# Why do so many well to do pepple dress their kids up provacatively? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2005, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-many-well-to-do-pepple-dress-their-kids-up-provacatively/299254 "2005-04-14T08:07:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2005, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-many-well-to-do-pepple-dress-their-kids-up-provacatively/299254/41 "2005-04-16T21:46:14Z")
I’m not crazy about the way parental income was brought into the discussion, but it does stand to reason that people who are just making ends meet are probably not making expensive dance lessons and costumes for their little girls a top priority. Therefore the people who can indulge this hobby probably are higher up on the income scale. I guess the main real question in the OP is why do people do this. Fast Food Nation does give a good description of marketing to kids. Another good book, The Overspent American, talks quite a bit about how we have been fooled into thinking life is like TV to a much greater extent than we realize. That’s what I’d attritibute this to. How often do you see a woman portrayed in a positive light on TV who isn’t beautiful, or at least trying her darnedest? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2005, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-many-well-to-do-pepple-dress-their-kids-up-provacatively/299254/42 "2005-04-16T22:02:47Z")
> [@zagloba](#): > > I was really creeped out by the photos of Jon Benet Ramsey (on tabloid covers in the checkout line). Not just the clothing style, but the make-up and hair as well seemed designed to sexualize, IMHO. You do realize that those photos were taken when she was glitzed up for beauty pageants, right? I’m sure that she wasn’t tarted up in her everyday life. I think those pageants are degrading, scarring, and stupid, by the way. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2005, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-many-well-to-do-pepple-dress-their-kids-up-provacatively/299254/43 "2005-04-16T22:41:09Z")
> [@bclouse](#): > > This thread reminds me of a news story I read earlier this year. > > While it’s not for adolescent girls, it’s a prom dress for high schoolers. > > I couldn’t imagine letting my daughter (if I had one) wear this anywhere, much less to a high school prom filled with a bunch of hormone pumped up boys. Even the CEO of the company that makes the dress said he wouldn’t let his daughter wear it. > > I’ve seen porn stars with more taste (well, I’ve heard of them 😃 ) Um, actually, the girl is wearing the dress _backwards_. [Here’s the real story.](http://wizbangblog.com/archives/004895.php) ---
**Author:** ![bclouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@bclouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bclouse)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2005, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-many-well-to-do-pepple-dress-their-kids-up-provacatively/299254/44 "2005-04-16T22:49:46Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Um, actually, the girl is wearing the dress _backwards_. > > [Here’s the real story.](http://wizbangblog.com/archives/004895.php) Ha ha! That’s pretty funny. I actually saw this story posted in several sites when I was looking for a cite. It’s not quite as bad but it’s still a little much for a prom dress IMO. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2005, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-many-well-to-do-pepple-dress-their-kids-up-provacatively/299254/45 "2005-04-16T23:44:44Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I know what he’s talking about-those little dance lessons little girls take-ballet, tap, tumble, jazz, etc. They tend to wear sparkly leotards and flippy skirts (in other words, DANCE gear, because you can’t dance in overalls!), and they do wear make up for recitals-because they’re on stage under the lights, and you couldn’t see their faces otherwise. I don’t know – I think they’re referring more to the dance team sort of dancing, like what a middle or high school would have. Some schools have groups of girls doing awfully adult moves – I’ve seen a few at parades and such that left me saying, “My kid’s not learning to dance like that until she’s 18!” (If I had a kid, which I don’t.) And of course they’re wearing leotards and stuff, but it’s not what they’re wearing that’s really the problem. It’s the moves. ---
**Author:** ![singlefile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f475e1/32.png) [@singlefile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/singlefile)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2005, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-many-well-to-do-pepple-dress-their-kids-up-provacatively/299254/46 "2005-04-17T00:46:09Z")
I totally agree with Dangermom. But I have to add that even IF you should find an age appropriate outfit, just see if you can find shoes without heels. I have a 12yo daughter that wears a size 9 shoe. Luckily she is more into comfort than style, but it’s hard to find much that’s practical. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2005, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-many-well-to-do-pepple-dress-their-kids-up-provacatively/299254/47 "2005-04-17T00:49:42Z")
