This is one aspect I always found exceedingly odd.
All the food you can handle! No problem, it’s included! A glass of Coke? Well hold on there, hold on…I said HOLD ON. Do you have the soda package you paid separately for? With the special drinking cup you have to carry around AND the wrist bracelet (can’t have anyone cheating on that, nosiree!) Oh, you don’t have all that? WELL! We are going to have to charge you $3.75 for that Coke.
Really? Seriously? Wut thu fu?
Some of that depends on the details- I live in NYC so no airfare or hotels for me. I went on a 7 day cruise in October- it was $599 (*) and $200 in port taxes each. So that’s $799 pp so far. The unlimited open bar was $99 for the week each( ended up being cheaper than the soda package) and we spent about $150 each on shore excursions. That’s around $950 each. Can’t remember how much the gratuities were, but not enough to bring it up to $5K for the two of us. Didn’t even lose enough gambling to bring it up to 5K.
Thank you for the answers, especially about the beer. 
It would bother me if they examined mouthwash.
We’ve been on two cruises. One on Norwegian to Alaska was fabulous. Food was fantastic, lots of things to do on board. I don’t know how much that one cost…it was a graduation present from Ivylad.
We took a three night cruise on Carnival to the Bahamas. It may have been the stress of the trip (we took along my dying MIL on her last trip) but we had so many things go wrong with the room. We won’t be doing Carnival again. I think we spent about $1400 for a balcony room.
I’ve been interested in the river cruises too.
We just got back from a cruise. We went Disney - our second, although we did another line and went to Mexico. Disney is/was the best, hands down, because there were tons of things to do (or lie by the pool and vegetate) and they weren’t trying to get us to gamble.
Since you ask
My word, yes. Just the two of us, no kids, no talk about work, no worries - just “where do you want to have lunch” or “let’s take in a movie”.
Yes. Nobody has to cook, everything is taken care of, no calls from work, no worries about anything.
That’s what money is for. We can afford it - I would rather have the time with the Lovely and Talented Mrs.Shodan than the money.
Heavens, yes. I don’t know how they train those Disney folks, but whatever they do, it works. Everybody smiles at you, everybody seems genuinely to want you to have a good time - it’s nice. And being an overgrown kid at heart, I like the Disney characters (I got my picture taken with Mickey Mouse, and my wife with Chip and Dale and Belle and the Beast). The shows are wonderful, there are all kinds of Disney movies, we took a cooking class, the private island was great fun - what’s not to like?
N/A. I am not a gambler. We could have gone to the casino in Nassau, but meh.
I liked the restaurants. We did more shopping in the Bahamas, where I found the two most garish Hawaiian shirts in the Caribbean, and bought both of them. Like I said, there are tons of things to do all day long.
Neither of us was tired out from work, and I got to see the Lovely and Talented Mrs. Shodan in her bathing suit. And we don’t have to get up in the morning.
Regards,
Shodan
We have yet to go on one. Part of the reason is I used to be paid be on ships so paying to be on one is a little strange for me. On pricing, from the cruises I’ve priced out the OP’s range doesn’t seem high especially as total for two people which is what would be relevant for us (though obviously you can pay $10k per person too) and including airfare, etc. as it applies. I’m sure you can pay less, but low end doesn’t appeal to me (far from a spendthrift, but if we were to do it at all we’d do it fairly high end).
I also wonder ‘compared to what’? One could take the implication from OP there’s some other type of vacation where there’s no question everyone should like it. But what would that be…road tripping, package tours to famous world destinations, air bnb DIY wandering, extreme hiking in Patagonia, stay home and watch TV? Likewise for if the cost ‘hurts’. That would seem to depend importantly how much money you have rather than just the nature of the vacation, though still would vary among people of given means.
Nm
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I have only been on one cruise, but I plan on doing one in 2018 (to Alaska)
In this case it is a special event cruise – board gaming. The organizer(boardgamegeek.com) rents the room and brings a bunch of games. When at sea or at night we play games.
I went in 2015 (Galveston-Jamaica-Grand Cayman-Cozumel-Galveston) on Royal Caribbean. It was a great experience. I didn’t gamble or do anything that cost extra money. A balcony was $1500/person which included the game room, port fees, taxes, and gratuities. I did pre-arrange a kayak rental on Grand Cayman but it was really windy so we declined (did tip the driver for the ride across the island and back). At Cozumel I walked to a nearby beach and went snorkeling.
