# Why do so few women practice auto-erotic asphyxiation? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 4, 2011, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-few-women-practice-auto-erotic-asphyxiation/595185 "2011-09-04T20:32:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-few-women-practice-auto-erotic-asphyxiation/595185/21 "2011-09-05T02:15:06Z")
Men are much more stupid in what risks they will take, sex wise. If a man hears of AEA, he will say “I won’t die!” Women will take at least a millisecond to weigh the risks. Women, as a general rule, can get sex almost on command, as opposed to men. The women can be more selective, ergo, less reckless. hh ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-few-women-practice-auto-erotic-asphyxiation/595185/22 "2011-09-05T02:19:56Z")
I’m going to go with this being another example of an innate difference in intelligence between the sexes. ---
**Author:** ![GythaOgg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/49beb7/32.png) [@GythaOgg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GythaOgg)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-few-women-practice-auto-erotic-asphyxiation/595185/23 "2011-09-05T03:06:27Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > I think this is part of it, along with woman can very easily amp up their masturbation of they want to very easily, just get a larger insert-able object to play with. There is not the same method for males. This is so NOT how it works for women that I don’t know where to start. I think it would be not incorrect to say women are more prone to intensify things by skipping insertion completely and going for more direct stimulation of the most sensitive area, particularly by vibration. See: Hitachi wand, which is not used by insertion but which none-the-less has a reputation of creating eye-crossing, sheet ripping, screaming yourself hoarse intensity. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-few-women-practice-auto-erotic-asphyxiation/595185/24 "2011-09-05T03:38:00Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > It’s crazy dangerous? Maybe the question should be more why do more men do it? But aren’t men more likely to engage in risky behavior in general? Might have more to do with that than with a higher sex drive. This is pretty much what I was going to say. I don’t think there should be any big mystery as to why a non-mainstream sexual practice with a high risk of leading to an embarrassing death isn’t more popular. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-few-women-practice-auto-erotic-asphyxiation/595185/25 "2011-09-05T04:25:32Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > It’s crazy dangerous? Maybe the question should be more why do more men do it? But aren’t men more likely to engage in risky behavior in general? Yes, that was my thought as well. Either women don’t do it, or they do so in a less risky fashion, such as having a partner. And related to that, any cases where a woman _does_ die with a partner could easily be misinterpreted as abuse; if a man suffocates a woman to death and claims it was because she liked asphyxiation and he just screwed it up, I’d expect the normal response would be for people to assume it’s just a really bad attempt to excuse murder. After all, “man abuses or rapes a woman and claims she enjoyed it” is hardly a new scenario, unfortunately. ---
**Author:** ![Huerta88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/82dd89/32.png) [@Huerta88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Huerta88)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-few-women-practice-auto-erotic-asphyxiation/595185/26 "2011-09-05T05:29:46Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > I’m going to go with this being another example of an innate difference in intelligence between the sexes. Despite the complete paucity of fundamental scientific achievements by women, the bell curve, and the differntial distribution of testosterone (hint: it drives the sex drive, and women have less of it?)? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-few-women-practice-auto-erotic-asphyxiation/595185/27 "2011-09-05T05:47:41Z")
[QUOTE=DrFidelius] I’m going to go with this being another example of an innate difference in intelligence between the sexes. [/QUOTE] > [@Huerta88](#): > > Despite the complete paucity of fundamental scientific achievements by women, the bell curve, and the differntial distribution of testosterone (hint: it drives the sex drive, and women have less of it?)? :rolleyes: You’re both wrong. Women have made important scientific discoveries (such as the importance of symbiosis), and even very smart men take foolish risks. This is about judgment, not intelligence alone. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-few-women-practice-auto-erotic-asphyxiation/595185/28 "2011-09-05T06:56:28Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > I found the two to be utterly dissimilar. Sorry for causing a divergence from the OP. As for the OP, I dunno, the idea seems so utterly bizarre that it would never enter my head. It’s like asking why don’t I get off by sitting on tacks. Honestly, this surprises me. Not so much because they would be different, but that you were able to experience a female orgasm, and not just a male one in a different physical location. I guess it has more to do with hormones than the parts themselves. I mean, it’s not like they attached a new part to you, right? And sorry if I am being crass. I just can’t think of any better way of expressing what I’m trying to say. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-few-women-practice-auto-erotic-asphyxiation/595185/29 "2011-09-05T07:07:09Z")
Maybe men are actually attempting to kill themselves and disguising it as auto-erotic asphyxiation. Maybe they think it’s less shameful than overt suicide. If this is true, it returns us to the probability that men are inherently dumber than women. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-few-women-practice-auto-erotic-asphyxiation/595185/30 "2011-09-05T11:57:43Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Honestly, this surprises me. Not so much because they would be different, but that you were able to experience a female orgasm, and not just a male one in a different physical location. I guess it has more to do with hormones than the parts themselves. > > I mean, it’s not like they attached a new part to you, right? > > And sorry if I am being crass. I just can’t think of any better way of expressing what I’m trying to say. Estrogen totally rewired my circuits and made me experience tactile sensation in a vastly expanded, glorious new panoply of sensuality. Analogy with the sense of sight: It was like having been confined in a dark dungeon my whole life and then emerging into the full sunlight of day. Also, the physical methodology of attaining orgasm has also completely changed for me. The old method has been completely abandoned, and has been replaced by means consistent with a woman’s body. I won’t go into more detail than that, because it’s more personal than I feel comfortable discussing, and it’s a divergence from the OP for which I again apologize. The focus has completely shifted too, both in application and in result. Instead of a localized, limited sensation, now orgasm takes place _all through my whole body_ and it’s of an altogether different awesomeness and vastly heightened power and intensity, and best of all it doesn’t collapse in the same moment it happens, but continues on and on, endlessly, with no boundaries to it except my partner’s stamina or a vibrator’s batteries. When I began experiencing female orgasms, I felt I was only now discovering sexuality for the first time. Trust me on this, men don’t know what they’re missing. OK, back to the OP. No more divergence. I mean it this time. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-few-women-practice-auto-erotic-asphyxiation/595185/31 "2011-09-05T13:33:55Z")
Maybe there’s a biological explanation. All sexual drives originate in the desire to procreate. When a man ejaculates as he dies, the odds of him having a child from this act is unlikely but possible. With a woman dies, there’s zero chance that a final orgasm is going to lead to reproduction. So men may have evolved to having a dying orgasm while women did not. ---
**Author:** ![Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hypnagogic_jerk/32/4252_2.png) [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypnagogic_Jerk)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-few-women-practice-auto-erotic-asphyxiation/595185/32 "2011-09-05T22:07:09Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > Yeah, another WAG. I actually don’t know any women who’ve admitted to doing this, and I know women who’ve admitted to a lot. I used to know a woman who was asphyxiophilic, or at least claimed to be. She also felt a certain amount of shame about it, despite the fact that it wasn’t anything she’d chosen. I don’t know if she actually attempted autoerotic asphyxiation or only fantasized about it, though I assume she probably did it at some point, hopefully trying to keep it as safe as possible. ---
**Author:** ![obbn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/d6d6ee/32.png) [@obbn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obbn)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-few-women-practice-auto-erotic-asphyxiation/595185/33 "2011-09-05T23:07:55Z")
> [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](#): > > I used to know a woman who was asphyxiophilic, or at least claimed to be. She also felt a certain amount of shame about it, despite the fact that it wasn’t anything she’d chosen. I don’t know if she actually attempted autoerotic asphyxiation or only fantasized about it, though I assume she probably did it at some point, hopefully trying to keep it as safe as possible. Quite possibly you have hit the nail on the head. Perhaps it isn’t that women don’t participate in this act, but that, out of embarassment, don’t or won’t admit to the behaviour. I think as a whole, men are more apt to share their sexual proclivities with others and to do so without shame. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-few-women-practice-auto-erotic-asphyxiation/595185/34 "2011-09-06T00:46:03Z")
Women seem to be less likely to undertake **any** type of autoerotic activity involving complicated and/or dangerous setups with inanimate objects. SARA (“sexual activity-related accidents”, in medspeak) incidents with vacuum cleaners, shop equipment, etc., also typically occur to men much more than to women. AFAIK, women who find asphyxiation erotic don’t need or want a full-on strangling sensation to get a charge out of it, so it’s more achievable and less dangerous. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-few-women-practice-auto-erotic-asphyxiation/595185/35 "2011-09-06T01:23:26Z")
> [@obbn](#): > > Quite possibly you have hit the nail on the head. Perhaps it isn’t that women don’t participate in this act, but that, out of embarassment, don’t or won’t admit to the behaviour. I think as a whole, men are more apt to share their sexual proclivities with others and to do so without shame. The OP’s statistics are about _death_ from auto-erotic asphyxiation, not self-reporting of sexual behavior. The men involved presumably did not choose to share their kink, it was discovered by others because they died in the act. ---
**Author:** ![obbn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/d6d6ee/32.png) [@obbn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obbn)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-few-women-practice-auto-erotic-asphyxiation/595185/36 "2011-09-06T01:55:57Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > The OP’s statistics are about _death_ from auto-erotic asphyxiation, not self-reporting of sexual behavior. The men involved presumably did not choose to share their kink, it was discovered by others because they died in the act. I was going by the headline of the thread, “why do so few women practice …” ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-few-women-practice-auto-erotic-asphyxiation/595185/37 "2011-09-06T02:01:46Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > I think this is part of it, along with woman can very easily amp up their masturbation of they want to very easily, just get a larger insert-able object to play with. There is not the same method for males. I don’t believe, in this year of 2011, I have ever read anything so utterly WRONG of the ways of women. It’s like reading ‘babies come out through the belly button’, or ‘girls can’t get pregnant on the first try.’ Like ‘all it takes is shoving a butternut squash up there’ for ultimate pleasure! My God, what a notion! ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-few-women-practice-auto-erotic-asphyxiation/595185/38 "2011-09-06T02:07:05Z")
There are plenty of female masochists/submissives. That seems pretty risky to me. I think that shows plenty of women are willing to take sexual risks. I agree with the argument that women are more likely to find a willing partner to explore these things with, while men are less likely to feel comfortable expressing these desires to a woman. A woman who asks to be strangled during sex would be considered only just barely outside the realm of normal, while a man asking the same would be seen as really pervey and unmasculine. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-few-women-practice-auto-erotic-asphyxiation/595185.md?page=1)