# Why do some people address me as "Mr. \[Firstname\]?" **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 21, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856 "2011-07-21T15:03:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/1 "2011-07-21T15:03:29Z")
I generally don’t care what people call me. Heck, my mentor in college _never_ learned how to pronounce my family name correctly, and it’s not that hard. I’ll even answer to first names that aren’t _quite_ my own, when folks get confused - think “Dan” instead of “Dave,” though neither is mine. But there’s one form of address I find truly irritating - “Mr. [Firstname].” For example, “Mr. Bob.” It’s generally used by people with a bit less education, I believe, though I could be mistaken on that - the front-desk staff in my apartment building use it, for example. I don’t get it. If you want to call me by my first name, that’s fine. Frankly, I’m far more used to that than “Mr. Smith.” But if you feel a need for formality, fine, whatever - “Mr. Smith” it is. “Mr. Bob,” though, just sounds profoundly silly to my ears. And I’m mildly curious as to where that particular quirk would come from. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/2 "2011-07-21T15:04:55Z")
My Dad does that. It’s just a way of speaking. I wouldn’t worry about it. ---
**Author:** ![Keeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@Keeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keeve)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/3 "2011-07-21T15:05:44Z")
From Forrest Gump, as in “Lieutenant Dan”? ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/4 "2011-07-21T15:11:24Z")
What annoys me is when people address me by my last name as if it were my first, as in if my name was John Smith, “hey Smith, how’s it going?”. I had a managing partner who always did this, and it always sounded wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hypnagogic_jerk/32/4252_2.png) [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypnagogic_Jerk)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/5 "2011-07-21T15:25:57Z")
No, no. Mistuh John is no home. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/6 "2011-07-21T15:29:52Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > But there’s one form of address I find truly irritating - “Mr. [Firstname].” Content/poster name for the effing win, baby. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/7 "2011-07-21T15:30:16Z")
It’s a Southernism. Mr./Miss Firstname is how you address a person of quasi-authority in a friendly yet respectful manner. Now if you don’t live in the south I’m confused. ---
**Author:** ![Mother\_Popcorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac8455/32.png) [@Mother\_Popcorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mother_Popcorn)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/8 "2011-07-21T15:32:40Z")
I noticed this more when I moved to the south. I believe it is more of a ‘southern’ way of speaking to say “Mr. [first name]” If you’re familiar with Gone with the wind, you will notice “Miss Scarlet”. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/9 "2011-07-21T15:46:25Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > It’s generally used by people with a bit less education > [@Hello Again](#): > > ``` > It's a Southernism. > > ``` Well, there you have it! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/10 "2011-07-21T15:56:33Z")
> [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](#): > > No, no. Mistuh John is no home. LOL. You beat me to the punch. ---
**Author:** ![paperbackwriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@paperbackwriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paperbackwriter)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/11 "2011-07-21T15:56:50Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > It’s a Southernism. Which, of course, explains Sam’s frequent use of “Mr. Frodo” ? > [@Hello\_Again](#): > > Mr./Miss Firstname is how you address a person of quasi-authority in a friendly yet respectful manner. Which is exactly how Tolkein uses it, demonstrating that this is used in more places than just the Southern U.S. Any stratified classist society will likely develop a similar usage. I’ve known Indian contractors that routinely addressed superiors in software companies this way, for example. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/12 "2011-07-21T16:12:27Z")
> [@paperbackwriter](#): > > Which, of course, explains Sam’s frequent use of “Mr. Frodo” ? > Which is exactly how Tolkein uses it, demonstrating that this is used in more places than just the Southern U.S. Any stratified classist society will likely develop a similar usage. I’ve known Indian contractors that routinely addressed superiors in software companies this way, for example. Let me say that a little more clearly. This usage is not uncommon, but in the United States, it has died out everywhere but the South. Thus, to American ears, it is a Southernism. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/13 "2011-07-21T16:34:14Z")
I’ve also noticed it a lot in situations not even involving authority, but particularly as people age, and particularly in the black community. There’s a 50-something waitress at our Waffle House that even has “Miss Lynn” on her nametag, but at work, there are a couple of other pharmacy techs that everyone addresses with a “Miss”. ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/14 "2011-07-21T16:45:45Z")
First names are used universally in Thailand, with a prefix (Dr., Mr., etc. as appropriate). If not for the surnames printed on school uniforms, close friends might not even know each others’surnames! IIRC, the white pages of a Thai phone book are sorted on first name. My fellow expats and I have have taken to calling each other Mr. Bob, Mr. Dave, etc. Perhaps this seems odd to newcomers. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/15 "2011-07-21T16:59:36Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Well, there you have it! 🙂 You’re going on my List. 🙂 Dammit, I hope Santa asks for references again. ---
**Author:** ![paperbackwriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@paperbackwriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paperbackwriter)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/16 "2011-07-21T17:27:22Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > Let me say that a little more clearly. This usage is not uncommon, but in the United States, it has died out everywhere but the South. Thus, to American ears, it is a Southernism. I appreciate the clarification. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/17 "2011-07-21T17:33:01Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > What annoys me is when people address me by my last name as if it were my first, as in if my name was John Smith, “hey Smith, how’s it going?”. I had a managing partner who always did this, and it always sounded wrong. All of the male gym teachers I had in school did this. The only other teacher\* that did was a social studies teacher I had senior year who’d address boys by their surname (occasionally with “Master” in front) and always addressed girls as Miss (surname). I always thought it a little strange that male gym teachers uniformly did this because they usually addressed the girls by their given names. The female gym teacher addressed all of us by our given names. \*Okay senior year our French teacher started addressing us with “_vous_” and calling us as “_Monsieur_/_Mademoiselle_ (surname)” saying that this was the custom in France for students in their finale year of _lycée_. After a few weeks she gradually slipped back into using _tu_ and calling us by our fake French names. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Know\_Nothing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f04885/32.png) [@I\_Know\_Nothing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Know_Nothing)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/18 "2011-07-21T18:09:05Z")
Lived in (urban)Texas 34 years. I always thought it was black southern way of speaking. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/19 "2011-07-21T19:13:18Z")
Just watch an episode of _True Blood_. All the kids in Hot Shot call Jason “Mr. Jason”. If ever there was a bunch of uneducated southerners, they are it! 🙂 For those not familiar with the show, “Hot Shot” is a remote town with a bunch of inbred Meth Dealers who are basically cut off from the rest of society. Or, as one cast member referred to them: “\*Deliverance \*extras”. They are also werepanthers, but that’s a whole 'nuther story… n.b.: I’m totally kidding about the uneducated southerners part. The Hot Shot kids are that, for sure, but that is not to say that the expression is an indication of being uneducated. ---
**Author:** ![Al\_Bundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@Al\_Bundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al_Bundy)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/20 "2011-07-21T20:22:03Z")
When I chaperon on school trips the teachers all have the children refer to me as Mr. Firstname. It’s a way of connoting respect without getting too personal. Nobody is writing you a contract. They just want to be respectful without much detail. Also, most people know how to pronounce “Bob” while fewer know how to pronounce Bobaleuskiew. Just be glad they’re calling your name. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856.md?page=2)