# Why do sex dreams always end before penetration? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 4, 2007, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526 "2007-10-04T18:45:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526/1 "2007-10-04T18:45:50Z")
Okay, maybe this is just me, but I find that my sex dreams almost invariably involve a lot of build up, rarely get to actual nudity, and almost never get as far as penetration. Have sex dreams been studied to the extent that one might know how common this is and if so whether the the learned researchers have proposed any likely explanations? ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526/2 "2007-10-04T18:49:48Z")
Maybe it’s not just you, but it’s not everybody. > [@](#): > > In Zadra’s study, participants jotted down every dream they had, whether it was sexual or not. All in all, they noted 3,564 dreams. Of those dreams, 292 included sexual content. > > “Sexual intercourse was the most common type of sexual content, followed by sexual propositions, kissing, and fantasies,” Zadra writes. > **[Your Guide to Sexually Transmitted Diseases](https://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/sexual-health-stds?src=rss_psychtoday)** > > One of the best things you can do to avoid getting a sexually transmitted disease is to become informed. Learn more about STDs from the experts at WebMD. ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526/3 "2007-10-04T18:50:02Z")
It may have something to do with your imagination, or the how often you look at naked people, but there is usually nudity in my sex dreams. Not always penetration, but some sort of sex act, why else would it be a sex dream. Not to orgasm, at least for the last 20 years. You didn’t ask, but Male, hetro, 39 SSG Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![Aioua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@Aioua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aioua)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526/4 "2007-10-04T18:54:56Z")
My dreams rarely get to nudity, and never into actual sex. Though, I’m a virgin, so I don’t have much source material… ^^\* ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526/5 "2007-10-04T18:58:45Z")
[QUOTE=Aioua] I’m a virgin, so I don’t have much source material… ^^\* [/QUOTE] I think there’s something to this. My sex dreams, throughout my life, have gone about as far as my real-world experience at the time. I guess my mind is reluctant to speculate on the great unknown. These days, most of my sex dreams reach penetration. 34, hetero male ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526/6 "2007-10-04T19:00:56Z")
[QUOTE=SSG Schwartz] It may have something to do with your imagination [/quote] Perhaps. After I wake up, I get the feeling of having participated in a 1960s-style sex caper, in which there is a lot of running around, sneaking, avoiding notice, trying to persuade a partner, etc. It’s all fun, but, you know, slightly unfulfilling. > [@](#): > > or the how often you look at naked people Well, I see my wife naked every day, and it’s something I quite enjoy. And if you count pictures of naked people, then I’d say I should have a pretty good reference library for my dreams to draw on. > [@](#): > > Not always penetration, but some sort of sex act, why else would it be a sex dream. Well, I call them sex dreams because they’re \*about \*sex, as in, all the actions within them are taken with sex as a goal, even if the broadcast is interrupted before the culminative scene has aired. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526/7 "2007-10-04T19:03:30Z")
I guess this will generate quite a few thread views. I haven’t had sex dreams in a while, but the ones that stand out in my mind usually involved me scanning porno magazines (for masturbatory reasons), but unable to find any pictures of nude women. That to me seems as frustrating as the “no penetration” aspect described in the OP. It also strikes me as somewhat humorous that in my dreams I was unable to get any, even from myself. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526/8 "2007-10-04T19:14:24Z")
I sometimes have dreams that end in penetration or even orgasm. But “frustrating dreams/nitemares” are very common, those with a goal that keeps getting fruther out of reach. Like Alice and the egg. ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526/9 "2007-10-04T19:16:11Z")
[QUOTE=acsenray] Perhaps. After I wake up, I get the feeling of having participated in a 1960s-style sex caper, in which there is a lot of running around, sneaking, avoiding notice, trying to persuade a partner, etc. It’s all fun, but, you know, slightly unfulfilling. [/QUOTE] Wow, your sex dreams seem better than mine. 😃 SSG Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526/10 "2007-10-04T19:24:47Z")
Mine don’t, at least not always. But, like many dreams, they more often than not involve some absurd scenario and end up going in an entirely different direction altogether. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526/11 "2007-10-04T19:58:34Z")
Heh, I hate sex dreams. I’ve never had a fullfilling one. They always end in frustration. Not a good way to start a day. ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526/12 "2007-10-04T19:59:26Z")
