# Why do people hate sex work? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [January 4, 2001, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376 "2001-01-04T08:20:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376/141 "2001-01-10T02:47:20Z")
Norma Jean is a “happy hooker”, and is just as motivated to view prostitution in a certain light (a positive light) as some others are motivated to view it in a negative light. > [@](#): > > _wring wrote:_ > > You keep telling us that “street walkers are not the only prositutes” - yes, of course we know that, however, you keep assuring us that they are (and here you give a number) only 10% of the prostitutes. Bull. Let’s see the documentation. We’ve heard your assurances, based on your step mom’s life. I’m on the line here - I would believe that the high end call girl type accounts for no more than 10% of the total number, certainly world wide, probably also in the US. Now, I would consider the person who hangs out on the streets and does the client either in the street or in the local 2-hour Inn to be a street worker. and I would believe that they account for roughly 90% of the prostitution trade. Lest you forget, **wring’s** opinions are based on his own observations. He knows many prostitutes as well - you’re not the only one who knows prostitutes here. His opinion is based on first-hand knowledge. He has greatly differing viewpoints than you do. Why should we believe your spin on things, and not his? And, unless I am mistaken, I don’t believe you’ve answered or refuted many of **wring’s** comments or statements. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376/142 "2001-01-10T02:51:37Z")
regarding the structure of this debate thus far and your view vs. mine… What it looks like to me is this: Me: Why do so many people hate broccoli? You (and others): Well, Broccoli tastes disgusting. And it’s also poisonous and turns your lips green. Me: Well, maybe you find it disgusting, but actually it’s not at all poisonous and it doesn’t turn your lips green. My mom grows it and I eat it all the time, so do lots of other people. We sell many tons of it. No one has ever developed green lips, and no one has gotten sick. There’s a fair amount of people who think it tastes pretty bad, though. So we don’t sell it to them. You: So? Your stepmother has special immunity to the poison! That doesn’t mean it isn’t poisonous! stoid ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376/143 "2001-01-10T02:58:50Z")
Hmmm…whose viewpoint to believe…wring’s or Stoid’s. Both have met and know prostitues. Tough call. But I think I’ll go with wring. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376/144 "2001-01-10T03:48:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stoidela \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Jodi \* > > \*\* I said (and say) that you present anecdote instead of fact \*\* > > At least I have anecdotal evidence from the actual people involved, you present nothing at all that proves you “know” what prostitutes and their johns are \* feeling \*. You just make pronouncements based on your opinion of their lifestyles. \*\* You refuse to pay attention. Several of us have explained to you why we find prostitution disgusting. You disagree, great. But you’ve not given us any information that would change our minds. > [@](#): > > \*\* > Yeah, what would a prostitiute know about her own life, right? Much less thousands of prostitutes that Norma Jean has known personally. I’ve known dozens. \*\* Who cares whether they’re happy about their occupation or not? It doesn’t make it any less disgusting. > [@](#): > > \*\* > And by the way, there is no “generally” in regards to experience \*\* Sure there are. Most people who are shot “generally” say it was a bad experience. Most people who go to Disney World “generally” have a positive experience. > [@](#): > > \*\* > Re: Melissa Farley is anti prostitution and was looking for negative information. \*\* Menewhile Norma Jean is pro prostitution an looks for positive information. Wow, what a shock. Marc ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376/145 "2001-01-10T03:57:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stoidela \* > \*\*regarding the structure of this debate thus far and your view vs. mine… > > What it looks like to me is this: > > Me: Why do so many people hate broccoli? > > You (and others): Well, Broccoli tastes disgusting. And it’s also poisonous and turns your lips green. \*\* Sex and brocolli aren’t the same thing are they? Oh wait, it is perfectly ok for you to use an analogy. You: Why do so many people hate prostitution? Me: Because the idea of having sex with hundreds or thousands of men per year is disgusting. It increases the risk of contracting an STD and it cheapens an act which is very intimate for most people. No, the stats you provided didn’t show us that prostitutes had a lower risk of STDs. It just showed us that the general population is more likely to get STDs from another source. Probaby because