# Why do straight white men hate to dance? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 24, 2003, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-straight-white-men-hate-to-dance/190523 "2003-07-24T02:03:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-straight-white-men-hate-to-dance/190523/81 "2003-07-25T02:34:36Z")
Mostly straight white male here. So white that when I take my shirt off, moths swarm around me. šŸ˜‰ I get no enjoyment out of dancing whatsoever. I would, honestly, get more enjoyment out of alphabetizing the soups in the cupboard, or mowing the lawn, or watching ā€œBattlefield Earthā€. The only reason I would ever dance would be to attract women. However, the sort of women that I would attract while dancing are exactly the type of women I donā€™t want to attract. Ergo, I have no reason to dance. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-straight-white-men-hate-to-dance/190523/82 "2003-07-25T02:50:53Z")
Iā€™m a straight, white male and I love to dance. Or at least Marcie thinks I love to dance. I made her think I love to dance by dancing with her at every opportunity. Why? Because Marcie loves to dance, thatā€™s why. I just wish I was good enough to really dance. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-straight-white-men-hate-to-dance/190523/83 "2003-07-25T03:29:26Z")
Iā€™m straight Iā€™m white I dance ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-straight-white-men-hate-to-dance/190523/84 "2003-07-25T04:06:10Z")
Iā€™m as straight as a ruler and as white as John Ashcroftā€™s Christmas card photos, and I just love to dance. I have no moves, but I bust them anyway. And you know why I love dancing? Because once I tried it I found out two important things: 1. Nobody thinks less of you for it. They think more of you for it. 2. Chicks like it. I mean, I am not any sort of a brain surgeon, but maybe I was more perceptive than the average student, because when I was in university it took me approximately eight seconds for me to see that the girls outnumbered the boys 5 to 1 on the dance floor but the boys were not taking advantage of this, so where was I going to impress the women - out there dancing with them, or back at the table drinking beer with guys? Iā€™ll take Dance the Night Away for $600, Alex. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stranger\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@The\_Stranger\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stranger_1)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-straight-white-men-hate-to-dance/190523/85 "2003-07-25T04:55:19Z")
Straight White Male. I will dance if asked, and can manage to not look like a complete idiot. I canā€™t say I truly enjoy dancing, and I have to constantly remind myself to NOT break into a Kata. ---
**Author:** ![Trigonal\_Planar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/0ea827/32.png) [@Trigonal\_Planar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trigonal_Planar)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-straight-white-men-hate-to-dance/190523/86 "2003-07-25T05:43:09Z")
Slow dancing is even worse. How anyone can do this and take it seriously, Iā€™ll never understand. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-straight-white-men-hate-to-dance/190523/87 "2003-07-25T05:45:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Trigonal Planar \* > \*\*Slow dancing is even worse. How anyone can do this and take it seriously, Iā€™ll never understand. \*\* Do what I did when I went to Prom! Play Bumper Cars on the floor with other couples! ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-straight-white-men-hate-to-dance/190523/88 "2003-07-25T06:24:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ianzin \* > **They donā€™t because they are too uptight and self-conscious to relax, let go and follow the music wherever it takes them, and enjoy it as a form of physical self-expression.** No, thatā€™s not it. I donā€™t ā€œlet go and follow the musicā€ because I _canā€™t_. Trust me. Iā€™ve had numerous women trying to teach me this, and I just _canā€™t_. Iā€™ve got no rhythm. I donā€™t have any ā€œsenseā€ of music. I donā€™t think Iā€™m tone-deaf, exactly, but I have some kind of ailment that makes me miss an essential part of music, and what it is, no-one has ever been able to explain to me. Try explaining colour to someone blind from birth. Play a note. Oh, take a c. Then play a c one octave higher. You hear? I canā€™t hear any relationship between those notes whatsoever. None. I canā€™t tell theyā€™re the same note. Thereā€™s nothing. > [@](#): > > **They think thereā€™s something distinctly ā€˜uncoolā€™ about it, whereas whatā€™s really uncool is never being able to enjoy dancing.** Doesnā€™t apply to me either. Iā€™d think it was really, really cool to be able to dance. I hate not being able to. > [@](#): > > \*\*They donā€™t because they donā€™t realise how easy it is to learn to dance moderately well, so that you begin to enjoy the relationship between what the musicā€™s doing and what your body is doing. \*\* But for me, it isnā€™t easy. Itā€™s really difficult. Iā€™ve tried. > [@](#): > > **And secondly, if a man is so physically uptight and self-conscious and joyless on the dance floor, why should any woman expect heā€™s going to be much fun (or much use) in the bedroom - when free and un-self-conscious enjoyment of physical self-expression is so important?** Bullshit. This is like saying Mike Tyson must be good in bed because heā€™s a good boxer. Well, was, anyway. Now, Iā€™m not a totally hopeless case. If I can hold the girl I can usually feel the rhythm through her and move with her moderately well. But the minute she lets go, I just stand still. I donā€™t freeze up; my brain is working fine. I just donā€™t have _a single clue_ what to do next. None. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-straight-white-men-hate-to-dance/190523/89 "2003-07-25T07:32:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RickJay \* > \*\* > 2. Chicks like it. I mean, I am not any sort of a brain surgeon, but maybe I was more perceptive than the average student, because when I was in university it took me approximately eight seconds for me to see that the girls outnumbered the boys 5 to 1 on the dance floor but the boys were not taking advantage of this, so where was I going to impress the women - out there dancing with them, or back at the table drinking beer with guys? Iā€™ll take Dance the Night Away for $600, Alex. \*\* Though the downside of this is if you donā€™t enjoy dancing, then youā€™re attracting women who like it and then will expect you to do it. Kinda like going to a church social to meet women even though you are an athiestSure, youā€™ll meet women, but are those the women you want to date?( assuming you want to date other athiests). Or a very conserative person going to a meeting of the ā€œWorld Socalist workers partyā€(Iā€™m paraphrasing). If you like it, more power to you, but doing something you donā€™t enjoy to attract women/men who do enjoy that probably doesnā€™t really help you in the long run. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-straight-white-men-hate-to-dance/190523/90 "2003-07-25T07:51:14Z")
Never do something to attract girls that you donā€™t want to be doing for the rest of your life. ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-straight-white-men-hate-to-dance/190523/91 "2003-07-25T12:41:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by brainfizz \* > **All they have to do, though, is remember that how good you are on the dance floor correlates to how good you are in bed** This must be it. I was in a club with a woman I had just meet a couple of months ago. She said to me, ā€œHave you ever watch people dance and wondered how they fuck?ā€ I had to answer no because I never thought that way. Later on I asked her if she had seen anyone she wanted to fuck, she never did answer me. It never did lead to anything and I left for home the next day. ---
**Author:** ![TheNerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-straight-white-men-hate-to-dance/190523/92 "2003-07-25T15:37:01Z")
> [@](#): > > **ianzin** said: > and they think they will look like an idiot if they try to dance. Because itā€™s 100% certain. I have never ever seen anyone that didnā€™t look like a complete idiot when dancing. From professionals right down to the drunk who just fell off the table, all dance looks idiotic to me. Thatā€™s not to say I canā€™t see dancing talent. I just think theyā€™re acting like idiots _really well_. Now, whether or not other people would find it the same is completely irrelevant to me. Iā€™d be behaving like an idiot in my own perception, so Iā€™m not going to do it. On the other hand, I have taken swing and ballroom dance lessons with my girlfriend. Apparently Iā€™m even decent at it. But god itā€™s awkward and annoying. ---
**Author:** ![SunTzu2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5a626/32.png) [@SunTzu2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SunTzu2U)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-straight-white-men-hate-to-dance/190523/93 "2003-07-26T06:27:08Z")
Why do you have to be so uptight about dancing? I fit the strait, white and man lable and I was raised with the attitude to go and do things and if others have nothing better to do than to point and stare then damn them! Seriously, I love to dance and Iā€™m good at it. At our 20th HS reunion I was one of the only guys dancing with the women. If I had not been married I probably would have hooked up with one of my old female classmates. I certainly was popular with the women that night. Screw the guys who donā€™t have the ca&H(^nies to get out on the dance floor and be somebody. It just leaves more for the guys who do dance. I even dance when I snowski. Iā€™m the guy you see listening to music and mogul bouncing down the hill full tilt. Music helps me time my turns and even pumps me up to take some jumps and get a little air time. Iā€™m also a musician and played professionally for a while so I guess I donā€™t suffer from stage fright either. I think most guys who donā€™t dance are just a little insecure and afraid of what other people think. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Friendly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Mr\_Friendly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Friendly)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-straight-white-men-hate-to-dance/190523/94 "2003-07-26T10:06:33Z")
straight white british male here- never used to like the whole dancing thing until uni, now iā€™ll get up there and shake my booty with the rest of them. find being with lots of your girlfriends help as theyā€™ll make you feel better about yourself (rup up against you etc) which helps you let go. other than the normal dance, rnb type crap my real choice would be drum and base, really get going to that. other than that I suppose you wouldnt count slamdance as real dance but thatā€™s my true love. I go for the creepy crawly, windmill or skank style, usually an intense blend of the three. (this is best if youā€™re very liquored up) ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-straight-white-men-hate-to-dance/190523/95 "2003-07-26T15:41:22Z")