I don’t have that many “frustrated ambitions” dreams, but most of my dreams end before a “touch down” is scored. Maybe because my brain was getting too excited to maintain a coherent dream-state. Dunno. I know that a lot of what I consider exciting about sex isn’t limited to the physical contact, but also the “anticipation” phase. Sharing deep passionate stares and/or kisses, holding hands, and _knowing_ that I’m going to get some in a few short minutes tends to dominate my dreams of late. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526/13 "2007-10-04T20:21:21Z")
I have all sorts of sex dreams. Interestingly, my most recurring sex dream involves the one thing that I can’t do in reality\* (I’m not that limber). \*My partner \*\*\*can \*\*\*do it, one of the many, many reasons why I envy him. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526/14 "2007-10-04T20:48:04Z")
Mine almost always end before orgasm, but not necessarily before penetration. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526/15 "2007-10-04T21:03:44Z")
> [@](#): > > My dreams rarely get to nudity, and never into actual sex. > > Though, I’m a virgin, so I don’t have much source material… ^^\* I almost never have sex dreams, which annoys me, because I have a hyperactive imagination, and a great interest in sex. And I’ve been married for …uhh… longer than I want to admit. I’ve almost never had a dream that even comes close to the subject of sex. Only one case I can recall that even had nudity. But I’ve had several dreams where I INVENT things, and those I can remember – 3D Television (it’d work, too). Butane-powered model cars. THESE I recall. I’m obviously a hopeless nerd. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526/16 "2007-10-04T21:05:00Z")
My [female] sex dreams range from Rated G right through U, NC-17, and XXX, although about half of them only get as far as hitting it off conversationally and exchanging meaningful looks, first kisses or holding hands or whatnot. My main complaint is that I don’t have enough of them (or recall having had them, anyway). I had a doozy last night. Met a cute guy who was definitely a bit of a rascal, who just _happened_ to be in my neighborhood – actually, front yard – again (in the real world, that would be stalking, but this was dreamland, and some of my judgement circuits were switched off), followed by a lot of flirting and talking, and finally some very nice first kisses. With his mother [WTH???] just a few feet away, so we cut it short before he could get overly worked up, dammit (even though this was supposedly happening at _my_ place… on a non-existent screened-in front porch with a non-existent front-porch swing for two… just another dream-logic non-sequitur). :smack: Now if only my Dream Central Casting Couch would send me a cute rascal who happens to be _orphaned_, I might just get somewhere! ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526/17 "2007-10-04T21:07:12Z")
I, um, have sex dreams more than any other kind of dream, and they tend to be widely varied and sometimes a bit bizarre. What I wouldn’t do to have a nice flying dream at times. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526/18 "2007-10-04T21:19:21Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] I almost never have sex dreams, which annoys me, because I have a hyperactive imagination, and a great interest in sex. And I’ve been married for …uhh… longer than I want to admit. I’ve almost never had a dream that even comes close to the subject of sex. Only one case I can recall that even had nudity. But I’ve had several dreams where I INVENT things, and those I can remember – 3D Television (it’d work, too). Butane-powered model cars. THESE I recall. I’m obviously a hopeless nerd. [/QUOTE] So, do/did you just not have wet dreams very often? Or did you ejaculate to dreams of butane-powered cars? If the latter is true, you _are_ a nerd, the likes of which I have rarely seen. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526/19 "2007-10-04T21:41:11Z")
When I was 17-18 or so I had wetdreams every once in awhile and they were quite nice. Not only was there penetration, but there was always a very satisfying orgasm which would often wake me up. Somehow, this seemed to happen mostly in the morning when I was about to wake up anyway and not in, say, the dead of night. But I haven’t had wetdreams like those for quite some time. I really do miss them, which is a rather sad statement. ---
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526/20 "2007-10-04T21:54:12Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] I think there’s something to this. My sex dreams, throughout my life, have gone about as far as my real-world experience at the time. I guess my mind is reluctant to speculate on the great unknown. These days, most of my sex dreams reach penetration. 34, hetero male [/QUOTE] I must be your polar opposite. I have had a relatively vanilla sex life and my dreams are anything but. For example the other night I had a crazy threesome dream with two women. I am a straight female and the closest thing I have had to any female sexual contact was that one kiss in College. You know the story, group gets drunk, one adventurous girl in the group goes around kissing all the other girls to drive the guys crazy. (I was one of the innocents getting kissed ?) Don’t tell my fiancé. He might get ideas… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-sex-dreams-always-end-before-penetration/421526.md?page=2)