# Why do people "save seats"? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 10, 2004, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078 "2004-11-10T20:54:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078/21 "2004-11-11T01:50:23Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > So get to the lecture theatre first and save _THE WHOLE THING!!_. > > “You can’t sit there - it’s saved! Nope, that one is saved too! Sorry, dito for that one!” > > Hehe. Am I the only person who thinks this would be really funny? No, I love this. I can hear your voice echoing in the empty hall as you shout at the person trying to sit down 9 rows back and 14 to the left “Nope, I saved that one too! Sorry!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078/22 "2004-11-11T01:51:06Z")
Once the ex and I went to see a reading by Douglas Adams. We got there fairly early, but it was still jammed. Her back was acting up, and she really needed to sit, but the only spot was on the floor, right next to where we were standing. She started to ease her way down, and the woman sitting next to the spot said “You can’t sit there, that’s for my friend!” I told her my wife’s back hurt, but she didn’t care. “That’s for my friend!” OK, whatever. We waited about ten minutes, and the place was wall-to-wall, the throng extending far past the door. I figured if the friend even showed at this point, she wasn’t getting past the crowd anyway, so I got Mrs. Model on the floor. This woman practically threw a fit! “That’s my friend’s! You can’t take my friend’s seat!” After the reading, I asked her “Did your friend ever show up?” Probably should have kept my mouth shut - I thought she was going to hit me. ---
**Author:** ![Abbie\_Carmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Abbie\_Carmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abbie_Carmichael)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078/23 "2004-11-11T01:51:09Z")
> [@Bearflag70](#): > > The “gay seat” is when two people go to a movie and refuse to sit in adjacent seats because that would be “gay”. They leave an empty seat between them: the “gay seat”. I see guys do that in the movies all the time. The only time I’ve ever seen two guys sitting together is when they’re a couple (yes, you can tell, holding hands is a dead giveaway). Females always seem to sit together, though, with no spaces. I’ve never been in a 100% packed movie theater so I wonder if guys drop the “rules” in that circumstance or do they wait for another showing? Could it be that people just want some space, though? Americans especially are all about that invisible bubble of air and not into the breathing down someone’s neck thing. If I went to the movies with one of my female friends, we’d probably sit with a seat between us if the place wasn’t crowded so we could have a “popcorn & purses” seat. ---
**Author:** ![pizzabrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078/24 "2004-11-11T01:59:52Z")
> [@Abbie Carmichael](#): > > Could it be that people just want some space, though? Americans especially are all about that invisible bubble of air and not into the breathing down someone’s neck thing. No, it’s because they’re stupid enough to let homophobia run their _own_ lives. It’s the same reason why idiots like that take up the entire sidewalk walking eight feet apart from each other. If it were about being American and wanting space, then why wouldn’t women do that crap too? ---
**Author:** ![DadWagonDriver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/edb3f5/32.png) [@DadWagonDriver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DadWagonDriver)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078/25 "2004-11-11T02:08:28Z")
> [@pizzabrat](#): > > No, it’s because they’re stupid enough to let homophobia run their _own_ lives. It’s the same reason why idiots like that take up the entire sidewalk walking eight feet apart from each other. If it were about being American and wanting space, then why wouldn’t women do that crap too? So I use a buffer seat (only term I’ve ever known for it) because I’m a homophobe? Huh. The only time I don’t use a buffer seat is when I’m with A) my fiancee, or B) one of my parents. Man, woman, alien, dog, I don’t care. Unless there is no other seat available, don’t sit next to me. I don’t like it. ---
**Author:** ![pizzabrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078/26 "2004-11-11T02:13:31Z")
> [@wmulax93](#): > > So I use a buffer seat (only term I’ve ever known for it) because I’m a homophobe? Huh. > > The only time I don’t use a buffer seat is when I’m with A) my fiancee, or B) one of my parents. Man, woman, alien, dog, I don’t care. Unless there is no other seat available, don’t sit next to me. I don’t like it. And you are? Do you know why those seats were manufactured and bought and installed into the theaters? To SIT IN! Not so that princess can be assured a comfortable distance from actual people when she visits a public place. ---
