Basically, because (a) the degree is not a joke; and (b) there is no such thing as “pure English”, not even for prescriptivists.
People don’t usually type conversationally, that is, how you might speak informally to others. Nothing’s stopping you from doing it, but conversation is filled with tone, dialect, slang and personality that rarely comes through in text. And when it doesn’t work (which is usually), you just end up sounding like a moron in the reader’s head.
d00d! u |` || 31337 h4x0r!!!111
Of course we use dialects here. Many of them, from wherever posters are from. You’re just used to it, like air, the way you smell, or your own accent.
There’s a difference between a dialect (which everyone has) and using nonstandard grammar and spelling so that you limit the size of the audience who understands what you’re writing. Leetspeak, txt lingo, abbreviations, jargon are all used to limit the audience to only a small group. As soon as you respond with “It’s spelled ‘you’, not ‘U’”, you out yourself as someone who isn’t in the in-group.
SDMB posters prefer (usually) to write for comprehension, rather than to exclude. Therefore we stick to standard grammar, punctuation, capitalization and spelling. Other online communities are different. But of course we all speak and write in our own dialects.
Me either, I’d love to see this “sophisticated elegance.”
You write like a crip, but I thought I read in another thread that you have blood ties.:dubious:
Count yourself lucky.
Now, where did I put that bottle of mind bleach?
Sounds like most of Twitter and Facebook.
Every now and then I stumble upon a book that writes the descriptions in regular english but the words coming out of people’s mouths is written the way they would be spoken - accent and all. I always find myself having to mouth the words on the page out loud to “get” what they’re saying because the spelling is phonetic and not “correct”. The most recent examples I can think of is the scottish in The Mote in God’s Eye and the middle english in Ivanhoe.
There was one book that I remember was supposed to read like the diary of a poor black girl who didn’t have a stellar education, and the sentence structure and spelling ability was made to mirror that. It was very difficult to read.
I believe the reason we type correctly online for the most part is that many of us have internalized correct spelling. Even though we might say “Prolly going to tha store t’day” we know written out how exactly it should be and so that’s how we write it. And then, we want words delivered to us this way because if we’re seasoned readers, it’s a lot easier to intake. We’re used to reading whole words without accents or purposeful misspellings, so when we encounter that it breaks up our ability to cruise through sentences. As seen above, my mind can’t comprehend phonetic spelling under normal reading because when I read normally, I don’t literally read the words out loud in my head, I simply understand what the words on the page are. I take in whole sentences as ideas. There’s no voice there, it just is. Phonetic spellings require me to make a voice.
Same here. It seems like it would take more effort to write any other way. For instance, my best childhood friend and I have a lot of inside jokes and weird phrases and pronunciations and it takes me at least twice as long to send her written communication because I really have to stop and think how to spell a made up word to “sound” the way we used to say it.
I don’t particularly want to hear anyone speaking non-standard English (unless they’re actually not from this country) and I sure as hell don’t want to read it.
Exactly. Many of us write “proper” English (at least to some degree) not because we’re persnickety grammar Nazis, but because we’re lazy slobs, just like everyone else (as paradoxical as that sounds).
If “proper” English is what you’ve learned to read and write, using non-standard spelling or grammar requires *more *effort, not less. If I was asked to write my posts in txtspk or dialect, I wouldn’t even know how to do it. Or, at least, it would take me three times as long, and give me a massive headache.
The way you speak is not necessarily the way you intuitively write (kids who write in txtspk presumably don’t talk that way, either).
So, it’s just the principle of least effort, as usual. Well, at least to an extent. I suppose everyone has their non-standard quirks. And then there’s also the issue of typos and mistakes.
When I’m driving around and a pedestrian jaywalks in front of me, there’s a part of my brain that says "this fine specimen cares so little about their own life that they have carefully calculated that looking over their shoulder before crossing is not worthwhile. I don’t know them, I can’t judge them, but based on their own assessment of their own worth, why should I value their life more than they do and expend the same amount of energy to honk the horn and hit the brakes?
Similarly, if a writer cares so little about their message being received and understood that they will intentionally obfuscate it with misspellings and obscure local idioms and make it indecipherable I have a hard time believing I should make an effort to receive and understand the message they care so little about.
Same here.
Also, I don’t think I’ve ever asked anyone “how’s it hangin’?”
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It needs said. 
Da noive!
What does “non-prestige” dialect mean? And whatever it means, did you also learn to read and write in it?
You really shouldn’t say that about someones’ mother.
Very good point. I attempted to write in dialect for an online class. It was much harder and I still didn’t feel like it sounded like a real voice. I found myself fighting against my own training.
Must be quite a shock meeting somebody you’ve know online. We are used to their written responses and have no idea what their real voices are like.
DC Comics used to have a forum that swapped in **** for curse words – which made sense, except it would thereby snag people trying to mention Dick Grayson.