# Why do people in the US get leis at graduation? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 15, 2020, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-in-the-us-get-leis-at-graduation/923042 "2020-10-15T20:49:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Didi44](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47c2d/32.png) [@Didi44](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Didi44)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-in-the-us-get-leis-at-graduation/923042/41 "2020-10-16T16:33:19Z")
Is it traditional to give flower bouquets at graduation? Is it gender neutral? I know giving bouquets if done in Asia. Also, are leis only for graduation? Here, we give them for other events, particularly going away or retirement.If someone is wearing a lei, they’re usually asked, “Oh, is it your birthday?” or “Are you leaving?” ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-in-the-us-get-leis-at-graduation/923042/42 "2020-10-16T16:41:00Z")
Around here pretty much only at graduation. I’ve always suspected that another driving force behind them is the “participation trophy” idea. At our school, a substantial number of the graduates will be wearing, in addition to the cap and gown, various and sundry honor cords, honor sashes, honor “toilet seat covers,” etc. ASB, Drama, Band, AVID, CSF, NFL, and a dozen other organizations have approved neckwear for graduation. If you aren’t a joiner or top student, you can look a little “plain.” a lei or three at least shows that your family loves you, joiner or not. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-in-the-us-get-leis-at-graduation/923042/43 "2020-10-16T16:42:15Z")
> [@Didi44](#): > > Also, are leis only for graduation? In most of the U.S., other times that there is a non-zero chance you will see someone wearing a lei: - At a Polynesian-themed restaurant or bar - New Year’s Eve (and they are typically very cheap plastic leis) - At a gathering of Jimmy Buffett fans, like below: [![](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/2f/95/f4/2f95f41cc8145c56862b987f772c6dc7.jpg) ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/2f/95/f4/2f95f41cc8145c56862b987f772c6dc7.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-in-the-us-get-leis-at-graduation/923042/44 "2020-10-16T16:44:59Z")
> [@Didi44](#): > > Is it traditional to give flower bouquets at graduation? Is it gender neutral? Traditional, but almost undoubtedly not universal. I would strongly suspect that it skews largely towards female recipients, which is generally true of flowers, as gifts, in the U.S. ---
**Author:** ![Didi44](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47c2d/32.png) [@Didi44](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Didi44)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-in-the-us-get-leis-at-graduation/923042/45 "2020-10-16T16:52:23Z")
Forgive me for being completely ignorant about this, but are graduates given gifts from non-family also? It’s an unspoken “rule” that the cost of the lei is subtracted from the gift, at least in my family. So if you allocate $20 for the graduate, you can either get a $5 lei (I don’t think they’re that cheap anymore) and a $15 gift or a $20 lei. This is where the money lei comes in. Two in one! ---
**Author:** ![Didi44](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47c2d/32.png) [@Didi44](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Didi44)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-in-the-us-get-leis-at-graduation/923042/46 "2020-10-16T17:03:28Z")
Another question. Are there events where receiving armfuls of flower bouquets traditionally done? For me, giving a lei is something that’s just done with women and me… Giving someone a flower bouquet for any occasion is much more personal. Also, some people wear resuable leis just to adorn their clothing or sometimes in remembrance of the maker. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-in-the-us-get-leis-at-graduation/923042/47 "2020-10-16T17:06:13Z")
> [@Didi44](#): > > Forgive me for being completely ignorant about this, but are graduates given gifts from non-family also? There’s likely no one answer to your question, when it comes to the U.S. _Typically_, gifts to graduates are largely given by their family, but it certainly wouldn’t be unusual for friends of the family (or friends of the graduate) to give a gift. That said, it wouldn’t surprise me if there’s regional variation to this, as well as maybe some variation among families or communities who are recent immigrants, or otherwise have strong cultural ties to other countries. ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-in-the-us-get-leis-at-graduation/923042/48 "2020-10-16T22:48:04Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > I would strongly suspect that it skews largely towards female recipients, which is generally true of flowers, as gifts, in the U.S. I’ve been to several graduations in the last few years, and I didn’t notice that ti skewed female. It’s possible I just didn’t notice, but leis on men weren’t unusual. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-in-the-us-get-leis-at-graduation/923042/49 "2020-10-16T22:49:39Z")
> [@Yookeroo](#): > > I’ve been to several graduations in the last few years, and I didn’t notice that ti skewed female. It’s possible I just didn’t notice, but leis on men weren’t unusual. Note that I was responding to a question about whether giving bouquets at graduations was gender-neutral, not leis in particular. ---
**Author:** ![Didi44](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47c2d/32.png) [@Didi44](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Didi44)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2020, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-in-the-us-get-leis-at-graduation/923042/50 "2020-10-17T02:27:50Z")
I goofed on my post above. I meant to say that I’ll gave a lei both women and men, though flower leis are generally reserved for women. Men’s leis are usually maile leaves or kukui nut. ---
**Author:** ![PoppaSan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/poppasan/32/189_2.png) [@PoppaSan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoppaSan)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2020, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-in-the-us-get-leis-at-graduation/923042/51 "2020-10-17T16:23:11Z")
> [@Didi44](#): > > Another question. Are there events where receiving armfuls of flower bouquets traditionally done? For me, giving a lei is something that’s just done with women and me… Giving someone a flower bouquet for any occasion is much more personal. My daughter’s dance recitals, music recitals, school plays, confirmation. I expect huge volumes if she meets some type of medical or lethal mishap. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-in-the-us-get-leis-at-graduation/923042.md?page=2)