I agree 100%. I don’t categorically refuse to ask for directions, BUT I find that it is often a waste of time. I would MUCH MUCH MUCH rather look at a map, and figure out where we are on the map than ask some random Joe how to get where I’m going. If we can’t figure it out on the map, or we don’t have a map, or whatever, then of course I will ask for directions.
I don’t want to sound dramatic, but there is also the issue that I want to figure out the layout of the area I’m in rather than just having someone give me a series of instructions. I want to know what else is around. I want to see if there are alternate routes. With just a list of directions, a mistake (either theirs or mine) at any point renders the directions next to worthless.
BUT, if I have a sense of the map, then I am much more comfortable because I can figure out how to get somewhere even something goes wrong.
I generally have a good sense of direction, so I rarely get lost. As a backup, I carry maps, and if that doesn’t work, I can ask for directions with no problem.
You ladies have no idea how deep-seated that whole “sign of weakness” thing is. Guys don’t ask for directions because in doing so they are admitting that there is something they do not know. It is as simple as that.
BTW, that’s also why there are so many lurkers online. A post might inadvertently reveal that one does not know something. That’s why when a thread comes up which calls for an answer that rests on incontrovertible fact – a “Whose faces are carved on Mt. Rushmore?” sort of thing – you will have very infrequent posters come forth to give the answer and then retreat into their fortresses of solitude, where they can read the posts of others and say, “Hey, I knew that and he/she didn’t!”
I post a lot and frequently reveal that I don’t know things, but that’s because my ego is even bigger than the lurkers’ egos. I know so much that I can afford to admit to the odd bit of ignorance here and there. I’m like a guy who has so many diamonds and rubies of knowledge that I can afford to admit to not having any sapphires.
Look upon me, ye poor benighted lurkers, and despair!
Yeah, I think it is the fear of being seen ignorant and it is a guy thing. On the other hand, I am convinced that we have a much better sense of direction, generally speaking. My wife, whom I think is more intelligent than me, is always saying things like, “I am completely turned around”, when I know exactly where I am and where I am heading.
Another possible explanation is that I know that when I give instructions to people who stop at random and ask me, I frequently realize after that there was sometihng wrong with what I said, I forgot about a one-way street or no left turn sign or simply got something wrong. Since I am not a random person (I am ME, after all), I know the average instructions must be wrong.
Last Friday night at 11:45, I was heading for a bookstore that I had been in dozens of times, but always on foot. It was a block or so from my office and obviously I know the neighborhood like the back of my hand, but I got caught up in a maze of no left turns and one ways and went a couple miles out of the way. I wasn’t lost exactly and directions would not have helped.
First off, I rarely ask for help with anything. So that’s part of it. I just don’t like to ask for help. Sign of weakness, whatever.
Secondly, I feel I have a good sense of direction. I’ve driven all over the place and not gotten lost, when I’m driving by myself. If my girlfriend’s with me, she’s always saying, “I’m sure we need to turn right up here. . . .I know it’s over this way. . .I told you to turn back there!. . .” I try to keep the peace, so I listen to her. Her sure thing knowledge (“I know if you turn left. . .”) causes me to doubt my instincts, and it gets us lost. Because of course she doesn’t know where we’re going either. I get put on the s*itlist if I tell her to shut the hell up, though
It has very little to do with being “macho” and a lot to do with being “male”. It has almost nothing to do with “dumb ego”. :rolleyes:
Males understand maps better, and directions worse. Females are the other way around. Which is why females are always badgering men to get directions (because they understand them) and why males don’t want to (because they don’t tend to). the opposite question has been asked by men- “why can’t women just use a map?”, but the old “why don’t men ask for directions” seems to make for a better stand-up comedy routine- which mind you, the OP sounds similar to.
Mars=maps
Venus= directions.
So- ladies, unless you are going to navigate, you need to understand why you manfolk doesn’t want to “stop for directions”. They don’t think they will help- and for THEM, they are likely correct. Try this instead- “honey, why don’t we stop and get a map to look at?” Then while he’s examing the map, you can ask the nice attendant directions, which he can show your man on the map.
There is another small issue- some yokels delight in giving outsiders wrong directions. They usually try this trick on men, not women.
Do not stop, under any circumstances, unless you a) need fuel, b) have arrived at your destination, or c) need to check the vehicle for damage.
You may not ask for directions; however, it is acceptable to consult a map, and navigate accordingly. If you happen to find yourself without a map that you need, wait until the next fuel stop, and buy one.
I have asked for directions many times… and usually regretted it.
About 90 percent of the time, the directions were WRONG! In one case, I got wrong directions from three separate people, each of whom seemed quite sure of himself.
My most recent episode found me in Tampa, with no map, no compass, and no clear idea of where I was. I asked eight people for directions, and none of them had ever HEARD of the street I was seeking.
I have basically given up on directions… people either don’t know how to get where I’m going, or they refuse to tell me.
If I’m going to go the wrong direction anyway, I can do it just as well without help!
Men don’t ask for directions because doing so would be an admission of failure. He was driving, he was supposed to get you to your destination. To ask for directions would be admitting to another person that you screwed up.
To a woman, getting lost is a blameless thing that could happen to anyone. To a man, getting lost means he’s failed.
