# Why do some people address me as "Mr. \[Firstname\]?" **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 21, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856 "2011-07-21T15:03:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Infoseeker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e68b1a/32.png) [@Infoseeker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infoseeker)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/41 "2011-07-22T22:24:02Z")
It’s fashionable to your location. At the east coast, I am Mr. First name. Now in Michigan I am Mr. Last name. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/42 "2011-07-23T01:29:08Z")
> [@dangermom](#): > > Hm, I live in CA and every preschool teacher I’ve ever known has been called Miss Joan or Miss Patty. My mom does storytelling at the library, and is known all over town as Miss Firstname (despite the fact that she’s over 60 and has been married for 40+ years–with a teachery title like that, it’s always Miss). > > It’s more friendly than Mrs. Lastname, but still conveys authority and respect. Just in a cuddly way. Here it’s cute but very uncommon. Back when I worked with kids 3-6, one of our five-year-olds was told by his mom that calling a teacher by their first name was rude, so he called us all “Miss [first name]” which was adorably charming. None of the other kids did, though. ---
**Author:** ![mac\_bolan00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b3f665/32.png) [@mac\_bolan00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mac_bolan00)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/43 "2011-07-23T09:01:26Z")
a canadian used to call me that way. he’s from southern canada, i think. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/44 "2011-07-23T09:47:21Z")
It seems to have been a universal pre-K daycare thing when my daughter was growing up in Texas. Every caregiver was “Miss Lynda, Miss Irene,” etc. The only time I’ve found myself addressed that way was among non-native English speakers who frankly didn’t strike me as very sophisticated. ---
**Author:** ![Reza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Reza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reza)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/45 "2011-07-23T21:03:44Z")
Hi everyone, This topic is very interesting for me, for in my culture, people address one another by Titles + First name. And, when they learn English and wants to speak English, they say Mr/Mrs + First name. And I always correct my people, never say that, since in English language [As grammar says] , titles never comes with First name, but whether Family name or Full name. So, I didn’t know that, over there, you use Titles with First names! Please tell me how common or rare is the case over there. I’d be grateful, if you mention in which States this is more common. [Even mention the city, if possible]. How about UK and Canada? Do they? ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/46 "2011-07-23T21:44:41Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Content/poster name for the effing win, baby. _snort_ I honestly don’t see the problem here. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![hibernicus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hibernicus/32/2802_2.png) [@hibernicus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hibernicus)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/47 "2011-07-23T22:14:16Z")
> [@rezafo](#): > > How about UK and Canada? Do they? I haven’t heard it used in Ireland. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/48 "2011-07-23T23:11:57Z")
I’ve been under the impression that it’s an Hispanic thing. For example, the Hispanic gentleman who works behind the counter in the deli I frequent for lunch always refers to me as “Mr. Dave”. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2011, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/49 "2011-07-24T00:29:21Z")
Never ran into this until I lived in Virginia. I really like it; there were several ladies with whom I worked that were called ‘Miss Firstname’ all the time, and now that I’m in California I hear it on occasion as well. I really, really like it for some reason. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2011, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/50 "2011-07-24T01:02:56Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > It’s a Southernism. > > Mr./Miss Firstname is how you address a person of quasi-authority in a friendly yet respectful manner. > > Now if you don’t live in the south I’m confused. Very Southern. My friends with children instruct them to call me “Ms. SCL” until I tell them otherwise. It’s a form of respect, while still implying the respect due to an elder. I still respect my elders, it’s just getting harder to find them. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2011, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/51 "2011-07-24T02:35:45Z")
It is fascinating how varied interpersonal interactions are in this country. I have observed this phenomenon during my travels across the US. If I understand it correctly, many feel the need to lower themselves before those they perceive as above them on some imagined social hierarchy (e.g. individuals with an earlier birth date, one’s boss, the president, etc.) The ritual described in the OP is one manner of doing this. Omission of the honorific denotes a failure to “respect” the addressee, a grave mistake amongst those who subscribe to this dieing social fantasy. In the few areas where this speech pattern is still prevalent, one sees it quite often when children address adults. Since children are not yet real people, to address an adult as a fellow human is a grave offense that requires correction and possibly punishment. When the speech direction is reversed (i.e. adult to child) the honorific may be omitted, as is befitting a lesser being. I understand that a similar system used to be in place for interactions between people of different races when one race was perceived as lesser than the other. I have found that the ritual is not so strongly in place for interactions amongst adults, because I have not yet encountered people who objected to my calling them by their name or names alone, or who object to addressing me without honorifics as requested. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2011, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/52 "2011-07-24T08:49:10Z")
