# Why do people care about your eating habits? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 14, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-care-about-your-eating-habits/606201 "2011-12-14T17:55:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2011, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-care-about-your-eating-habits/606201/41 "2011-12-16T18:51:54Z")
> [@OleOneEye](#): > > Anything’s possible. But would someone who’s just quietly enjoying a chicken sandwich feel the need to compare it to the burger? I don’t think you understood what **Nametag** was saying. He was talking about someone who is quietly enjoying a chicken sandwich, not someone who’s voicing any such comparison. Heck, I remember the long-gone days of the McLean sandwiches. They weren’t very popular, but I kinda liked them. They weren’t as juicy as a regular burger, but they were leaner and they had enough of a beefy flavor to keep me satisfied. That didn’t stop people from voicing their disgust when they’d see me eating one, though. “That stuff is disgusting!” they’d say, or somesuch rot. Ditto for times when I’d be eating a veggie burger or having turkey bacon. “Why have turkey bacon when you can have the REAL thing?” one roomie voiced loudly. As **GuanoLad** said, many people want others to enjoy food as much as they do. Hence the derisive remarks when people choose to deprive themselves a little bit, or when they learn to enjoy food in healthier ways. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2011, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-care-about-your-eating-habits/606201/42 "2011-12-16T19:00:53Z")
I had a frenemy once who used to taunt my vegetarianism. “But meat is dee-_licious_!” she’d exclaim. My response: “So are vegetables. Your point is?” ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2011, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-care-about-your-eating-habits/606201/43 "2011-12-16T19:02:56Z")
Heck, yeah, **Dogzilla**. I’m not a vegetarian, but I know full well what you’re talking about. It’s what I’ve been saying all along. For a great many folks, “But it’s delicious!” may as well be a mantra. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2011, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-care-about-your-eating-habits/606201/44 "2011-12-16T19:14:11Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > Have I given any indication that I was being insufferably smug? Any indication whatsoever? Even the tiniest bit? > > The reality is that people will offer those derisive comments without any invitation whatsoever. I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve carried around, say, a back of low-fat microwavable popcorn at work, only to hear someone say, “How can you possibly eat that crap? It tastes like cardboard!” Or the times when I’d eat fruit instead of cake at a company party. Almost invariably, someone will say, “Come on. You need to enjoy yourself! One slice isn’t going to kill you” or words to that effect. > > The simple reality is that many people get defensive when it comes to healthy eating choices. To many folks, this is simply an unreasonable sacrifice – “no way to live,” as one guy put it. Like it or not, that’s how many people think. > > Just last year, for example, I posted a Facebook comment about how it’s a good idea to practice self-control and avoid holiday binging – the kind of healthy advice that nutritionists and fitness experts have been saying for decades. Predictably, one guy piped up with “Are you saying that people need to throw away all these cookies that Grandma so lovingly baked for us???” Now obviously, self-control is all about moderation rather than total self-denial. When it comes to food though, many folks cannot make that distinction, at least not at a visceral level. Intellectually, they may understand the need, but in their gut, it’s simply too much to ask. > > So no, this is not simply about people responding negatively when you hit them over the head with a healthy eating message. You don’t have to do that. Food has such an emotional chokehold on people that even just practicing healthy eating is enough to invite snorts of derision. Yes, you have. In this very response. You thought it was your place to tell people what they should or should not eat during the holidays. You even admit that it was predictable that someone would take offense, yet they are the ones who are wrong and you are the one who is right. Now, I’ve learned that said smugness is just something people who have lost weight can’t avoid because they just want to help so many people. But it doesn’t change the societal rules. It would be no different than telling someone not to splurge too much of their money on gifts. The thing is that everyone knows what they should do. So anyone telling them is either calling them stupid for not knowing, or is intentionally bringing up something they already beat themselves up over and thus is trying to be an asshole. Because, when it boils down to it, overeating is an addiction–we are hardwired for it to be easy to associate eating with pleasure. Calling it just emotional is an understatement. It’s akin to telling someone they need to stop having sex or they might live 10 years shorter. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2011, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-care-about-your-eating-habits/606201/45 "2011-12-16T19:25:40Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Yes, you have. In this very response. You thought it was your place to tell people what they should or should not eat during the holidays. You even admit that it was predictable that someone would take offense, yet they are the ones who are wrong and you are the one who is right. I said no such thing. What I said is that it’s a good idea to exercise self-control, i.e. moderation. This is NOT the same as saying what people should or should not eat. You’re making the same exact mistake that I was lamenting. As I said, that’s a distinction that many people have difficulty making at a gut level. There is nothing “smug” about saying that eating healthier is better than eating excessively. It’s just plain common sense. It’s not a moral condemnation of anyone; rather, it’s a simple statement of basic principles. Because food has such a tight hold on people though, such remarks will inevitably be interpreted as smug condescension, no matter how carefully and precisely they are phrased. ---