the general population doesn’t frequent hookers. You: Well, maybe you find it disgusting, but actually it’s not really all that bad and many women actually enjoy it. Me: Who care about how they feel about it? I don’t think anyone but you has made a big deal out of some people enjoying it. It is disgusting regardless of how they feel about being a whore. Marc ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376/146 "2001-01-10T05:11:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wring \* > \*\*So, while I don’t know the Heidi Fliech set, I certainly knew the ones hanging out at the street corners in urban areas. > > The very real world in which I live, the great majority of the people selling their bodies are doing so to cover a drug habit (theirs or some SO’s), etc. in a place where it is not only illegal, but morally repugnant to many of the people that care for them. > \*\* I’d say your familiarity with prostitutes is confined, by your own admission, to the segment of the sex worker population that \* we all agree \* is the grimmest, most unhappy. Again, not really a balanced view of the whole profession. Also, let us not forget that a great deal of my argument here is that if we \* stop \* despising prostitutes and what they do, perhaps they wouldn’t be so damn miserable? Gay people used to (and sometimes still do) despise themselves and be miserable people. Now that the society has started to wake up and stop treating gay people like scum, they don’t feel so scummy anymore. Sure streetwalkers feel scummy… how about we stop treating them that way, eh? What skin off our noses is it? Does it \* help anyone or anything \* treat sex work and sex workers like scum? Because if it does I just don’t see it. > [@](#): > > \*\* > Now, I would consider the person who hangs out on the streets and does the client either in the street or in the local 2-hour Inn to be a street worker. and I would believe that they account for roughly 90% of the prostitution trade. > \*\* You are right about your description of the street worker, just wrong about the number. The off-street workers are those who get their clients by means other than “walking the street”, hello. Brothels, massage parlors, escort, outcall. That represents 85-90% of prostitutes. > [@](#): > > \*\* > “haven’t thought honestly about it”. What gall. How dare you presume to tell me or anyone else here that we 'haven’t thought about it honestly", while also chiding us for ‘being judgemental’ about other people. > \*\* Uh, Wring…I hate to break it to ya, but you made this one up all on your own! It followed you quoting me saying this: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ME \* \*\* > (stoid)I don’t believe that. But many people have said precisely that. And some people probably have not thought about it much, and perhaps if they did they would realize that what they are reacting to is the idea of doing it themselves, not the idea of anyone doing it. > \*\* You took the words “some people have probably not thought about it much” and magically transformed them into “haven’t thought honestly about it”, complete with quotes, TWICE, even. This does call into question the accuracy of your reporting, I’m afraid. If you can’t accurately recall what you are looking directly at, well… I’m afraid I’ll have to keep the salt close by when I read what you write in the future. > [@](#): > > ## \*\* (stoid)By this reasoning, none of us should care one way or another if we ever had sex with another person. And most of us very much do. Perhaps not for you, but most people find sex with oneself vs sex with someone else to be very different experiences. > > nice personal attack there. > \*\* No personal attack intended. You were equating masturbation and sexual congress with another as being equally satisfying sexual outlets. Or at least, it appeared that way to me. > [@](#): > > \*\* > I’ve not even joined in on the nasty comments about your dad and step mom. > \*\* Were you looking for points that you refrained from making nasty remarks when you coulda? Well, ok, you get a point. Other things in your posts I have answered in posts to other people. I have been devoting many hours to this, I’m not going to repeat myself to each individual unless they say something substantially different that needs addressing. stoid ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376/147 "2001-01-10T05:53:08Z")