> [@rezafo](#): > > Hi everyone, > > This topic is very interesting for me, for in my culture, people address one another by Titles + First name. And, when they learn English and wants to speak English, they say Mr/Mrs + First name. And I always correct my people, never say that, since in English language [As grammar says] , titles never comes with First name, but whether Family name or Full name. > > So, I didn’t know that, over there, you use Titles with First names! > > Please tell me how common or rare is the case over there. I’d be grateful, if you mention in which States this is more common. [Even mention the city, if possible]. > > How about UK and Canada? Do they? It’s common, but it’s also non-standard, so I would continue to advise them against it. As you can see, it’s at least slightly more common (or perceived as being more common) among the lower class, less educated, and less affluent or in regions of the country that are perceived as such. It’s also more common among foreigners who speak English as a second language than among native speakers. So even if they use it perfectly, they may be perceived as fitting a stereotype they wish to avoid. On the other hand, because it’s non-standard, it’s _never_ incorrect to avoid using it. > [@Ruken](#): > > It is fascinating how varied interpersonal interactions are in this country. I have observed this phenomenon during my travels across the US. If I understand it correctly, many feel the need to lower themselves before those they perceive as above them on some imagined social hierarchy (e.g. individuals with an earlier birth date, one’s boss, the president, etc.) The ritual described in the OP is one manner of doing this. Omission of the honorific denotes a failure to “respect” the addressee, a grave mistake amongst those who subscribe to this dieing social fantasy. In the few areas where this speech pattern is still prevalent, one sees it quite often when children address adults. Since children are not yet real people, to address an adult as a fellow human is a grave offense that requires correction and possibly punishment. When the speech direction is reversed (i.e. adult to child) the honorific may be omitted, as is befitting a lesser being. I understand that a similar system used to be in place for interactions between people of different races when one race was perceived as lesser than the other. > > I have found that the ritual is not so strongly in place for interactions amongst adults, because I have not yet encountered people who objected to my calling them by their name or names alone, or who object to addressing me without honorifics as requested. Or maybe you have it backwards. It used to be that titles were commonly used among equals, even between married couples. Only a child, a servant or an animal would be spoken to without a title. Nowadays, with our youth culture and the flow of popular culture from the lower classes upward (where it used to flow generally from the upper classes downward) people no longer want to be treated like adults. We want to wear children’s clothes (t-shirts and baseball caps) and use the latest slang and act insulted if someone calls us “ma’am” or “sir” because it suggests we might be _old_. We see nothing wrong with being spoken to the way slaves and “lower classes” were once addressed because we feel better pretending to lower ourselves to create equality rather than risk bringing others up to what was once the norm. Or maybe it’s all just cultural flotsam that changes like hemlines and hairstyles. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2011, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/53 "2011-07-24T10:34:33Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > This is also pretty common in the United States, especially among high school boys, especially jocks and military types. > > Addressing people by last name was once common in professional situations and in schools. Yah, echoing the trivia that people being on a last-name basis with each other is a common Militaryism in the US. In our case, I’m betting it’s mostly because we all have our last names stitched onto our uniforms (presumably to make laundry easier:D) It gets really fun when someone has an unusual or hard-to-pronounce name. I knew a guy we called S-15, and once answered to a Senior NCO we all called “Master Sergeant N” Me, my last name is easy to say, two-syllables, no particularly exotic pronunciations. But it’s unusual. So I have to keep my ears tuned to about 50 various pronunciations and potential nicknames of varying quality and politeness. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jormungandr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@Jormungandr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jormungandr)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/54 "2011-07-25T01:00:26Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > What annoys me is when people address me by my last name as if it were my first, as in if my name was John Smith, “hey Smith, how’s it going?”. I had a managing partner who always did this, and it always sounded wrong. I’ve had this happen to me a few times. Mostly with classmates who were immigrants from Asian countries where the name order is reversed. ---
**Author:** ![Kevbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/55 "2011-07-25T05:17:58Z")
I actually don’t mind this one. Mr. Lastname was my Dad, and having people call me that makes me feel as old as I am getting to be. I knew a family with 4 daughters that all used to call me Mr. Firstname. The only problem was I could never keep the three younger daughter’s names straight…They were three fashionable names for girls born around then, but the eldest had a pretty unusual name so it was easy to keep straight. Many years ago I dated a girl who went to a beauty college. They were sticklers about calling students and teachers Miss Firstname, or Mr. Firstname. I have noticed lots of Hair stylist’s stick with that. My GF had a favorite teacher, Miss Liz, and I am quite sure I never heard her last name…not even sure GF knew it. ETA, yeah it’s a Southern thing. I have known several people who refer to their mom as Miss Firstname, Just like on “Dallas”. ---
**Author:** ![JpnDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/838e76/32.png) [@JpnDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JpnDude)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/56 "2011-07-25T05:25:11Z")
More than a few relatives of my Japanese wife call me Mr. \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ (given name). For them, it’s the equivalent of “\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_-san” but with an English flair. Hehehe. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/57 "2011-07-25T05:35:09Z")
My wife tells the story about one of her Japanese coworkers speaking to an American customer: COWORKER: May I take your coat, Mr. . . . .? CUSTOMER: Call me Peter. COWORKER: May I take your coat Mr. Callmepeter? ---
**Author:** ![\_cc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/e19b73/32.png) [@\_cc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_cc)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/58 "2011-07-25T08:15:21Z")
Because “Mister Son of Mogh” sounds weird. For the record, calling peers by last name only (with no “Mr.”) was the norm in my midwestern highschool. ---
**Author:** ![Huerta88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/82dd89/32.png) [@Huerta88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Huerta88)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/59 "2011-07-25T12:28:46Z")
I’ve seen it too with recent immigrants. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s the custome back home or if they really just don’t have an instinct for what are first names and what are last names in English (especially in cultures where surname/given name are reversed). ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856/60 "2011-07-25T12:32:03Z")
It’s one thing I loved about having a female given name as a last name and a family name as a first name. No one ever called me by my last name. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-address-me-as-mr-firstname/589856.md?page=4)