**Author:** ![Vihaga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Vihaga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vihaga)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2011, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-care-about-your-eating-habits/606201/46 "2011-12-16T19:36:27Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > There is nothing “smug” about saying that eating healthier is better than eating excessively. It’s just plain common sense. It’s not a moral condemnation of anyone; rather, it’s a simple statement of basic principles. If it’s so basic, why does everyone need you to remind them? If advice is that “just plain common sense,” they already know, which makes your comment condescending. If it’s advanced knowledge you’re distributing, why bother distributing it to someone who hasn’t asked for it? There is not really a polite way to give unsolicited lifestyle advice to others. People hate being told what to do. It’s not even always food-related. /edit to actually answer the OP: I have no idea, and it drives me crazy. I used to have a coworker who commented every time I walked in with a cup from a nearby eatery that “she had no idea how I could drink that sugary stuff” (the place sells various coffee beverage). My drink? Unsweetened iced coffee with a bit of milk. And who cares what I’m drinking? Gah. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2011, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-care-about-your-eating-habits/606201/47 "2011-12-16T19:49:53Z")
OP, could you maybe have a polite conversation with your co-worker? Something along the lines of, “Co-worker, I like working with you, but I don’t really understand why you’re so concerned with what I eat at work. Could you let me know what’s going on with that?” ---
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2011, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-care-about-your-eating-habits/606201/48 "2011-12-16T20:20:13Z")
My SO would like to have more input on my food choices. He’s extremely fit and has a very restricted diet (by choice, not really for medical reasons). It just bugs the hell out of him if he’s eating the grilled chicken breast and I decide to get a burger and fries. He won’t say anything usually, but occasionally will mention that he’s “disappointed” in what I ordered. Seriously? If that’s the most disappointment he can find in our relationship, he’s a Lucky Lucky Man, imo. I don’t know what your coworker’s motivation is, but my SO’s is usually health- or weight-related. We don’t see each other that often, and he tends to forget that my once-in-a-while burger is not my everyday diet. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2011, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-care-about-your-eating-habits/606201/49 "2011-12-16T20:25:07Z")
> [@Vihaga](#): > > If it’s so basic, why does everyone need you to remind them? If advice is that “just plain common sense,” they already know, which makes your comment condescending. I disagree. You’re acting as though any such statement is the same as hitting people over the head with such a remark. There is a broad continuum between complete silence and hitting people with a verbal sledgehammer. As **Nametag** said though, some people will simply react with paranoia. That’s how touchy this subject can be. Let me ask you this. Is eating moderately better than overindulgence? Is the answer not reasonably self-evident? If so, does the mere statement of this fact make it an act of smug condescension? The human mind is capable of tremendous cognitive dissonance. People can acknowledge something to be true on one level, while simultaneously failing to internalize it. That’s why there are all these PSAs against smoking and drunk driving. Everyone knows that such acts are self-destructive, and yet we recognize that people still need to hear it. If someone says that it’s a good idea to avoid overeating so that we don’t regret our excesses afterwards, I’m not about to take offense – nor would any reasonable person. Only a decidedly unreasonable person would respond by saying, “I already know that! Why are you telling me this? How terribly smug, how terribly condescending of you!” ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2011, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-care-about-your-eating-habits/606201/50 "2011-12-16T21:07:47Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > I said no such thing. What I said is that it’s a good idea to exercise self-control, i.e. moderation. This is NOT the same as saying what people should or should not eat. > > You’re making the same exact mistake that I was lamenting. As I said, that’s a distinction that many people have difficulty making at a gut level. > > There is nothing “smug” about saying that eating healthier is better than eating excessively. It’s just plain common sense. It’s not a moral condemnation of anyone; rather, it’s a simple statement of basic principles. Because food has such a tight hold on people though, such remarks will inevitably be interpreted as smug condescension, no matter how carefully and precisely they are phrased. the smug part is that you honestly seem to believe you’re making (or will make) some kind of difference. Patting yourself on the back for some facebook slacktivism only benefits you. we’ve been steadily growing larger for decades thanks to poor overall dietary choices, and you sit there on your pedestal telling people not to overindulge at holiday dinners. Well done you. Note: almost all of us go through this kind of phase at some point in our lives. Usually we outgrow it once we get past college. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2011, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-care-about-your-eating-habits/606201/51 "2011-12-16T21:42:24Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > I had a frenemy once who used to taunt my vegetarianism. “But meat is dee-_licious_!” she’d exclaim. > > My response: “So are vegetables. Your point is?” That vegetables aren’t as delicious as meat. Duh. ---
**Author:** ![bufftabby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bufftabby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bufftabby)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2011, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-care-about-your-eating-habits/606201/52 "2011-12-16T21:49:14Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > That vegetables aren’t as delicious as meat. Duh. Well, no, not when they’re made of vinyl. ---
**Author:** ![King\_Bobo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@King\_Bobo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/King_Bobo)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2011, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-care-about-your-eating-habits/606201/53 "2011-12-17T03:17:16Z")
At the risk of bolloxing this thread - is it ever OK to comment on a coworker’s food choice? My small office is very international. Maybe 15 or so of us and representing about five/six nationalities. On occasion I will comment on how delicious the smells of microwaved foods in the lunch room are to me. In one case, I even (jokingly) threatened to mug a coworker for her lunch! Is this considered dickish? I really was trying to be complimentary - and in truth if she had been smaller than me, I might have considered it. Am I out of line? So, in all seriousness, are all comments wrong? ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2011, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-care-about-your-eating-habits/606201/54 "2011-12-17T03:26:56Z")
No, it’s not always wrong. I see nothing wrong with the scenario that you described, for example. To revisit one of my previous anecdotes, it most certainly is dickish to say that a co-worker needs to have cake instead of fruit. Or to say that a vegetarian should learn to enjoy meat because it tastes so much better. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2011, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-care-about-your-eating-habits/606201/55 "2011-12-17T03:37:21Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > the smug part is that you honestly seem to believe you’re making (or will make) some kind of difference. Patting yourself on the back for some facebook slacktivism only benefits you. we’ve been steadily growing larger for decades thanks to poor overall dietary choices, and you sit there on your pedestal telling people not to overindulge at holiday dinners. Well done you. Methinks you’re painting with an exceedingly broad brush. As with most things in life, the manner in which one states the truth makes all the difference. As I said earlier though, when it comes to food choices, many people will respond as defensively as some SDMBers do. To use the Facebook example, it would most certainly be inappropriate to say, “You people need to eat the way I do – smaller quantities and less grease!” That kind of statement is unlikely to win any converts. In contrast, there’s nothing objectionable about saying, “I’m allowing myself a few Christmas cookies and treats, but I’m not going to go overboard. I’d like to avoid the guilty feelings that I experienced last year.” It’s perfectly reasonable and appropriate, though of course, this won’t prevent certain unreasonable people from taking offense. As **Nametag** said, some people tend to be paranoid when it comes to this topic. It’s the same kind of mindset that prevents people from distinguishing between moderation and utter self-denial. When people adopt that mindset, any statement about the prudence of self-control is bound to be greeted with thoughts of “I already know that! By stating this, you are simply proving how smug you really are.” ---
**Author:** ![GreenElf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@GreenElf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenElf)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2011, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-care-about-your-eating-habits/606201/56 "2011-12-17T17:24:49Z")
> [@Lionne](#): > > Why do people bug you about your eating habits? Why do they care so much? Because they’re small-minded busybody fussbudgets who think they know what’s best for everyone else and have no interesting things to talk about besides food. I live with one of those people. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-care-about-your-eating-habits/606201.md?page=2)