# Why do people feel it's OK to ask a man if he's gained weight? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 27, 2003, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-feel-its-ok-to-ask-a-man-if-hes-gained-weight/204092 "2003-09-27T02:10:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aaslatten](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f14d63/32.png) [@aaslatten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aaslatten)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-feel-its-ok-to-ask-a-man-if-hes-gained-weight/204092/1 "2003-09-27T02:10:40Z")
OK, this has happened to me a few times in the last couple of weeks. One woman said it looked like I had lost weight (which was great …). Another two told me it looked like I was putting on weight. I’m not “obese” or particularly sensitive about my weight, but I find it extremely annoying that people (mostly women?) feel that it’s OK to kid a man about his weight. What the hell is that? Any thoughts? ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-feel-its-ok-to-ask-a-man-if-hes-gained-weight/204092/2 "2003-09-27T02:21:11Z")
I dunno, but a “No, have you?” puts a quick stop to it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![skeptic\_ev](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@skeptic\_ev](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/skeptic_ev)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-feel-its-ok-to-ask-a-man-if-hes-gained-weight/204092/3 "2003-09-27T02:36:00Z")
As a woman, I wouldn’t do that, but I imagine the reason is that the common perception (which is frequently, though not always, true) is that men are not as sensitive about their bodies as we women tend to be. Of course, that’s no excuse for us to be rude. I _will_ on occasion ask someone if he/she’s _lost_ weight because that’s generally considered a compliment. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-feel-its-ok-to-ask-a-man-if-hes-gained-weight/204092/4 "2003-09-27T04:27:39Z")
How is it anyone’s business to inquire? If it’s your doctor, fine. Anyone else, STFU! Rudeness is always out of place. ---
**Author:** ![j.c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/73ab20/32.png) [@j.c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j.c)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-feel-its-ok-to-ask-a-man-if-hes-gained-weight/204092/5 "2003-09-29T17:16:07Z")
Oh, probably for the same reason that people feel it’s okay to tell a woman she’s too thin… Seriously, if you are talking about close friends with whom you have discussed your weight, then it’s because you made it a fair topic of conversation. Otherwise, just because that’s what people are like. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-feel-its-ok-to-ask-a-man-if-hes-gained-weight/204092/6 "2003-09-29T18:41:23Z")
It’s rude. Unless you’re the kind of guy that pulls his shirt up and pats his beer gut and yells “HOO BOY” or something. Then you’re fair game. ---
**Author:** ![Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horrifying_Howler_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-feel-its-ok-to-ask-a-man-if-hes-gained-weight/204092/7 "2003-09-30T00:28:01Z")
> [@](#): > > Why do people feel it’s OK to ask a man if he’s gained weight? Cause people are rude. People who I hardly know are always coming up to me at work and asking me if I dyed my hair. Like it is any business of theirs anyway. (And what tipped you off? The fact that it is bright pink?) ---
**Author:** ![Bandanaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ab097/32.png) [@Bandanaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bandanaman)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-feel-its-ok-to-ask-a-man-if-hes-gained-weight/204092/8 "2003-09-30T00:50:13Z")
Yeah, I’ve gained weight. But tomorrow I can diet, and you’ll still be an insensitive boor. [sub]darn I wish this was in the Pit[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![aaslatten](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f14d63/32.png) [@aaslatten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aaslatten)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-feel-its-ok-to-ask-a-man-if-hes-gained-weight/204092/9 "2003-09-30T03:55:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bandanaman \* > \*\*Yeah, I’ve gained weight. > > But tomorrow I can diet, and you’ll still be an insensitive boor. > > [sub]darn I wish this was in the Pit[/sub] \*\* Yeah, I almost put it there, but I decided I was more interested in the honest opinions of females as to why this occurs. The joke is a lot of women freak out when you hesitate after they _ask_ you if they’re fat. Christ, I don’t ask anybody and really don’t want opinions from anybody but a doctor. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-feel-its-ok-to-ask-a-man-if-hes-gained-weight/204092/10 "2003-09-30T13:34:26Z")
There’s this woman who works in an office I deal with a lot, and in the two years I’ve worked here she has commented on my weight no fewer than three times. Two of those times were observations of weight gain. I have no idea what made her think this was okay. She’s obviously obsessed with people’s weight. She seems normal otherwise.