# Why do married people (USA) sleep together? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 23, 1999, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531 "1999-09-23T16:29:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 1999, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531/1 "1999-09-23T16:29:00Z")
I’m talking sleep here, same bed, not sex. Is this some sort of ritual? Frankly, I can’t get much sleep that way & was wondering about this custom. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 1999, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531/2 "1999-09-23T16:33:00Z")
We buy bigger beds. ---
**Author:** ![Inky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d78d45/32.png) [@Inky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 1999, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531/3 "1999-09-23T16:36:00Z")
It’s a survial mechinism in these cold, northern climes. Women sleep in the same bed with their mate so that they can warm their freezing cold feet by sticking them against the poor guy just as he’s about to drift into sleep. Men do it so they can fart under the blankets and then flap them in her direction. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 1999, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531/4 "1999-09-23T16:39:00Z")
'Cause it’s comfy. Plus, I can bug her for sex in the morning. Plus, as long as she’s sleeping in my bed, I know she’s not sleeping in someone else’s 😉 * * * “I guess it is possible for one person to make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn’t.” ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 1999, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531/5 "1999-09-23T16:50:00Z")
You must never have slept alone. It’s nice to know someone is there. ---
**Author:** ![JoltSucker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@JoltSucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoltSucker)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531/6 "1999-09-24T05:10:00Z")
Let me say one word to you… ``` "Spoons" ``` ---
**Author:** ![Mardi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/74df32/32.png) [@Mardi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mardi)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531/7 "1999-09-24T05:20:00Z")
Because we can… * * * The snozberries taste like snozberries! ---
**Author:** ![StrTrkr777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@StrTrkr777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrTrkr777)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531/8 "1999-09-24T05:23:00Z")
I didn’t marry her to sleep alone. I was doing that fine before marriage. Why would I not want to sleep in the same bed? Jeffery ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531/9 "1999-09-24T05:57:00Z")
My guess is other countries are still getting TV shows from the 50’s. The thought of a married couple not sleeping in the same bed, aside from times maybe someone zonks out on the couch during a TV show or something, is unfathomable to me. Yes, I also know married people who do not sleep together. But they are certainly the vast exception to the rule, and I personally couldn’t do it. * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![CatInHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@CatInHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatInHat)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 1999, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531/10 "1999-09-23T18:26:00Z")
Cuz otherwise there’s no one to fight with for the covers. I’d have to mess them up myself, and then steal them from myself. Much easier to let my hubby do some of the work. * * * The Cat In The Hat ---
**Author:** ![tanstaafl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba8739/32.png) [@tanstaafl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanstaafl)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 1999, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531/11 "1999-09-23T18:47:00Z")
OK, I realize that TWIAVBP but I’m having trouble with the entire question here. What countries/cultures are there in which married couples _don’t_ sleep together? I accept they must exist, else the OPs question would never have been raised, but this is one of those things which I always took to be universal. ## Sorry, put me down with culture shock at the moment… (Something I don’t get very often.) “You can’t run away forever; but there’s nothing wrong with getting a good head start.” — Jim Steinman Dennis Matheson — [Dennis@mountaindiver.com](mailto:Dennis@mountaindiver.com) Hike, Dive, Ski, Climb — [www.mountaindiver.com](http://www.mountaindiver.com) ---
**Author:** ![CatInHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@CatInHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatInHat)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 1999, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531/12 "1999-09-23T19:14:00Z")
tanstaafl, what does TWIAVBP mean? * * * The Cat In The Hat ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 1999, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531/13 "1999-09-23T19:16:00Z")
I would guess “The world is a very big place” ? ---
**Author:** ![Inky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d78d45/32.png) [@Inky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 1999, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531/14 "1999-09-23T19:19:00Z")
The more I think about it the more I realize what a good question this is. It never even occured to me that other cultures might not have cohabital sleeping arrangements. I suspect that it became the norm here because the United States was pretty much colonized (okay, swiped) by folks from northern Europe (English, Dutch, German, etc.) which are colder climates where a little warm snuggling would be a real good thing. Whats the arrangement in the middle east or the medetranian? ---
**Author:** ![CatInHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@CatInHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatInHat)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 1999, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531/15 "1999-09-23T19:19:00Z")
Oh, I see now. That makes sense. Thanks, Ike. 🙂 * * * The Cat In The Hat ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 1999, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531/16 "1999-09-23T19:23:00Z")
It started as a way to stay warm, and many families cant afford the extra room and extra bed, etc. Besides, like Joltsucker (_joltsucker?!?!?!_) said…spoons.And it is a nice feeling to be next to someoneall night, look how many of us let our pets on the bed…same thing (without the sexual connotations) Sadly, should I ever do the ‘live together’ thing again, it will have to be seperate rooms. ☹ I had my tonsils out when I was in my early twenties to cure the incredible snoring problem shitboy claimed I had. My tonsils have grown back…_sigh_ …when ‘B’ stays over, he holds me all night, but sleeps very little, the snoring keeps him up. ☹ 😃 but he doesnt fart and pull the covers over my head like shitboy used to do! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 1999, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531/17 "1999-09-23T19:29:00Z")
“And it is a nice feeling to be next to someone all night, look how many of us let our pets on the bed…same thing (without the sexual connotations)” Speak for yourself, kell. Hmmmm…time to go to the hamster store again. * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![Pickman\_s\_Model](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Pickman\_s\_Model](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pickman_s_Model)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 1999, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531/18 "1999-09-23T19:39:00Z")
If you wake up with a bad dream or something, it’s the most reassuring thing in the world to be able to reach over and touch her, knowing that she’s there. Ditto for her. I’ve had my wife wake me up in the middle of the night, crying from some nasty dream, asking to be held. As Kevin Costner said in _The Untouchables,_ “It’s nice to be married, huh?” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 1999, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531/19 "1999-09-23T19:42:00Z")
(acting as ARG’s attorney) You’re going to HELL for that one, Uke. * * * Plunging like stones from a slingshot on Mars. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 1999, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531/20 "1999-09-23T20:04:00Z")
I have been sleeping on the couch lately, but I have a good reason. I have to get up fifty bazillion times a night to use the bathroom, because I’m pregnant & due in about 2 weeks or so. My husband can’t sleep on the couch, because that would mean he’d have to bring his CPAP machine (he wears it for sleep apnea) out into the living room. Not a good idea, with a curious 2 year old running around. Our couch is remarkably comfortable, though, so it’s not a problem for me to actually sleep. I do miss sleeping with my husband, though. He’s warm & comfy. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-married-people-usa-sleep-together/3531.md?page=2)