# Why do people hate Miss Manners? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 4, 2005, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441 "2005-02-04T22:49:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Elret](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Elret](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elret)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441/1 "2005-02-04T22:49:56Z")
I think Miss Manners is clever, witty, and wise. Of course not everyone agrees, but it seems that there are so many who hate her with a burning passion. What’s up with that? I often find it hard to explain what I like about her to people who don’t “get” her, so I guess it’s equally hard for people who hate her to explain that to me, but I’m curious - do you like? Love? Hate? Don’t give a crap? How come? Thanks ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441/2 "2005-02-04T22:53:28Z")
I find people who hate Miss Manners haven’t really actually read Miss Manners. They just think she’s a head-in-the-clouds ettiquette maven ala Emily Post who looks down on the unwashed masses. Where really all she wants to do is get across the idea that manners are tools for making people comfortable. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441/3 "2005-02-04T23:06:18Z")
**Tremorviolet** has an excellent point, although I’ve known some people who are put off by her habit of referring to herself in the third person. Some people see it as, well, pretentious, and I have to admit that I find it somewhat annoying at times. ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441/4 "2005-02-05T00:22:41Z")
The ones I’ve seen tend to be doing something she finds to be bad manners, so of course they’re right and she’s an out-of-touch old biddy who should have hung it up years ago. A defence thing so they can feel better about continuing to do something rude. I think she’s great! ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441/5 "2005-02-05T00:24:36Z")
I’m a fan, but she does come off as being quite full of herself at times, and it can be off-putting. Though most of the people who claim to hate her seem mostly to be people who don’t want to be told that the things they do are rude. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441/6 "2005-02-05T00:27:29Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > **Tremorviolet** has an excellent point, although I’ve known some people who are put off by her habit of referring to herself in the third person. Some people see it as, well, pretentious, and I have to admit that I find it somewhat annoying at times. SteveG1 finds it annoying too. SteveG1 thinks it is even more pretentious than the royal We. SteveG1 thinks these jabronies should knock it off. If you smell what SteveG1 is cooking 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441/7 "2005-02-05T00:31:37Z")
Most people who dislike Miss Manners ([Judith Martin](http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/style/columns/missmanners/)) don’t really dislike _her_, they dislike the idea of her which typically resembles some primary school teacher they also hated. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441/8 "2005-02-05T00:34:08Z")
I think she’s a hoot! I’ve heard her on the radio - she’s as charming as she is witty and classy. She’d be appalled at the way I set my table, but because of her, I want to host a dinner party. I’m tired of pot luck all the time! ---
**Author:** ![Elret](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Elret](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elret)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441/9 "2005-02-05T01:26:41Z")
Ha! A hoot is exactly what she is, in my opinion. I can agree that the third person can get tiresome, and that my table setting would cause Dear Miss Manners to have palpitations. But there are so many people who disagree with some of her etiquette advice (as happens with any advice-giver) but fail to see the _hoot_. I wish they could see the hoot. ---
**Author:** ![Carnac\_the\_Magnificent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Carnac\_the\_Magnificent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carnac_the_Magnificent)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441/10 "2005-02-05T02:37:43Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > **Tremorviolet** has an excellent point, although I’ve known some people who are put off by her habit of referring to herself in the third person. Some people see it as, well, pretentious, and I have to admit that I find it somewhat annoying at times. FWIW, The Washington Post, I believe, did a story on her about 15 years ago. She was at a book signing and, IIRC, either left her purse and silk scarf in a cab, or misplaced them. IIRC, she reported that her purse cost about $550 and the scarf $250 or so. Those were 1990 (or earlier) prices. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441/11 "2005-02-05T03:02:36Z")
I must confess… I’ve never met anyone who expressed any opinion of any kind about Miss Manners! In order to be hated by a large number of people, don’t people have to know or care who you are? ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441/12 "2005-02-05T03:32:35Z")
I’m in the Miss Manners is a hoot camp myself. I find her to be clever and insightful. ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441/13 "2005-02-05T08:53:50Z")
I don’t like it when my failings are pointed out, particularly in black and white. Miss Manners does that. Some people take that as a personal affront rather than an opportunity to better themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441/14 "2005-02-05T09:17:13Z")
Being in a room with her would be my version of hell. Then again, being in a room with me would probably be her version of hell. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441/15 "2005-02-05T16:04:05Z")
I suspect that the third person this seperates “Miss Manners” from Judith Martin. Ms. Martin strikes me as a classy and well mannered lady, but as a well mannered lady she realizes that telling people they have bad manners is, well…bad manners. However, that is precisely what Miss Manners is employed to do. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441/16 "2005-02-05T16:11:24Z")
I love Miss Manner’s way of dispensing practical advice with style. Two favorite quotes: Could you give me a polite way of letting a friend know she’s gained too much weight? Could you give me a polite reason for wanting to do so? What do you say when introduced to a gay “couple”? “How do you do?” “How do you do?” ---
**Author:** ![Fanny\_May](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3be4f8/32.png) [@Fanny\_May](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fanny_May)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441/17 "2005-02-05T16:27:59Z")
I hate it when she lets snoots get away with being distainful. I hate the way people write to her with absurd questions like “Why is it now proper behavior to ask for donations in an invitation? I just got one …” She never manages to tell them "Not everything that happens to you is ‘now proper behavior’ - If someone mugged you, would you write to me ‘Why is mugging now proper behavior?’ " ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441/18 "2005-02-05T16:28:18Z")
Up until seeing this thread, it never occured to me that there might be people who _hated_ Miss Manners. But yeah, I guess I can see how people who don’t like being held to certain standards of behavior might not like her. The “pretentiousness,” the occasionally old-fashioned or high-falutin’ language, the know-it-all persona (not unlike that of another columnist we all know and love around here 😉 )—they’re all part of her schtick. I, too, think she’s a hoot (and a great writer), but I can see how people with no sense of humor might disagree. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441/19 "2005-02-05T19:19:00Z")
> [@Carnac the Magnificent!](#): > > FWIW, The Washington Post, I believe, did a story on her about 15 years ago. She was at a book signing and, IIRC, either left her purse and silk scarf in a cab, or misplaced them. > > IIRC, she reported that her purse cost about $550 and the scarf $250 or so. Those were 1990 (or earlier) prices. Just a question, not being snarky: Do you find a $550 purse to be pretentious? I ask because I see high school girls (at a public high school )with Kate Spade, Dooney & Bourke, Coach etc bags ALL the time and they don’t even have jobs. At least Miss Manners has a career and an income. I say more power to her! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441/20 "2005-02-05T19:25:20Z")
I love Miss Manners. And hey, if she can afford to spend that much on purses and scarves, why not? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-miss-manners/288441.md?page=2)