# Why do most men fall apart at the site of a weeping woman? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 21, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-most-men-fall-apart-at-the-site-of-a-weeping-woman/225496 "2004-01-21T19:16:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2004, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-most-men-fall-apart-at-the-site-of-a-weeping-woman/225496/21 "2004-01-23T14:02:03Z")
Men are raised to be “fixers.” We take care of things, we make them right. If a woman is crying, we want to fix whatever is wrong. Unfortunately, this leads to use being entirely too convinced of our own abilities and too dismissive of women’s abilities. Instead of fixing, we should listen, offer advice and assistance if requested, but let you fix the problem yourself. A message I learned the hard way in dealing with an alcoholic ex-wife and a whole lifetime of being a “fixer.” ---
**Author:** ![Bibliovore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Bibliovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bibliovore)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2004, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-most-men-fall-apart-at-the-site-of-a-weeping-woman/225496/22 "2004-01-23T14:21:06Z")
I don’t know if this is true for all guys, but there is something about the sight of a woman in tears that reaches right down into the depths of my instinctual brain and triggers “Protective Male mode”. It immediately makes me want to wrap her up in a big, protective hug and shield her from whatever is hurting her. This would be kind of awkward if the lady in question is my boss, or someone I don’t even know, but the instinct is there, nevertheless. ---
**Author:** ![rngadam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/97f17d/32.png) [@rngadam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rngadam)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2004, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-most-men-fall-apart-at-the-site-of-a-weeping-woman/225496/23 "2004-01-23T17:07:05Z")
> [@Sqube](#): > > Maybe it’s just my personal experience, but is there a man extant who can survive It reminds me of the time my father was brought to small claims court because of the a woman complaining about the appartment that my father was renting to her. The judge was getting really harsh against her because she didn’t have any facts to back herself up… that is, until she started crying. And then, after making every man in the room feel bad (judge, father and myself) the judge wiped her tears with my father’s wallet with a few thousand dollars… ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2004, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-most-men-fall-apart-at-the-site-of-a-weeping-woman/225496/24 "2004-01-23T17:27:54Z")
I’ve also noticed that women tend to cry alot after I have sex with them. [scratches head] Haven’t quite figured that one out yet… ---
**Author:** ![Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2004, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-most-men-fall-apart-at-the-site-of-a-weeping-woman/225496/25 "2004-01-23T20:20:01Z")
If a woman cries in my presence, I will first try to figure out what is wrong. If I am unable to do so immediately, or if I determine that there is nothing I can do to correct the problem, then I will quietly slip out the back door and return later when (hopefully) she’s over it. -FK ---
**Author:** ![Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2004, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-most-men-fall-apart-at-the-site-of-a-weeping-woman/225496/26 "2004-01-23T20:29:22Z")
> [@jackelope](#): > > Just lost an arm in a combine thresher? _Don’t be such a sissy_. Seriously. If you lose an arm in a combine thresher, you need to stop the bleeding. Apply dressings to the stump, as well as direct and indirect pressure (a tourniquet may be required). Shut down the machinery, and see if you cand find the lost limb. If so, wrap it in sterile dressings, put it in a plastic bag, pack it in ice, and then get yourself and the severed limb to hospital ASAP. Crying - bah! What exactly do you expect to accomplish balling your eyes out while sitting there bleeding to death? Some people… -FK ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2004, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-most-men-fall-apart-at-the-site-of-a-weeping-woman/225496/27 "2004-01-23T21:58:39Z")
**Spider** well, again, I’m drawing on my own experience, most of the crying women I come in contact with are indeed hysterical, and rightly so, as they’ve just suffered a loss of major proportions (a child, or loved one, or their property). I was not speaking generally, as if to say all crying women are hysterical, still, I think the same rules apply. ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2004, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-most-men-fall-apart-at-the-site-of-a-weeping-woman/225496/28 "2004-01-23T23:26:53Z")
I, um, find the sight of a crying woman kind of hot. Not because of some sick domination thing!! As far as I can tell, there is something about emotional connection and openness and intimacy involved. No one in my family was allowed to cry. That may have something to do with it, as we all grew up to be cold fishes by disposition But not only do I melt to a mushy mess when a woman cries in front of me, like the OP, I have often needed to psychologically fight off wood. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-most-men-fall-apart-at-the-site-of-a-weeping-woman/225496.md?page=1)