> [@](#): > > _wring wrote:_ > The very real world in which I live, the great majority of the people selling their bodies are doing so to cover a drug habit (theirs or some SO’s), etc. in a place where it is not only illegal, but morally repugnant to many of the people that care for them. > > _Stoidela replied:_ > > I’d say your familiarity with prostitutes is confined, by your own admission, to the segment of the sex worker population that \* we all agree \* is the grimmest, most unhappy. Again, not really a balanced view of the whole profession. I cannot answer for wring, but as others have already pointed out - why should we believe that _your_ viewpoint and perspective on prostitution is more accurate and more representative of the norm, rather than wring’s? > [@](#): > > Also, let us not forget that a great deal of my argument here is that if we \* stop \* despising prostitutes and what they do, perhaps they wouldn’t be so damn miserable? I don’t see anyone here advocating being cruel or discriminating against prostitution. Or “despising” them, personally, and treating them like crap. I think the definition of “do not respect” and “oppress” has already been covered. No one advocates oppression, or the despising of prostitutes as individuals. Hell, many people her have advocated legalizing prostitution and regulating it. But they _still don’t, and **won’t** respect the profession, or the concept of it._ You can’t insist that people respect something they find reprehensible. No matter how many times you tell us how happy your step mother was to be a prostitute. > [@](#): > > _wring wrote:_ > > Now, I would consider the person who hangs out on the streets and does the client either in the street or in the local 2-hour Inn to be a street worker. and I would believe that they account for roughly 90% of the prostitution trade. > > _Stoidela replies_: > > You are right about your description of the street worker, just wrong about the number. > > The off-street workers are those who get their clients by means other than “walking the street”, hello. Brothels, massage parlors, escort, outcall. That represents 85-90% of prostitutes. Cite, please? And, even if this is so, could you provide a cite that convinces us that 85 - 90% of all people selling their bodies for sex are very happy, fulfilled, and comfortable with it? > [@](#): > > Other things in your posts I have answered in posts to other people. I have been devoting many hours to this, I’m not going to repeat myself to each individual unless they say something substantially different that needs addressing. In other words: you are not convincing us because you have not providing us with any compelling _evidence_ that would sway us to start _respecting_ this profession. Oh, I know I am “invisible” to you, Stoid, so I know I won’t get any substantive response from you. (Very convenient, that.) But everyone else will read what I write. And everyone else, almost without exception, has not been convinced, after _THREE_ pages of you trying to convince us. A lot of intelligent, articulate, free-thinking people (oh no, I would not include myself in that crowd! 😃 ) are not convinced by your brilliant arguments and persuasive evidence. But it must be all _their_ fault - _their_ prejudices that are preventing them from “seeing the light”. Yeah. That must be it. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376/148 "2001-01-10T05:53:37Z")
Well, Norma Jean sent me 25 pages of material from a sex worker discussion group. I’m obviously not going to post it all here, but I’ll share some pertinent quotes. (All of this is in response to Jodi’s objections that I only offer Norma Jean as any kind of proof that perhaps not all prostitutes hate what they do, etc. etc.) All the following quotes are from sex workers, primarily prostitutes. This is from a sex worker who was writing to protest an article about Melissa Farley’s study (The one you quote, jodi. They were up in arms about it.) Partial quotes: “Spinthecat” wrote: - "Now, to show you the level of Farley’s incompetence as a researcher, I will describe the study she conducted in 1995. At the beginning of the study she stated that she conducted a survey with 130 prostitutes she contacted on the streets of San Francisco. She explained that the areas from which she drew what is called, to use the terminology of researchers, her “sample,” were all areas in which the prostitutes were known to be primarily homeless, drug- addicted, and trafficked. She then took a survey of these people and, surprise, the statistics showed that they were primarily homeless, drug- addicted, and trafficked. This is not credible research. It should not be published as such. She suggested that this state of affairs, which is in fact quite horrible to contemplate and ought to rouse many to activism on behalf of these people, showed that prostitution ought to continue to be illegal-and I suggest that the arrests and subsequent records of these people do nothing to contribute to their ability to move out of prostitution and into the legal job market they may wish to enter. She then described the effects of the Stockholm Syndrome, a condition in which hostages come to identify with their captors, as well as the symptoms of post- traumatic stress disorder, and then compared them to the findings in her “study.” By this she intended to prove that these prostitutes are captives in some kind of war. In fact, they are; an economic war. The conditions endemic to the Stockholm Syndrome are remarkably similar to the conditions of urban poverty. And the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder are remarkably