# Why do people despise weakness? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 12, 2012, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755 "2012-11-12T05:02:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755/1 "2012-11-12T05:02:07Z")
“The problem with the world is that the fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves while the intelligent people are full of doubts.” - Bertrand Russell People value confidence. It seems the more confident you are, the better off you will be. Whatever endeavor you plan to take on, you’re going to need some degree of confidence. It is a very tough world, and you got to be confident to succeed. I can understand that. On the flip side of this is weakness. People despise weakness in others. People despise bums, desperate men and women, and anybody who displays signs of nervousness or anxiety. They avoid these people like the plague. I see a lot of this in the relationship between men and women. Women seem to gravitate towards guys who are confident. The number 1 complaint I hear from women is about men who are not confident. They seem to have no patience for these types. I struggle with this myself. I believe I’m a confident guy, but I’ve been pretty unsuccessful with women. I get nervous and simply am not myself and women are turned off pretty quickly. Each negative experience like this takes its’ toll and it gets more and more difficult to be happy and confident. In my view, the timid people around us are not necessarily bad people. I would wager that they are actually kinder and more thoughtful than many others. This has been my experience in general. So what gives? Why do people have such a low tolerance for timidity? Why do we not care for each other like we should? ---
**Author:** ![Diamonds02](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@Diamonds02](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diamonds02)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755/2 "2012-11-12T05:14:55Z")
I wonder the same thing. The weak are the least of my threats. Such people will never harm me, because they are, well, weak. In fact, I like having people around who are weaker than me. They deflect negative attention from me. 😃 They are more open to persuasion, will make you feel like a hero, are easy to predict, etc. ---
**Author:** ![IceQube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@IceQube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IceQube)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755/3 "2012-11-12T05:30:15Z")
I see myself in weak people, so that’s why I sometimes show contempt for them. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755/4 "2012-11-12T05:35:20Z")
It helps us justify our abandoning or victimizing of them. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755/5 "2012-11-12T05:39:15Z")
I blame evolution. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755/6 "2012-11-12T05:40:38Z")
We think they want things from us. We resent that. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755/7 "2012-11-12T05:52:56Z")
> [@IceQube](#): > > I see myself in weak people, so that’s why I sometimes show contempt for them. Only 2 posts in and someone nails it, and with laudable honesty at that. Bravo/a. I think the corollary there is that to the extent that you are comfortable with your own weaknesses and limitations, you can be more accepting of those you perceive in others. Both are rare qualities indeed. ---
**Author:** ![IceQube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@IceQube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IceQube)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755/8 "2012-11-12T06:15:09Z")
> [@deltasigma](#): > > Only 2 posts in and someone nails it, and with laudable honesty at that. Bravo/a. _Takes a bow_ -Ahem- _curtsy_ 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755/9 "2012-11-12T06:16:00Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I blame evolution. That’s basically it. We’re basically tribal creatures, and a weak member of the tribe is both beneath you in the tribal hierarchy, and less useful to the tribe as a whole. Of course we despise him. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755/10 "2012-11-12T06:19:39Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > That’s basically it. We’re basically tribal creatures, and a weak member of the tribe is both beneath you in the tribal hierarchy, and less useful to the tribe as a whole. Of course we despise him. I don’t think this is logically sound. Just because someone is timid does not mean they are less useful. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755/11 "2012-11-12T06:28:44Z")
I can understand the evolution argument. Only the strong survive. However, the opposite of timidity would be aggressiveness. Without a good intention, aggressiveness can be very dangerous. Hitler. Prime example. Loud, aggressive, confident. ---
**Author:** ![RockytheflyingS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a9adbd/32.png) [@RockytheflyingS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RockytheflyingS)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755/12 "2012-11-12T06:41:15Z")
I actually feel the opposite way. I feel weakness is too accepted to the point of where it is exspected. The kind of “Who are you to do THAT?!/Who are you to talk to/do that to me/them?” thing. Who am I not to do such a thing? (Of course referring to legal things.) Weak people let bad things happen to good people. Too many examples to list. Just think of the things that have happened that could have easily stoped if someone just took a stand. The weak are mostly yes men. The weak give power to those who should not have it. The weak are cowards! ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755/13 "2012-11-12T07:01:50Z")
> [@IceQube](#): > > I see myself in weak people, so that’s why I sometimes show contempt for them. Could you elaborate on this? ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755/14 "2012-11-12T07:14:47Z")
> [@Scotty Mo](#): > > I don’t think this is logically sound. Just because someone is timid does not mean they are less useful. It does among the male hunting/fighting parties we’re descended from. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755/15 "2012-11-12T08:52:26Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > We think they want things from us. We resent that. Yup. I expect them to try and guilt me into doing things for them, and get annoyed at the added responsibility of looking after them as well as me and mine. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755/16 "2012-11-12T12:30:34Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > It does among the male hunting/fighting parties we’re descended from. No, it doesn’t. I understand the point your trying to make. That being strong was a virtue in a hunting or fighting tribe. Fair enough. But it still does not follow that someone who is less tough in that aspect is also less useful. I think that’s a superficial way of looking at things. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755/17 "2012-11-12T12:54:41Z")
> [@Scotty Mo](#): > > No, it doesn’t. I understand the point your trying to make. That being strong was a virtue in a hunting or fighting tribe. Fair enough. But it still does not follow that someone who is less tough in that aspect is also less useful. I think that’s a superficial way of looking at things. I’m saying that that’s why we \*instinctively \*despise weaker people. On an intellectual level, we may think that they’re just as useful as anyone else, but on the instinctive level, we homo sapiens are still hunter-gatherers, and anyone weaker than us is either liability or prey. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755/18 "2012-11-12T13:14:57Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > I’m saying that that’s why we \*instinctively \*despise weaker people. On an intellectual level, we may think that they’re just as useful as anyone else, but on the instinctive level, we homo sapiens are still hunter-gatherers, and anyone weaker than us is either liability or prey. Ok, I think you have answered my original question then. I guess the next would be why do we think on an instinctual level as opposed to an intellectual one? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755/19 "2012-11-12T13:18:10Z")
Because the instinctual was here first and has dibs. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755/20 "2012-11-12T13:24:53Z")
> [@Scotty Mo](#): > > No, it doesn’t. I understand the point your trying to make. That being strong was a virtue in a hunting or fighting tribe. Fair enough. But it still does not follow that someone who is less tough in that aspect is also less useful. I think that’s a superficial way of looking at things. Superficial or not, if he ain’t good for huntin’ or fightin’ he ain’t good for fuckin’. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-despise-weakness/640755.md?page=2)