I probably wouldn’t do a non gaming cruise
Brian
I used to work on a cruise ship, and you’ll find my “Ask The…” thread if you search. I’d encourage anyone considering a cruise vacation to do some due diligence before supporting the industry, and research the inherent environmental and social justice issues.
No big trick… We are leaving on one in a couple of weeks. 7 day balcony 779 each before taxes, and port fees, … after port fees and taxes of 179.16 each we are looking at 1916.32,plus 104 for gratuities, we are at 2020.32, so we will have drinks added to that, … if we do excursions that will obviously add to it, but usually just get off and look around, then back on ship and you about have it to yourselves.
If we wanted an interior cabin it would be drastically less than that even.
Closest space can be tight, yes. But my most recent cruise was on the Carnival Liberty. It’s an older ship - or it felt like it - and my room was about 200 square feet with a balcony suitable for two chairs and a small table for drinks. The bed was fine for two people, Queen sized, I guess. There was a separate couch to sit on as well as a vanity and such.
Not large, but not as small as some hotel rooms I’ve stayed in.
Carnival had a ‘one bottle per person in carry on’ policy for embarkation. It’s true that they stored the rum I bought until I disembarked. But it went duty free even when maybe it shouldn’t have, so there’s that.
I’ve never been on a cruise before, but my 2 cents:
It doesn’t necessarily cost $5-10k; it can be done for $1-2k if really cost-cutting.
People go on cruises repeatedly for the same reason they go to Disneyland repeatedly, or to the same forest/beach/hiking resort repeatedly. They like it enough to repeat it.
You can cruise to different destinations each time.
I went on this one in 2008, but on Carnival. It was a little weird because I went with three women who were old friends (I was work friends with one of them) so I was the odd person out to some extent, but I liked it. We had an excursion or two at each port (the rays at Grand Cayman are one of my favorite moments ever) and I enjoyed the food, poolside, and even the shows. I went to the fine art sale and the shopping tips presentation just for the curiosity of it. The dinners were nice (although I always prefer more casual eating in general).
I have a co-worker who goes on a couple of cruises a year. She is a gambler at Foxwoods and I think that gets her good deals on cruises. I can see the fun of it, seeing a number of places and not having to repack every time.
I did a Road Scholar (formerly Elderhostel) cruise through the Greek Islands and we had good weather up till the last day. Being sick convinced me to not try a smaller boat again. It’s also not anonymous enough for me with a small group like that. I would like to try a river cruise though since the boat is stable and you get to see a lot of places from one room.
I have friends who love the JoCo Cruises. From the way they talk about it and post on FaceBook, I gather it’s the entertainment that keeps them coming back at least once a year. They wanted me to go on one trip with them, but it really didn’t seem like my kind of thing.
What cruise line and what route? I’ll book the cabin next to yours. 
For giggles i looked at cruises, never been on one.
The only ones that interested me much were a bit expensive at $130,000 to $150,000
To be fair, everything including food, drinks, dry cleaning, spa, 24/7 butler, room service, shore trips and lodging was included.
And i picked an Owners Suite
And the cruises were between 140 and 180 days (couldn’t find any longer)
I dont think it included me and a steamer trunk getting to the boat.
Pretty sure it does not include a dance partner.
Closest i could find to one of those old turn of the century cruises(Last century turn, not the year 2000 one)
The ones where you were gone over a year and went on safaris and digs in egypt etc.
Boat better be full of some extremely interesting people to be stuck on it with them for 6 months though.
I could see doing it, if i was stupidly rich enough to bring my own entourage of people that wont bore me or piss me off too much.
Get used to it.
Yeah, I choose based on this. Over the last few years I’ve been lucky enough to take my kids to:
Barcelona
Palma de Mallorca
Rome
Naples
Pisa
Jamaica
Grand Cayman
Bahamas
Cozumel
They’ve now seen (at 16 and 12) the Leaning Tower, the Colosseum, the Vatican, Vesuvius, Pompeii, Duns River Falls, Tulum, and other stuff as well. It’s touristy but, hey, I’m a tourist.
I’ve gone thru this thread and have yet to see an actual benefit of going on a cruise that can’t be provided at least as well, and often a whole lot better than doing other options.
If I wanted to go to Barcelona, I’d fly there, spend a week+ and fly back. The % of the trip time spent at the actual destination is fantastically higher than on a cruise.
All inclusive resorts provide wait staff and activities. Plus you can leave the resort anytime to see other sights.
Booze is almost everywhere. Gambling is easily found now.
Shows better than what a cruise can put on are available in many cities.
And on and on.
What is it about a boat with 5000 other people that’s so flippin’ attractive to people???