> [@whiterabbit](#): > > It’s the moves. ( / ) ( | ) ( \ ) ( / ) ( | ) ( \ ) :::d&r::: ---
**Author:** ![1010011010](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/ea666f/32.png) [@1010011010](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1010011010)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2005, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-many-well-to-do-pepple-dress-their-kids-up-provacatively/299254/48 "2005-04-17T00:58:05Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Um, actually, the girl is wearing the dress _backwards_. > [Here’s the real story.](http://wizbangblog.com/archives/004895.php) Seems to be a [common mistake](http://www.impressionbridal.com/images/prom2005/ad376L.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2005, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-many-well-to-do-pepple-dress-their-kids-up-provacatively/299254/49 "2005-04-17T01:31:36Z")
Regarding dance - ballet, tap, creative movement - that’s one thing… … but I have attended a dance recital where a group of 8 year old girls were dancing to “Money Money”, shaking their booty like there was no tomorrow, gyrating away… Hip pops, pelvis bops… no. No no no no no. Not any child of mine, let me tell you… Other “groups” were no better - they looked like like little prostitutes gone bad. Urgh. The ballet/tap/CM kids were cute in their tutus and floppy skirts, though. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2005, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-many-well-to-do-pepple-dress-their-kids-up-provacatively/299254/50 "2005-04-17T01:40:03Z")
> [@Faith is Good](#): > > I watched Dr. Phil today and it reminded me of my better off friends and relatives many of whom have their little girls in dance schools. I attended a show with one of my friends and was astonished at the sexual, provacative nature of many of the dances (and skimpy clothes) in girls as young as five or six. I’d like some clarification here. If you’re talking about “dance schools” like a “Mary Ellen’s Studio of Dance” where people take tap, jazz, ballet etc lessons, then I have some experience in these. I took dance lessons from age 3 until I was 14. Up until recently (I’m a month away from being 23), I was very self-conscious. My mother is extremely conservative. But recital time was FUN! It was the one time of year where I wore sparkly velvet and feathers and sequins and spandex! My mom loved putting stage makeup on me. If you looked at me, at 6 years old, I looked like a little whore with my makeup. 😃 But you had to have makeup like that, or you couldn’t see people’s features way up on stage with bright lights. If people want to see, I can dig up a photo of me in a recital costume to show, just let me know. I agree that in everyday wear, though, there’s a trend towards the ‘prostitot’ look, and I don’t agree with that. But if you’re just talking about dance recitals, it’s just once a year and a special occasion. ---
**Author:** ![Martha\_Medea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@Martha\_Medea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martha_Medea)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2005, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-many-well-to-do-pepple-dress-their-kids-up-provacatively/299254/51 "2005-04-17T10:30:59Z")
> [@dangermom](#): > > We go to the grocery store, and see shelves upon shelves of junk food and cartoon-based cereals. In every aisle, we say no to 60% of what is in the store. We go to the clothing store, and say no to 80% of the awful stuff on the racks. We turn on the TV or the radio, and say no to MTV, popular music that makes Britney Spears look like a bluestocking, and shows that glorify sex and violence and plastic-model looks. We say no to 50% or more of the contents of Toys R Us. Has there ever been a bigger onslaught of stuff we have to say no to, and fewer things we can say yes about? Parenthood has become a constant, unending battle to keep our own society out of our homes. I’m going to print this out and frame it. 🆒 When I see the clothes on sale intended for little girls, and some of the stuff I see them wearing (seven-year-olds in platform heels? four-year-olds in fluffy mules with kitten heels?) I thank the random forces of the universe that in my case a sperm with the y chromosome won the race to the egg. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2005, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-many-well-to-do-pepple-dress-their-kids-up-provacatively/299254/52 "2005-04-17T14:08:32Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > > [@zagloba](#): > > > > I was really creeped out by the photos of Jon Benet Ramsey (on tabloid covers in the checkout line). Not just the clothing style, but the make-up and hair as well seemed designed to sexualize, IMHO. > > You do realize that those photos were taken when she was glitzed up for beauty pageants, right? I’m sure that she wasn’t tarted up in her everyday life. I think those pageants are degrading, scarring, and stupid, by the way. Yes, I realize that. Doesn’t make the photos any less creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Abbie\_Carmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Abbie\_Carmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abbie_Carmichael)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2005, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-many-well-to-do-pepple-dress-their-kids-up-provacatively/299254/53 "2005-04-17T15:18:41Z")
