# Why do people intentionally disguise the gender of their "partners"?

**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-intentionally-disguise-the-gender-of-their-partners/524671
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [January 12, 2010, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-intentionally-disguise-the-gender-of-their-partners/524671 "2010-01-12T16:18:15Z")
**Posts on this page:** 1
**Page:** 5

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### Author: ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2010, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-intentionally-disguise-the-gender-of-their-partners/524671/81 "2010-01-15T19:24:50Z")

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It’s interesting how the meaning of terms change over time. A couple of years ago, my dad’s partner died of cancer, and I’d be telling friends exactly that “my dad’s partner died of cancer.” Then I thought about it for a bit, and thought that perhaps some people would assume that Dad is gay. That’s perfectly fine if he is, but I think Mom might be a little upset after 40 years of marriage.

Now I try to be careful to say, “My dad’s _business partner_ died a few years ago.” Same for SpouseO - my husband’s started up a business with a co-worker of his, so I try to be careful to say “SpouseO’s business partner did this the other day.” If the context wasn’t clear and I didn’t insert “business” in there, I can see people wondering why Snicks talks about herself in the third person, I guess.

Here, I call SpouseO SpouseO, obviously. (Heck, I call him that to his face.) To my family and friends, I do call him “my Dave” sometimes to differentiate him from my brother Dave - having a common name can often suck.

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