I rarely ask for directions, but I rarely need to ask. If I get turned around, I check the map and get my bearings. It has nothing to do with fear of “admitting failure” or some such nonsense. If a man doesn’t want to ask for directions, it’s because he genuinely doesn’t believe that he’s totally lost.
A couple of weeks ago I was in an area that I didn’t have a map for, and wasn’t familiar with, so I did stop and get directions, but only after trying and failing to find my destination unaided. The directions were wrong, however. Since I had driven all over the area and gotten familiar with the layout, I was still able to use the directions. So not stopping and asking for directions right away was the best course of action - had I stopped earlier, I would still have been lost.
I’d also like to add that I used to be the guy who worked at the gas station and got asked for directions. Generally both men and women would ask for directions (maybe more women than men, but it was close to 50-50). A lot of the time, I wouldn’t know, and I’d say so. Often times a woman wouldn’t be satisfied that I didn’t know and would keep pushing for an answer! So am I lying or am I just not telling you to be a jerk? For those pushy people, I’d just make up some directions to get them even more lost. I really can’t understand why someone would act that way.
Yep. When my wife tries to help, 9 times out of 10 her sense of where to turn is wrong, and it complicates the process. If I try to find my way solo (or without “help”), the majority of the time it works.
I’m not a man but I’ve been accused of not asking for directions.
It’s because I live in a city in which, once you understand the main grid layout, it is nearly impossible to get lost. If I know approximately where something is, I know that if I just head for it, turning right and then left and then right and so on, I will get there eventually. If I go too far in any direction, I will very soon hit a major street and know exactly where I am. I will not ask for directions in downtown Toronto (unless I don’t know where the place is to begin with). Just because I don’t know exactly how to get there doesn’t mean that I won’t find the most direct way there. One more thing I love about Toronto.
England, on the other hand … I was constantly asking for directions. I also never believe them, so I follow the first direction (“Go down this road this way [points] …”) and then ask someone else, rather than try to follow “Yah, get out of the tube station and go down the road to the newsagent, and turn the corner and go round past the pub …”
All this pride business is just a bunch of crap. Not all guys are that proud. Not everything has to be condensed into psychological gobbledygook.
The reason I don’t ask for directions is that I am sure I know where I am going. I don’t want to waste time asking for directions if I am 75% sure I know I can find it. If I can’t figure it out right away, I just KNOW that I’ll find it in just a minute. If it takes a bit longer, well, it’s got to be here somewhere. No pride involved. No shyness. No explorer calling. It’s just inertia. Most often, it IS just a waste of time. It takes too much time to get the directions. By the time I write it all down or memorize it, I could have found it. Eventually if I can’t find something I’ll ask, as most guys will.
I do agree with the comparisons with women. Women in general don’t understand maps at all. Ask the next woman you meet which direction North is. Then ask the next guy you meet.
And you want a REAL test of your direction finding ability? visit Venice! Man I got lost every time I left the building. But every where I turned there was a very polite Venician eager to give me directions to get me lost again.
On one hand, I usually have a pretty good idea if I need to go north or whatever, and a pretty good idea of where to go until I recognize something. Someone in the car might think I’m just driving around.
BUT, once I don’t get it, I go for the map or help. I think I was out of college until I found out there was a stereotype of men not asking for directions. Not me.
I don’t think pride and fear of looking stupid are why guys don’t ask for directions. My sister just about killed me when I asked a grocery store clerk where something was, and we were in a hurry in a strange place (Texas). I think there is more to it than that.
I had an epiphany once about men, women, and directions. My wife, and most women I know, are lost when they don’t know where they are. I, and most men I know, are lost when we don’t know which way to go. I don’t have to know where I am in order to know what direction to drive to get there. Those of us blessed with good spatial reasoning skills and a strong since of direction can generally get where we are going, unless too many one way streets get in the way. (I can remember visiting one place that could only be reached by one, particular-to-it exit off of I-25. I drove the whole way round the thing, and couldn’t find a way in, because the only entrance was over our head. :rolleyes:.)
I also think DrDeth is right. I, certainly, do not understand directions unless I have map, internal or otherwise. As I drive around, I slowly build up a map. Stopping and asking for directions only works if I am close, or have made that map. I’m afraid to figure out how often I have asked for directions and not understood them, and so forgotten them as soon as I pulled away. My wife, on the other hand, understands directions easily, but can’t picture a map to save her life. In fact, just yesterday she called me for directions to get from A to B, a trip she has made many times, but she missed a turn. She got my directions immediately; I could give them because of the atlas in my head.
Still, driving lost for hours is a problem. Next time, make a game of it instead of getting all pissed off.
I hate hate hate hate bad directions, but I find that the few times I’ve asked for directions from people on the street, the directions turn out to be bad, or vague, or half-assed, or conveniently ommitting some vital piece of information.
I don’t mind going to a gas station for help, but the only times I can remember doing that is if (1) I was given bad directions in the first place and/or (2) I don’t have a map to consult.
Other than that, I never seem to have a problem knowing where I am and getting where I’m going. And heck, being lost can be fun, too.
Another possible perspective. Many guys of my acquaintance take pride in competence, as do I. If I’ve driven somewhere and got myself completely turned around, I want to figure out what I did wrong. It’s sort of like I’m filling in the blank parts of my mental map.
I’m not above stopping and asking for directions if I have to be at a certain place at a certain time, though. And if I’m going on a long trip to another city, I’ll bring a map.