> [@dangermom](#): > > We turn on the TV or the radio, and say no to MTV, popular music that makes Britney Spears look like a bluestocking, and shows that glorify sex and violence and plastic-model looks. This could be avoided if one just ditched the TV (or, if you can’t live with that, get TIVO that way you can be rid of the commercials and only see the shows you want to see). Seriously – why not? Can anyone name 10 TV shows that are so great and worthwhile to watch these days that they make putting up with the garbage worth it? It’s hard for a kid to want inappropriate stuff when they’re not seeing commercials for it all the time. You can’t completely stop a kid from seeing them, of course, but you can put one hell of a dent in it. I don’t know one family without a TV that \*doesn’t \* have their kids excelling in school AND a peaceful atmosphere in their home – not to mention daughters who dress like they’re 15 instead of 30. 😉 As far as small kids go, any children’s show worth watching can be found on DVD and video now. I totally see your point about saying “no” all the time, though. James Dobson made a good point in one of his books that sometimes parents use their authority to say no not just to bad things, but things that they simply don’t feel like dealing with that are actually good. I try to say “yes” as much as possible (not so much for material things but just minor, everyday things) because I know there will be a day when “no” will be said over something very serious. “No” can get watered down to where it means “maybe” when it should take on the tone of one of the commandments. It’s all about picking your battles, I think. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2005, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-many-well-to-do-pepple-dress-their-kids-up-provacatively/299254/54 "2005-04-17T18:02:28Z")
I can only imagine that it has gotten worse. When my daughter was small, finding appropriate clothes wasn’t a problem. But get out of 6X and all hell breaks loose. We actually bought some American Girl clothing in order for her to have a “nice” Christmas dress that didn’t make her look like a floor show at Vegas. She is 15 now and all the clothes are designed for 19 and up. Molly Flinders (or is it Polly?) has good clothes, as does Hannah Andersen. But they are $$$. Target? Fugeddaboutit. Thank God for dress codes, archaic as they may seem–it at least puts a lid on those girls who think it grand to dress like a hooker at school. **dangermom** --you rock! ITA. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2005, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-many-well-to-do-pepple-dress-their-kids-up-provacatively/299254/55 "2005-04-17T20:10:15Z")
Okay, well. I dated a dancer for about 3 years, I lived with **another** dancer for about 2 1/2 years. I spent a shitload of time hanging around the dance department at Sarah Lawrence College. I mean, dozens and dozens of dancers. I have some news for you. **Nobody** looks tarty after a 3 hour rehearsal. Nobody. Everyone looks like a drowned rat, soaked in sweat and achy as heck. That includes young girls and pre-teenage young women who dance. It’s brutally hard work. It’s not prancing around, posing in a slutty manner because they are wearing leotards. Young women like this one, in her normal [Dance leotard](http://www.custardpie.co.uk/images/26/tara_big.jpg). There are, of course, more “flashy” [Performance leotards](http://www.illusioncostumes.com/illusion/img/home.jpg), that are worn frequently for recitals. One can also dye one’s own outfit. This reasonable [Selection of Leotards](http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.winnersall.com/catalog/images/tankleotard_small.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.winnersall.com/catalog/default.php/cPath/22&h=150&w=150&sz=4&tbnid=oNj79fmLG50J:&tbnh=90&tbnw=90&start=16&prev=/images%3Fq%3DDance%2Bleotards%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26safe%3Doff) shows different cuts and angles of wear, as well as the classic taffeta approach. Look, I’ve got a 13 year old daughter and were she to be a dancer, she would wear any variety of these outfits and I would not think twice. They are not worn anywhere but in studio, or in recital hall. I find the judgements passed in the OP to be a wee bit narrowminded, and perhaps not in keeping with the spirit of dance classes and the world of dance in general. One does not purchase leotards to tart up one’s self or daughter ( or son ). One purchases leotards and dance costumes to make the dance performance look more graceful, and each dancer appear more lithe and graceful. The issues of younger girls/pre-teens dressing in tarty garments is a separate issue entirely. Cartooniverse [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-so-many-well-to-do-pepple-dress-their-kids-up-provacatively/299254.md?page=2)