My daugher is allergic to a bunch of things, esp. peanuts and tree nuts. Her repertoire has expanded to include all legumes, as we discovered one night when I served lentils at dinner. I too wondered about things like almonds and coconuts, but was disinclined to experiment upon a 4-yo. Now that she is old enough, we have had a full work-up done, and she is allergic to:
peanuts, all tree nuts (walnuts, hazelnuts, pecans, pistachios etc.), almonds, pine nuts, coconuts, all legumes (from green beans to soybeans to chickpeas), and sesame seeds.
Luckily, she does not experience anaphylaxis–yet. She throws up rather violently instead. But many of these allergies are cumulative; the best chance she has to outgrow them is to not ingest them, and every time she does, she gets closer to having an anaphylactic reaction. That is why it is not a small thing when it happens; it is a big deal, and something I want very much to avoid.
I’m sure many people think I’m an overprotective freakmother. They sometimes change their minds when they see what happens, though luckily we have managed to avoid allergens pretty well. I didn’t start off overprotective–I learned it through painful experience. When I wasn’t properly watchful (when this first started and I was clueless), my kid got sick and visited the emergency room. So I learned fast. I am not, in fact, an overprotective freakmother; I am doing what I have to do to keep my daughter alive, which I think is perfectly appropriate, and if people decide I’m a freak, I do not care.
So, if you think I am making all this hassle up and inconveniencing our family and friends for the sake of attention and my overdeveloped sense of protectiveness, then I have only one thing to say to you, and it’s something I’m too polite to say. But it is worth noting–as i have several times before on this board and I’m sure everyone is tired of it–that we all love to blame mothers for problems we don’t understand. Autism and homosexuality, until recently, were blamed on bad mothering. So while it’s possible that some allergies are due to too much cleaning, a lot of it is also genetic or due to things we don’t understand–personally I wonder if it isn’t partly due to all the substances we’ve dumped into the environment without knowing what effects they might have. And I have enough to deal with without everyone assuming that I’m a bad mother who is properly punished with an allergic child. A lot of it is luck, and it could be you next time, so don’t enjoy that nice smug feeling too much.