similar to the effects of living in constant fear of arrest. Her research methods are shoddy, although they obviously involve a lot of field work. Her reporting is unethical (biased), and her conclusions are illogical. I suggest that the ethics of journalism (I am a member of the Society of Professional Journalists and know what those ethics are) be applied to journalism about sex workers. Very few newspaper articles bother to report more than one side when it comes to sex work (which is not to say that there are only two sides). Most articles smirk and sneer at sex workers (the best we can expect most of the time is a bit of “Aren’t they cute when they try to talk”), or righteously support those whose biased comments indicate an interest in the status quo. " \* Kate writes: - “I agree and I think its also a funding issue. There is so little funding out there anyway, especially for individuals who want to do a very nuanced study of a behavior. The media prefers soundbites and information that doesn’t challenge ways of thinking, and studies that are likely to make ‘news’ are more likely to be funded. I know that when I was working in sociology, I was frequently encouraged to write about dancing as ‘deviant behavior’ and even offered funding for this. I turned it down and switched disciplines! 🙂 People who really want to critique the legal system or the medical system or the huge problems of poverty have difficulty getting funded. And AIDS is another example–there is lots of money to ‘study AIDS’ but it rarely goes to the people who offer the most sophisticated analyses” \* (Apparantly this sex worker worked as a sociologist and freely chose sex work instead! Imagine that! Not as unusual as you might imagine.) From an associated Press article being quoted in the email exchange: "Veronica Monet, a 38-year-old prostitute who works out of a downtown San Francisco apartment building, took issue with the findings. `My job is stressful and my job has bad days, but it's way better than anybody else's I know,'' she said. `The most stressful thing about my job is that it’s illegal.’’ Ms. Monet, a college graduate with a degree in psychology, said that when prostitutes who work the streets are the ones surveyed, ``what you get are people who are addicted to drugs, getting beaten by their pimps or boyfriends.’’ Bottom line is that everyone is free, certainly, to hold whatever opinions they like about prostitution and other sex work. But the Straight Dope is, we are often reminded, about fighting ignorance. And while it is not ignorant to have an opinion about sex work, it does not follow that you understand who sex workers are, that you have perfect clarity about the relationships between sex workers and clients, or that you know how they feel. Especially when the “you” in question has virtually zero knowledge of sex workers or prosititutes. As for Norma Jean’s bias, which is acknowledged by NJ herself (although she does not even try to deny that there is an ugly side to sex work and that it is dreadful for some women. Neither have I.), that bias exists because of the truth of what I’m saying: Norma Jean is but one of many women who are perfectly happy with their choice. They have made it freely. It is not a miserable, debasing experience for them. They don’t view it the way you do. It IS a positive experience for them…all NJ and others are trying to do is get that message out there. Stoid ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376/149 "2001-01-10T05:56:31Z")
Uh, that should be: I don’t see anyone here advocating being cruel or discriminating against **prostitutes.** ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376/150 "2001-01-10T06:51:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Norma Jean is but one of many women who are perfectly happy with their choice. They have made it freely. It is not a miserable, debasing experience for them. They don’t view it the way you do. It IS a positive experience for them…all NJ and others are trying to do is get that message out there. > > Stoid > \*\* What difference do their feelings make? It is still a disgusting occupation. Marc ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376/151 "2001-01-10T07:02:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MGibson \* > > What difference do their feelings make? It is still a disgusting occupation. > \*\* Yes, Marc, so you feel, so you think, and so you’ve said about 4 times already. That is your opinion and you are entitled to it. stoid ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376/152 "2001-01-10T07:30:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stoidela \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by MGibson \* > > > > What difference do their feelings make? It is still a disgusting occupation. > > \*\* > > Yes, Marc, so you feel, so you think, and so you’ve said about 4 times already. That is your opinion and you are entitled to it. > > stoid \*\* So what’s the big problem with people not respecting prostitutes or