# Why do we all want a threesome? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 27, 2005, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407 "2005-03-27T00:02:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/1 "2005-03-27T00:02:47Z")
By “we”, I mean us guys. I figured this should go in IMHO because there is probably not a factual answer, and I’m looking for individual opinions. We are all familiar with the stereotypical male fantasy of “two chicks at the same time”, as Lawrence from _Office Space_ put it. Why? Is there some primal urge involved? How did this become the holy grail of sexual conquests? Any guys who do not share this fantasy? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/2 "2005-03-27T00:18:04Z")
I don’t. My fantasy involves one woman with whom I’m in love with, and who is in love with me. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/3 "2005-03-27T00:29:31Z")
Why only guys, out of curiousity? Lots of girls want threesomes, too, although it’d be 2 guys and a girl instead. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/4 "2005-03-27T00:31:07Z")
I don’t want a threesome _per se_, it’s just that I want to have sex with as many women as possible in the shortest period of time. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Violaceous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Miss\_Violaceous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Violaceous)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/5 "2005-03-27T00:42:10Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Why only guys, out of curiousity? Lots of girls want threesomes, too, although it’d be 2 guys and a girl instead. I’d take any combination I could get. :-p But yeah! Why just guys? ---
**Author:** ![Unregistered\_Bull](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3da27b/32.png) [@Unregistered\_Bull](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unregistered_Bull)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/6 "2005-03-27T00:55:13Z")
It’s not the Holy Grail. I’ve never fantacized about it. As far as phyiscal action goes, I usually fantacize about certain sex acts or a combination of them with a known woman. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/7 "2005-03-27T01:13:25Z")
> [@Miss Violaceous](#): > > I’d take any combination I could get. :-p > > But yeah! Why just guys? Well…I’m straight, so I can’t say most other girls interest me. There are one or two, though, that I would definitely make an exception for. And I don’t think it’s the holy Grail or anything, just something to try once before you die. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/8 "2005-03-27T01:39:42Z")
This was a discussion I got into with a friend. Basically, about why the guy wanting a three-way has become so accepted as “the” guy fantasy. It certainly is in the pop culture I’m exposed to, along with most of the guys I know. Maybe Doper’s are just weird and don’t have the same fantasies as the people I hang out with. Maybe my friends are just weird. And no woman I know IRL has ever listed this (in any comination) as one of their fantasies. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/9 "2005-03-27T01:48:01Z")
My husband claims not to have this fantasy, if that is any help. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/10 "2005-03-27T02:20:41Z")
Well, I guess I’ll go on record as saying I would like a threesome (two girls…I’m not a big fan of penises…), but it certainly isn’t my ultimate goal in life, and probably not even the most desireable sex goal I have (not that I have “sex goals,” but I couldn’t figure out any other way to describe what I mean.) As to why? Well, I have two theories. 1. It’s a sort of “conquest” thing. It’s seems to be agreed upon by most guys (or at least it’s played up to be agreed upon by most guys) that getting a woman to have sex with you usually isn’t easy, and if you manage to get to that point, you’ve sort of “won,” in a way, and beaten the competition. Well, if one woman is that hard, then getting two at the same time is even harder, and therefore more rewarding a “conquest,” and the more that man can be seen as the Alpha Male amongst his peers. or, 2) A woman is hot. Having sex with a woman is awesome. Two woman are hotter, and having sex with two women i s awesomer. 😃 (I prescribe to #2.) ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/11 "2005-03-27T02:31:02Z")
Been there, done that. Trust me, sometimes fantasy is much better than reality. My experiences didn’t work out nearly as well as they do in the porn films. Besides at 34, it’s just too much damn work. I’ll take one on one any day. (Not saying it wasn’t fun to at least try though) ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/12 "2005-03-27T02:35:16Z")
You should try six sometime. And I do think it’s an ‘younger’ man thing. Hell, most of them have trouble landing the one…I think it’s natural to want to land more at once. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/13 "2005-03-27T02:40:35Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > Any guys who do not share this fantasy? This is not one of my big ones. While I do not find it repulsive, it isn’t what I’m fantasizing about. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/14 "2005-03-27T02:56:56Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > And no woman I know IRL has ever listed this (in any comination) as one of their fantasies. Well, you can put one woman on your list, even if I don’t know you IRL. It’s not my top-level fantasy by any means (what \*that \* is you’ll \*never \* find out!) but, yeah, I’d jump at the chance of two guys. There is a Doper around here who positively adores DP - I can’t remember her name but I read her few posts regarding it avidly. And I’d certainly consider two females. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/15 "2005-03-27T03:13:28Z")
Pfft, I’m just getting used to having someone else to make up a _twosome_ for the first time in my life since a bit before December '04 😛 ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/16 "2005-03-27T04:11:32Z")
for the girls who like threesomes - how about foursomes? is there a difference? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/17 "2005-03-27T04:20:31Z")
> [@shijinn](#): > > for the girls who like threesomes - how about foursomes? is there a difference? Uh…you know, that totally turns me off? Don’t know why, it’s kind of weird. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/18 "2005-03-27T04:26:36Z")
Too many parts at once! Heh. I’m open to the idea of either a threesome with two guys or a girl and a guy, but it’s not something without which I will die bitter and unfulfilled. Right now, I want one person who wants me, and that’s really my permanent, er, sex goal. ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/19 "2005-03-27T04:33:08Z")
Because they’re fun? I read the title of the thread and it asked why _we_ all want a threesome, but then the first post said it was talking about men, so I guess my answer is maybe not valid, because I’m not a man. But they are fun! ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/20 "2005-03-27T04:35:23Z")
Why? Because, dude, it just _has_ to be as much fun as it looks. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407.md?page=2)