Straight, white male here. Can I dance? A little. I donā€™t look significantly more ridiculous on the dance floor than any other straight white guyā€¦ which is all any straight, white guy hopes for (ā€œI KNOW I look like a fool out here! ALL of us guys look like fools. Just so long as Iā€™m not THE one fool everyone is noticing!ā€). Do I enjoy it? Wellā€¦ letā€™s put it this way: dancing is one of the things a guy has to do to make women happy. Itā€™s sort of like going to a Kenny G concert (which I have done, twice!): itā€™s not torture. Occasionally, itā€™s even pleasant. But mostly, itā€™s something you endure, even though you can think of roughly 10,000 things youā€™d rather be doing. Question for the straight white guys who claim they actually LIKE dancing: if women didnā€™t like dancing so much, would you STILL want to do it? If youā€™re with a bunch of men, and a catchy song comes on the radio, do you STILL have the urge to boogie? ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-straight-white-men-hate-to-dance/190523/96 "2003-07-26T16:02:25Z")
Iā€™m a single white male, multi-instrument player for two decades, and I hate the freeform goofy club dancing for several reasons. 1. Thereā€™s no goal. 2. Thereā€™s no instructions. 3. Iā€™m not familiar with the music so Iā€™m _sure_ there will be some cool drum break that I wonā€™t react to, but to which every one else will, and Iā€™ll be the only one still moving. In order to be familiar with it, one must continue to go to the club and listen to it, and I donā€™t even like the music all that well. 4. Thereā€™s no feedback unless youā€™re particularly good at it. 5. The point of what youā€™re _really_ there at the club for (picking up skirt, most likely) doesnā€™t seem to correlate to the activity youā€™re doing. On the other hand, I square-danced for years as a teen and found it to be a lot of fun ā€“ as long as nobody from my school found out about it, of course. And I would _love_ to take swing dance lessons. That sounds like tremendous fun! The question is a bit weird, though. You might as well ask why girls donā€™t play baseball and guys do ā€“ or they enjoy playing some kind of sport or game. (Come on, if you get your generalization, I get mine.) In baseball: 1. There is a goal. 2. There are instructions. 3. There is only one ball and everybody will react to it, and since there are instructions, knowledgeable players will react to it in more or less the same way. 4. There is feedback whether you are good or bad at it, and your performance can be statistically scored. 5. The point of what youā€™re _really_ there for is to play baseball; it is its own activity. All your energy is focused on your goal, instead of on some nebulous factor of ā€œfeeling the ballā€ or ā€œenjoying the spaceā€ or ā€œbeing alive.ā€ I love playing softball. I hate dancing. Most white men are the same as I. Most women are the opposite. I wonder if thereā€™s a correlation here. šŸ™‚ That said, I get a lot of female attention by playing the piano and singing. I wonder if itā€™s something about self-expression that ties to both music and dance. (Or if theyā€™re just wondering what else I can do with my hands. Maybe I should start a thread on thisā€¦) FISH ---
**Author:** ![Jonmarzie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jonmarzie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonmarzie)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-straight-white-men-hate-to-dance/190523/97 "2003-07-26T19:34:47Z")
Wow. It appears that most of the white straight males here who like to dance are good at it. I also fit the white straight male description, and I like dancing. However, I am bad at it, especially the no-instruction stuff. I really enjoy swing, waltz, foxtrot, and other ballroom activities. I find that if there are basic instructions, you can be more expressive. No-instruction music leaves me with the same feeling as when a professor told a class I was in, ā€œWrite a 20 page paper on a subject of your choice.ā€ By the time I decided what to do, the paper was due the next day. The same is true for me and the extremely open music. I donā€™t just not know what to choose to do; I donā€™t even know what I _can_ do. I end up looking like a deer in headlights vaguely bobbing my head up and down until the song ends. I especially enjoy swing with the classic frame, with no flopping around. Maybe Iā€™m just weird that way. (And itā€™s a great feeling to hold someone and have them tell you that you have a great frame. šŸ†’) Dancing is fun, but it isnā€™t for everyone. But if you are afraid to do it because you arenā€™t any good, just have a good friend who is good at it teach you. ---
**Author:** ![Trigonal\_Planar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/0ea827/32.png) [@Trigonal\_Planar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trigonal_Planar)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-straight-white-men-hate-to-dance/190523/98 "2003-07-26T19:53:39Z")
Hmm, some good points there Fish. Now, I personally donā€™t like baseball either, but I agree with much of what you said. To me, thereā€™s no point to dancing; it doesnā€™t accomplish anything; it doesnā€™t advance one towards some ultimate goal. An example from my life would be model building. I donā€™t know too many females who are into RC hobbies/model railroading, etc. But I love it. There is a goal - the completion and enjoyment of the finished product and action of building the model is what brings bout that completion. There is feedback - how well built is it? Does it even work? I can correct these, and work towards the completion of a newer, better model. Dancing to me is just a bunch of random, pointless ā€œstuffā€. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-straight-white-men-hate-to-dance/190523.md?page=4)