# Why do we all want a threesome? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 27, 2005, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407 "2005-03-27T00:02:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/21 "2005-03-27T04:45:58Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Uh…you know, that totally turns me off? Don’t know why, it’s kind of weird. ah, but i think guys generally won’t be turned off by more, unless they’re exhausted. so for the OP i’ll wag that it’s something akin to wanting a harem. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/22 "2005-03-27T04:46:03Z")
Isn’t it screamingly obvious? If one is good, two must be better. As some have pointed out, that’s not likely to be the case in reality, but that’s why it’s the fantasy amongst the male pop cultures. For the record, I know of many women who have wanted or have happily taken part in threesomes before. I haven’t. I can’t get a woman to look at me as anything other than a repellent weird waste of space, unfortunately. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/23 "2005-03-27T04:54:03Z")
Don’t know about guys fantasies, but I wouldn’t mind having a threesome with two guys. There’s some things that I wanna try out… ---
**Author:** ![1010011010](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/ea666f/32.png) [@1010011010](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1010011010)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/24 "2005-03-27T05:25:04Z")
_ **Probably veers off into deep TMI territory…** _ I knew this girl in highschool… really dirty slut. Bisexual, too. And, on the rare occassions where she wasn’t high or looking to get high, fairly intelligent… so of course we were friends. The girl to whom I lost my virginity used to date this friend. I didn’t know this. I don’t think they were aware I knew each of them seperately for a while. It was generally great fun watching them paw at each other and make out, but I knew a _little_ too much about the friend’s history to ever encourage its escalation or participate. I was such a nice boy. It was going to happen one day, though. I think they decided on it amongst themselves a long time before and were just testing the waters, waiting for the right moment to drag me onto a suitably soft surface and ravish me. Sooo… yeah. Funny thing happens, though. One day after a series of events I had typed out until remembering this isn’t that type of message board, TMI disclaimers or not, it comes to pass that I have the friend and the girlfriend in my room. The GF has the friend’s panties in her pocket because my mom came home unexpectedly. So I’m having a normal conversation across the stairs with my mom about why we’re home early and what totally benign things we’ve been doing… while they start, very quietly, to try to break my concentration. The conversation ends and I wander over for a better view. At some point the friend reaches out for my hand, and begins guiding it towards some unspecified part of her body. I remember a terribly visceral revulsion at the thought of touching her (Yes, we were friends, but she was still a diseased skankwhore), and I suppose they figured that out, since we pretty quickly moved on to boring platonic things. Looking back, I think I should’ve jumped all over that. I don’t know, all the weird unresolved sexual issues from that day forward made it a very interesting relationship… but… agh, when is that situation going to happen again? NEVER. And I let a little thing like a concern for my own health and wellbeing get in the way of some hot three-way action. The twist is, though… once a little bit of realism creeps in and slaps the crap out of my nostalgic enthusiasm, I know I’d never do anything at all with that girl unless I had a fresh set of notarized blood and culture tests declaring her certain to be free of infection. And I’d still wear a condom. Did I mention we were friends? It was complicated. Well, that’s my threesome story and I’m sticking to it. ---
**Author:** ![Freejooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba8739/32.png) [@Freejooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freejooky)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/25 "2005-03-27T07:14:26Z")
I think the “conquest” thing is the right angle - the thing that makes it “the ultimate” is how damned-near impossible it is. Of course, hooking up a threesome with her best friend/co-worker/sister is even MORE “ultimate.” ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/26 "2005-03-27T07:35:04Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > This was a discussion I got into with a friend. Basically, about why the guy wanting a three-way has become so accepted as “the” guy fantasy. > [@GuanoLad](#): > > As some have pointed out, that’s not likely to be the case in reality, but that’s why it’s the fantasy amongst the male pop cultures. Why is a one-guy-two-girl threesome known as the standard male fantasy? That’s easy: we guys are willing to admit it. It’s simultaneously daring and vanilla, so it’s safe to tell anyone. Not that there’s anything wrong with that… ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/27 "2005-03-27T07:50:16Z")
MFM or FMF…either works for me. As does MFMF or FFMFF or FMFMFFM or… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/28 "2005-03-27T08:15:21Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > I don’t. My fantasy involves one woman with whom I’m in love with, and who is in love with me. One woman whom I’m in love with and one who is in love with me – adds up to three in my book. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![nevermore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a587f6/32.png) [@nevermore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nevermore)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/29 "2005-03-27T10:26:38Z")
_waits for **Finn** to pop in with the caveman logic_ ---
**Author:** ![Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/eada6e/32.png) [@Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_You_Big_Red_Fire_Engine)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/30 "2005-03-27T11:04:52Z")
Apparently going from one girl to two girls increases the enjoyment exponentionally. Of course, this was from a guy who had never had a threesome, so :rolleyes: From the guys that have had threesomes, disappointment. A lot of fumbling etc. Some guys don’t share the fantasy, some girls do. ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/31 "2005-03-27T13:23:26Z")