**Author:** ![Merhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Merhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merhouse)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078/27 "2004-11-11T02:13:36Z")
Looks like I won’t be able to sit right next to my female friend when we go to the movies. I wouldn’t want anyone to think I’m straight 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Abbie\_Carmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Abbie\_Carmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abbie_Carmichael)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078/28 "2004-11-11T02:15:26Z")
> [@pizzabrat](#): > > No, it’s because they’re stupid enough to let homophobia run their _own_ lives. It’s the same reason why idiots like that take up the entire sidewalk walking eight feet apart from each other. If it were about being American and wanting space, then why wouldn’t women do that crap too? Pfft. I hate to break it to you, but your average person doesn’t think about gays, homosexuality, etc. that much. I know some people on these boards want to believe that anyone remotely “homophobic” spends their every waking moment plotting how not to look gay and how to harass those who are gay, but it’s not happening. I’m sure there are a few nutsos out there who are like that, but the general populus, oh, has a life. The reason women don’t generally do it because we are generally more touchy feely than guys and probably have less need for a lot of personal space. Plus a lot of us are always cold and sitting among friends can keep you warmer. Plus, in general, women might be more concerned about looking “selfish” by taking up so many seats and thus will cram in to avoid inconveniencing anybody. ---
**Author:** ![DadWagonDriver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/edb3f5/32.png) [@DadWagonDriver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DadWagonDriver)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078/29 "2004-11-11T02:19:01Z")
> [@pizzabrat](#): > > And you are? Do you know why those seats were manufactured and bought and installed into the theaters? To SIT IN! Not so that princess can be assured a comfortable distance from actual people when she visits a public place. No, fucknut, that was sarcasm. And I’m a guy. Why should I sit right next to someone in a half-empty theater? If my living room has a couch and a chair, and a friend sits on the couch, I take the chair. Does that make me a homophobe? No, it makes me someone who likes a little bit of space. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078/30 "2004-11-11T02:19:59Z")
> [@pizzabrat](#): > > No, it’s because they’re stupid enough to let homophobia run their _own_ lives. It’s the same reason why idiots like that take up the entire sidewalk walking eight feet apart from each other. If it were about being American and wanting space, then why wouldn’t women do that crap too? Women _do_ do it. See my post above. As for why men do it, I think it’s for the same reason men won’t use two urinals side-by-side if they don’t have to. Robin ---
**Author:** ![pizzabrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078/31 "2004-11-11T02:23:40Z")
> [@Abbie Carmichael](#): > > Pfft. I hate to break it to you, but your average person doesn’t think about gays, homosexuality, etc. that much. I know some people on these boards want to believe that anyone remotely “homophobic” spends their every waking moment plotting how not to look gay and how to harass those who are gay, but it’s not happening. I’m sure there are a few nutsos out there who are like that, but the general populus, oh, has a life. Or so you’d think, but then there are “gay seats”. Come on, I’ve heard people in public saying stuff like “Don’t sit next to me, I’m not gay!” and I’m sure you have to, so don’t act like this is some narcissistic fantasy. ---
**Author:** ![Abbie\_Carmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Abbie\_Carmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abbie_Carmichael)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078/32 "2004-11-11T02:27:45Z")
> [@pizzabrat](#): > > Or so you’d think, but then there are “gay seats”. Some people call them gay seats. Quite a few of us in this thread had never heard the term until now, though. > [@](#): > > Come on, I’ve heard people in public saying stuff like “Don’t sit next to me, I’m not gay!” and I’m sure you have to, so don’t act like this is some narcissistic fantasy. Have I heard things like that? Sure. In high school. Since then? No. Maybe it’s the people where you live, rather than people in general who do that. ---
**Author:** ![pizzabrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078/33 "2004-11-11T02:29:30Z")
> [@wmulax93](#): > > No, fucknut, that was sarcasm. …? What was sarcasm? The whole thing? ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078/34 "2004-11-11T02:32:10Z")
