. It really pissed me off. I wish I’d done the “Yeah, it is nice” bit to her. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-talk-to-this-woman-better-yet-why-does-she-talk-to-me/182502/33 "2003-06-19T19:35:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by slortar \* > \*\*Just kick her in shins the next time she does it. Hard. It is much better to be feared than loved, after all. \*\* **slortar** , you rock! ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-talk-to-this-woman-better-yet-why-does-she-talk-to-me/182502/34 "2003-06-20T02:18:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BiblioCat \* > **I brown-bagged my lunch every day and never got manicures. > When I was able to buy a new car, she was very snotty about it, and pulled the “Must be nice” routine on me. > When my then-fiance were planning our wedding and then buying a house, I got the “Must be nice” routine a lot. It really pissed me off.** Or said “must be nice to be able to waste money at starbucks and not have to worry that you’re still providing the best for your kids.” Though I get the feeling that’s not an ideal thing to say. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-i-talk-to-this-woman-better-yet-why-does-she-talk-to-me/182502.md?page=1)