prostitution? Why does it bother you so much? I don’t understand why our opinions should be based on how prostitutes feel about their occupation. Marc ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376/153 "2001-01-10T08:37:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MGibson \* > \*\* > So what’s the big problem with people not respecting prostitutes or prostitution? Why does it bother you so much? I don’t understand why our opinions should be based on how prostitutes feel about their occupation. > > \*\* That was not the assertion, I invite you to reread the thread in its entirety. Many different issues and opinons have been raised. Among them is the assertion, by persons who are in no position to know one way or another, that prostitutes do not enjoy waht they do, have no choice in the matter, have no self-respect or honor, and do not care about their clients. I am offering evidence to the contrary. stoid ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376/154 "2001-01-10T08:42:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MGibson \* > \*\* Why does it bother you so much? > \*\* Also, it bothers me because I see that people are frequently basing their opinions on an incomplete understanding of what prostitution actually is, how it works, who is practicing it. As I’ve said, I think it would be healthier for our society as a whole if we legalized prostitution and began to be more accepting of all forms of sex work, prostitution included. I believe that reviling sex workers is counterproductive, even destructive. There is nothing positive to be gained from such attitudes, while there is good to be gained in changing them. stoid ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376/155 "2001-01-10T08:43:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stoidela \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by MGibson \* > > \*\* > > So what’s the big problem with people not respecting prostitutes or prostitution? Why does it bother you so much? I don’t understand why our opinions should be based on how prostitutes feel about their occupation. > > > > \*\* > > That was not the assertion, I invite you to reread the thread in its entirety. Many different issues and opinons have been raised. Among them is the assertion, by persons who are in no position to know one way or another, that prostitutes do not enjoy waht they do, have no choice in the matter, have no self-respect or honor, and do not care about their clients. I am offering evidence to the contrary. > > stoid \*\* And I’m sure you can re-read and see that you’ve not offered any evidence. Other then “This person I know says so” which really isn’t very good evidence. It’d be like me saying I know all about the cavalry simply because my dad was in the army. I do ask again though. Why are you so concerned that most people seem to look down at prostitutes? Marc ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376/156 "2001-01-10T08:53:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MGibson \* > \*\* > > And I’m sure you can re-read and see that you’ve not offered any evidence. Other then “This person I know says so” which really isn’t very good evidence. It’d be like me saying I know all about the cavalry simply because my dad was in the army. \*\* Well, Marc, I can only say it so many times. Seems that’s what you want to see and believe. I’m not going to stress out repeating myself for your benefit when you have no intention of listening. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MGibson \* > \*\* > I do ask again though. Why are you so concerned that most people seem to look down at prostitutes? > \*\* Like I said…ain’t gonna keep repeating myself. later stoid ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376/157 "2001-01-10T09:04:14Z")
You are repeating yourself to a lot of intelligent, articulate and generally liberal-thinking people here. (No, once again, I would not presume to put myself in that category! :D) And even though you huff and you puff, and repeat yourself, they are not convinced. And these are intelligent people. So, I guess it could be all _their_ fault that they are not convinced by your repeated insistences, or it could be that: 1. Your moral viewpoint on this issue are not going to be embraced by the majority of the people here. No matter how many times you repeat yourself, or repeat that your stepmother was happy. 2. You have not presented enough compelling evidence. 3. You have not argued, explained, nor rationalized your case effectively. 4. All of the above. I vote for #4. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376/158 "2001-01-10T14:55:23Z")