Obviously, not everyone who leaves a gap between seats is doing so to avoid appearing gay. Some people, however – and not an insignifant number – do it for this exact reason, and none other. They know who they are. If you want a little space, that’s fine. If you’re afraid of an uncomfortable level of “gayness”, get over yourself. If I don’t know you, I can’t tell which set of reasons you’re following, but rest assured that if the only available seat is between you and someone else, regardless of gender, I _will_ be placing myself in it. You do not have the inalienable right to more than one seat in a public place. If you don’t like me sitting next to you because you think it’s “gay”, again, get over yourself. If you don’t like it because you don’t like being that close to people…well, you can either ignore it, or else avoid attending events (such as the first week of a popular movie) where you stand a decent chance of being placed in close proximity to others. The choice is yours. ---
**Author:** ![caligynephobia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7feea3/32.png) [@caligynephobia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caligynephobia)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078/35 "2004-11-11T02:37:16Z")
Hmm. I’ve always heard it called man-spacing, applying to theater seats and urinals. In fact, I witnessed it this morning - an auditorium full of military pilots occupying every other seat. Twice as many seats as we needed. ---
**Author:** ![DadWagonDriver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/edb3f5/32.png) [@DadWagonDriver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DadWagonDriver)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078/36 "2004-11-11T02:59:18Z")
> [@Roland Orzabal](#): > > If you don’t like it because you don’t like being that close to people…well, you can either ignore it, or else avoid attending events (such as the first week of a popular movie) where you stand a decent chance of being placed in close proximity to others. The choice is yours. I agree with this. Hell, if I’m leaving a buffer seat (again, that’s what I’ve always called it) and the auditorium gets too full, I tell my friend to sit next to me. I’d rather sit next to a friend than a stranger. But, I stand by my living room analogy. If there is ample seating, there is no reason to sit in the adjacent seat to someone else. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078/37 "2004-11-11T03:42:07Z")
I only ever save seats if my friend is there to begin with, but then leaves to use the bathroom, buy popcorn, or something like that. I’ll leave my coat or bag there, or he/she will, and I figure it’s fine because there is an actual person who _will_ be coming back to sit there. I never walk into a place alone and drape myself over a half dozen seats to save them for my friends who are _supposed_ to show up. I always wait for my group to get there, then we go in together and try to find seats. I hate people who are alone and pretend to be saving seats so that they don’t have to sit next to anyone. And ‘buffer’ seats are a pain in the ass when small groups of people sit one empty seat away from each other. You end up with a packed theater with only single seats here and there, so a couple can’t sit together. And asking these people to please all shift over one seat always results in a delightful case of rolleyes and grumbling. ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078/38 "2004-11-11T04:03:01Z")
> [@Abbie Carmichael](#): > > Plus a lot of us are always cold and sitting among friends can keep you warmer. I know that theater seats are designed by engineers to be a) comfortable, b) pack as many people in as possible without making the audience feel crowded, c) provide acceptable sightlines to the performance but I had never figured d) passively keeping hypothermia at bay was one of them. Do you sit \*on \* your friends? ---
**Author:** ![SmackFu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@SmackFu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmackFu)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078/39 "2004-11-11T04:11:06Z")
> [@Abbie Carmichael](#): > > I’ve never been in a 100% packed movie theater so I wonder if guys drop the “rules” in that circumstance or do they wait for another showing? Usually, when it gets really full, someone sitting next to them will need one more seat. So they ask them to move over, instead of taking the single seat between them. And in that case, sitting in adjacent seats is OK, apparently. ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078/40 "2004-11-11T04:31:00Z")
> [@SmackFu](#): > > Usually, when it gets really full, someone sitting next to them will need one more seat. So they ask them to move over, instead of taking the single seat between them. And in that case, sitting in adjacent seats is OK, apparently. Because you’re not being gay then, someone asked you to move, so it’s all cool. I also don’t buy the “having two armrests” argument. I mean, when I was like 8 I would, but seriously. I’ve not noticed any difference with vs. without. Then again, maybe I have short arms. Not that I’m saying that the people who use the gay seat are necessarily trying to not act gay, that’s just the term I’ve always heard for it… Then again, I usually go to movies alone, when I know there won’t be many people there… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-people-save-seats/274078.md?page=3)