Dude, women are like Voltron. The more you hook up, the better it gets. Seriously, it’s fun to ponder, but there are certain practical issues present in multipartner sex that are just too complicated for me. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/32 "2005-03-27T13:50:31Z")
I’ve had the incredible fortune and pleasure to experience a variety of these situations. My gf is cool that way. 😉 She’s cool in many other important ways, but this is just one of them. Anyway, it’s fun. We enjoy it from time to time. Not the holy grail of sex, but fun. The unexpected reality for us is that no matter how attractive, fun, sexy the other person(s) is/are, the best sex is still just between the two of us. To be honest, it’s a bit of a relief that this turned out to be the case. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/33 "2005-03-27T14:14:35Z")
Umm, 'cause multiple hands on your body at once increase nerve sensation and sexual stimulation? Notice that the threesome ideal in horny teenage movies doesn’t have much for the boy to do - he’s pretty much laying back with a stupid grin on his face while he’s being pawed over by two or more hot young thangs. And just laying there while people touch you feels really good - try it with platonic clothed massage sometime. Laying there while people touch your bare skin is even better. And laying there while people touch your naughty bits - all at once, like one person is physically incapable of doing due to joint placement and number of limbs - well, it can be mindblowing. But once you’re also trying to satisfy others at the same time, things get awkward and elbows seem to mulitply. Manuvering becomes difficult and noses get bashed. Of course, if the right people are involved, lots of laughter and good feelings are possible. If you groove right, it becomes a dance. But just as ballet is easiest alone, and most beautiful with two partners, this dance with more than two people takes practice and being in sync. I prefer “taking turns” when working with multiple partners. You just lay there while we make you feel really good, then we’ll switch! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/34 "2005-03-27T14:18:01Z")
I wouldn’t really like a threesome, MMF or MFF. I’d prefer to put my efforts into pleasing one person. Add another person and things get complicated, technically and emotionally. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/35 "2005-03-27T14:24:29Z")
…as to why? Well, it’s sexy. I mean, all that skin and limbs and curves and angles. There is an incredible erotic energy and vibe when things get going. Plus, there is an ebb and flow to things (if done right) which prolongs the experience. The down side to this dynamic is the hyper awarness that you need to maintain to make sure you are aware of personal boundaries. Something that is far easier to keep track of when it’s just between two people. ---
**Author:** ![Merhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Merhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merhouse)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/36 "2005-03-27T18:29:14Z")
Originally Posted by shijinn for the girls who like threesomes - how about foursomes? is there a difference? > [@Anaamika](#): > > Uh…you know, that totally turns me off? Don’t know why, it’s kind of weird. Maybe it’s like sambuca and coiffee beans? Odd numbers good, even numbers evil? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/37 "2005-03-27T18:58:31Z")
> [@Merhouse](#): > > Maybe it’s like sambuca and coiffee beans? Odd numbers good, even numbers evil? 🙂 So its like the opposite of Star Trek movies. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/38 "2005-03-27T19:25:37Z")
> [@Merhouse](#): > > Originally Posted by shijinn > for the girls who like threesomes - how about foursomes? is there a difference? > > Maybe it’s like sambuca and coiffee beans? Odd numbers good, even numbers evil? 🙂 I’ve figured it out. See, if I’m with two guys, I’m presuming all the attention’s going to be on _me_. If it’s me and another girl and a guy, all the attention’s on _him_. There’s still intimacy and personal attention. Put more people, and all that seems to fly out the window, and it’s just a free-for-all. No one’s special. ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/39 "2005-03-27T20:18:14Z")
I thought that it might be that visual porno thing going on…Think watching a porno with a partner (band name) which means that basically you are getting some and watching some. With a threesome, it is the same…you get to watch the porn, and be part of it too. And you can be the Director and control the shot as well “Suck that clit/dick, suck it!” I’ve done a MMF and a MMFFFF…Both were fun, both were interesting, and in both cases, I never had an orgasm. Weird, huh? There were two times involving two and three couples (no sharing, just proximity), and even then it took us somehow crawling/screwing into another room before I could orgasm…I must have stage fright! 😛 -Tcat ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407/40 "2005-03-27T20:32:42Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > Been there, done that. > > Trust me, sometimes fantasy is much better than reality. > > My experiences didn’t work out nearly as well as they do in the porn films. > > Besides at 34, it’s just too much damn work. > > I’ll take one on one any day. > > (Not saying it wasn’t fun to at least try though) That’s about it in a nutshell. It’s something to experience if you have an urge, it definitely is a memory (‘ies’, actually I experienced that twice, both times oddly enough with sets of sisters…) you don’t forget. But not something to ever pursue again. If circumstances just fell into my lap - so to speak - I wouldn’t get up and walk away but it’s a lot of damn work. At this age, it’s a lot more satisfying to spend my time and energy with one woman. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-we-all-want-a-threesome/296407.md?page=3)