# Why do men have to know the size of their penis? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 31, 2001, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533 "2001-01-31T07:44:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533/41 "2001-01-31T22:14:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bassguy \* > \*\*I gotta tell you Tymp, you sound like a guy with maybe a little too much time on his hands (bu-dump) > > As for the 5.5’ penis, I am reminded of the chapter in Drew Carey’s “Dirty Jokes and Beer” entitled, “101 Big Dick Jokes.” My favorite: > > “My dick’s so big it won’t return Spielberg’s calls.” > > another > > “My dick’s so big the FAA requires hazard lights.” > > \*\* No the \*best \* is My dick’s so big it has its own dick. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533/42 "2001-01-31T22:16:38Z")
blessedwolf: Your post reminds me of an old joke: Q: Why do men give their dicks names? A: That way they’ll know who’s making their decisions for them. Pretty please, who’s making your decisions for you? ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533/43 "2001-01-31T22:50:16Z")
Oh of course I like you, Euty! But I think you knew that already. 😃 [sub]besides, when somebody someday creates an SDMB Trivia game, it sure can’t hurt to know that piece of information…:D[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533/44 "2001-01-31T22:54:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silly Rabbit \* > \*\*When will people realize that it’s not the SIZE… it’s the FIT!! (use your imagination;)) > > If someone asks you what size you are, just respond, “Well, my girlfriend calls him “OH GOD!!”” \*\* Thanks. Now I’m reminded my friend joking about being hung like a can of tuna fish… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533/45 "2001-01-31T23:01:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pugluvr \* > \*\* > Pretty please, who’s making your decisions for you? \*\* God. :: D&R :: ---
**Author:** ![Redboss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8baadc/32.png) [@Redboss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redboss)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533/46 "2001-01-31T23:05:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by c\_goat \* > \*\*I measured it because I was curious. The first time my g/f saw it she said “wow”. (And it wasn’t sarcastic either). Talk about ego boost. I just had to know the exact length. \*\* please note - “wow” (unsarcastic) is EXACTLY the right thing to say when you first see or feel the penis of some bloke you like. It commits you to nothing, but there is no man alive who will not be glad to hear it. Knowing this will help you deal better with life’s strange vicissitudes. ie you never know when you may neds this information… ---
**Author:** ![Redboss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8baadc/32.png) [@Redboss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redboss)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533/47 "2001-01-31T23:07:27Z")
oops. See I can spell the big words but not the small shd have been “need” this information ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533/48 "2001-01-31T23:42:01Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Redboss \* \*\* > [@](#): > > please note - “wow” (unsarcastic) is EXACTLY the right thing to say when you first see or feel the penis of some bloke you like. It commits you to nothing, but there is no man alive who will not be glad to hear it.\*\* ☹ So you’re saying that she doesn’t really think that 4" is good and she’s just lying to make me happy? Tell me it isn’t so… ---
**Author:** ![pezpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@pezpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezpunk)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533/49 "2001-02-01T00:05:38Z")
I don’t actually know how long it is but I am sick of tripping over it! 😃 That was just pitiful! ---
**Author:** ![St.Attila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@St.Attila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Attila)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533/50 "2001-02-01T01:03:15Z")
Height restriction in the parking garage. ---
**Author:** ![Purd\_Werfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47c2d/32.png) [@Purd\_Werfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purd_Werfect)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533/51 "2001-02-01T01:12:27Z")
It’s not like I had an obsessive compulsion to measure it. I just like to find out as much as I can about those I love. ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533/52 "2001-02-01T01:13:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by St. Attila \* > \*\*Height restriction in the parking garage. \*\* I just spent five minutes staring at my computer screen, and I still don’t get this. And the best big dick joke is “My dick’s so big, when I go to the movies, the popcorn sizes are small, medium, large, and my dick.” ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533/53 "2001-02-01T01:29:46Z")
Popcorn surprise? You that’s the old trick where a guy puts his penis in a hole in the bottle of the popcorn & his date finds it later. But really guys, penis size comes from your genes & surely a race with a penis too small to reproduce would have vanished years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533/54 "2001-02-01T01:45:12Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by c\_goat \* \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Redboss \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > please note - “wow” (unsarcastic) is EXACTLY the right thing to say when you first see or feel the penis of some bloke you like. It commits you to nothing, but there is no man alive who will not be glad to hear it.\*\* > > ☹ So you’re saying that she doesn’t really think that 4" is good and she’s just lying to make me happy? > > Tell me it isn’t so… \*\* Well, it’s far better to have that sort of reaction than to laugh hysterically… ---
**Author:** ![St.Attila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@St.Attila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Attila)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533/55 "2001-02-01T01:57:21Z")
\*Originally posted by **ThisYearsGirl** \* > [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by St. Attila \* > > \*\*Height restriction in the parking garage. \*\* > > I just spent five minutes staring at my computer screen, and I still don’t get this.\*\* Ah, just call me St. Asshole and we’ll leave it at that. Time for my nap. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533/56 "2001-02-01T01:59:08Z")
Oh, where’s **zyzzyva** when you need him? He and a friend went on and on with big dick jokes. The best big dick joke was something about “declaring a People’s Republic of my dick”. ---
**Author:** ![kirk280980](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c77e96/32.png) [@kirk280980](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kirk280980)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533/57 "2001-02-01T02:41:57Z")
Why do we measure our dicks? I think it’s just one of the need-to-know things, even though the information serves little use. I measured mine once and left it at that. I know how big it is (6" length, 5" circumference, just in case you were wondering), but the actual numbers still don’t matter to me. Whatever the tape measure may have read, I’m happy with what I’ve got regardless. For me, I don’t get hung-up about the size of a guy’s dick, as long as it looks good and doesn’t have a 90 degree bend in the middle. 😃 I hate to generalise, but I’ve found one thing to remain true on the majority of occasions. Guys who have a big dick and know it sometimes think they have to impress you with it, and insist on using it roughly. The phrase “spit roast” comes to mind. Not nice. I much prefer a guy with an average endowment, who uses it with skill, tenderness and care. ---
**Author:** ![Skarecrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Skarecrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skarecrow)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533/58 "2001-02-01T05:10:24Z")
I have to say that the only time my dick was ever measured was by an old girlfriend of mine because she wanted to know. I (until I was about 20 years old) didn’t even know if it was small or large, I had no point of reference. I have since found out, and it is still irrelevant. I also do not have a name for it. Although that kind of saddens me. I’d like to name it. any suggestions? ---
**Author:** ![Redboss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8baadc/32.png) [@Redboss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redboss)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533/59 "2001-02-01T06:39:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by c\_goat \* > ☹ So you’re saying that she doesn’t really think that 4" is good and she’s just lying to make me happy? > > Tell me it isn’t so… \*\* Okay. It isn’t so. And you know I’m telling the truth. PS In case anyone’s interested there are a few other mandatory replies. When people say “can you come to my party/my first sermon/my sanity hearing” the correct initial response is “I’d love to!” You then have a short happy moment together before you add “but I need to check if I can”. And THEN you start lying to make them happy. ---
**Author:** ![zen101](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c68b51/32.png) [@zen101](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zen101)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533/60 "2001-02-01T08:19:40Z")
So I know where to put the safety tape on the floor of my workshop around the radial arm saw and the belt sander and lathe. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-men-have-to-know-the-size-of-their-penis/52533.md?page=4)