> [@](#): > > while there is good to be gained in changing them. We are still waiting for you to tell us what that “good” is. You have yet to offer anything other than “because Norma Jean says so” that shows prostitution to be an honorable occupation worthy of respect. Until then, the majority will continue in our belief that it is a disgustingly icky practice performed by pathetic, sad, souless individuals, to include the happy, sunshiny, classy (har har) Norma Jean. You have yet to offer a convincing argument that getting fucked for $10,000 is more honorable than getting fucked for $10. Having a dick put in you for money, is having a dick put in you for money, no matter how “high class” you claim to be. Sorry you have such a hard time accepting that. > [@](#): > > I invite you to reread the thread in its entirety. Oh this is choice, especially coming from someone who claims hookers exploit their johns and then a few posts later says they do not. I invite YOU to reread the thread in its entirety. Are you a hooker Stoid? No? Why not? ---
**Author:** ![Eft](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@Eft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eft)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376/159 "2001-01-10T15:51:06Z")
**Stoidela** , I’m one of the “legalize it” crowd, I am personally acquainted with some (former) prostitutes, my sister is a former sex worker, and I am undisturbed by the fact that the EftSpouse patronized a house regularly when he lived in Germany before we met. Would I hook? Not unless I had to, but that’s true for a lot of jobs. I’m a good lover and a good listening ear, too, but I prefer to perform those services gratis. But you’re a _terrible_ advocate for your position. I’ve read this thread with interest but have seen nothing but anecdotal evidence from you. I have to agree: you orginally asked why people felt uncomfortable with sex work, and some people told you. You then proceded to tell them that they were mistaken in their beliefs, even when those people have personal experience and/or studies that contradict your personal experience and/or studies. Of _course_ this pisses people off. So you’re offering the “Pretty Woman” view of prostitution: terrific. But don’t expect people who’ve seen a different side of prostitution to instantly believe you just because your stepmother is an activist for COYOTE or a like group and has studies to support her position. If you’re going to argue persuasively, then you’ll have to acknowledge your bias and provde more balance. Maybe you feel balanced, but it sure doesn’t come across that way. ---
**Author:** ![Nurlman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Nurlman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nurlman)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376/160 "2001-01-10T16:12:50Z")
At the risk of picking up the horse’s carcass and putting on a puppet show with it, I’m going to attempt to put this train back on the track. **Stoid** , your initial premise was that the public has an unfounded belief “that there is something fundamentally wrong” with prostitution. (Yes, you started with “sex work,” but you’re going to have to defend the hardest case, which is prostitution.) Your argument essentially revolves around the fact that some people consider sex to be a non-intimate “recreational” activity, and should therefore have a right to commodify it. **Jodi** , **MGibson** , **Diane** , and **yosemitiebabe** , among others, have all explained that the premise-- that they (and many others) **do** consider sex to be an intimate activity that is debased by commodification-- that underlies society’s general opposition to prostitution. In order to convince them that prostitution is an occupation that should enjoy public support (or at least not public scorn), you’re going to have to convince them that the physical act of sex should not be cloaked with such reverence. If you can mount a convincing argument that the physical act of sex is as morally neutral as kicking a football, and that it is only the emotional connection between the two (or more?) parties that gives the act its significance, you might have a shot at winning this one. For what it’s worth, while I can intellectally believe that the physical sexual act is nothing more than the intersection of body parts, I am unable to divorce it from its intrisically intimate nature. Many women profess discomfort in going to the gynecologist because they are uncomfortable with a stranger looking at or touching an intimate area. If you believe that physical contact is morally neutral, then (barring quibbles about number of nerve endings and whatnot) a blowjob is no different than having someone lick your arm. Obviously, this is not the case. People are inclined to think intimately of their genitals, and are thus likely to attach an emotional significance to what they do with them. Even the old chestnut about porn stars and prostitutes refusing to kiss anyone but their boyfriends on the lips reflects the fact that sex workers themselves are not completely able to detach emotional intimacy from their physical acts. If you really want to convince people that the public should recognize the legitimacy of prostitution, you’re going to have to make some major inroads on this front. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-hate-sex-work/48376.md?page=9)