# Why do you hate me? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 9, 2013, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827 "2013-02-09T23:02:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2013, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827/1 "2013-02-09T23:02:18Z")
Is it because I skinny dip in mall fountains on Friday afternoons? Is it because I wear designer sunglasses while showering? Is it because my clip-on tie collection sold for $3,000 on eBay last year? Is it because I have a Santa Claus tattoo covering up a Keith Richards tattoo on my inner left thigh? Is it because I smoke Quaaludes at senior citizen orgies in the spring? Please, give me an itemized list of why you hate me. I’m writing a memoir. Go! ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2013, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827/2 "2013-02-09T23:05:53Z")
And please don’t tell me it’s because I wear knee socks and a wet suit to the opera. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Linctus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2013, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827/3 "2013-02-09T23:40:44Z")
I do not hate you. With more information provided it is just about possible that I could hate something you would be up to, although it doesn’t seem that way. However I will never hate **you** because I do not believe the you that experiences things (at the most fundamental level) has free will. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2013, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827/4 "2013-02-09T23:52:11Z")
[You’re not special like me?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2i0bgYeJBA8) ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2013, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827/5 "2013-02-09T23:52:47Z")
I hate you because your Yahoo email account sends me spam. I’m OK with the other stuff, and in fact I think that you should be skinny dipping in mall fountains at least three times a week. Especially if they have those ultra cool color changing lights. You should totally make sure that you do your dipping during the light show. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827/6 "2013-02-10T00:07:50Z")
My email still sends you spam? Okay, I’m putting that in my memoir. That’s a legit reason for hate. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827/7 "2013-02-10T00:13:31Z")
> [@Simple\_Linctus](#): > > I do not hate you. With more information provided it is just about possible that I could hate something you would be up to, although it doesn’t seem that way. However I will never hate **you** because I do not believe the you that experiences things (at the most fundamental level) has free will. Weak sauce. Next! ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827/8 "2013-02-10T00:19:40Z")
Several years ago you bumped the we-have-pigeon-eggs thread and I can never forgive you for that. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827/9 "2013-02-10T00:53:30Z")
You put ketchup on your hot dogs. Reason enough to hate _anybody_. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827/10 "2013-02-10T00:54:31Z")
I don’t hate you, but I could learn how. ---
**Author:** ![dexter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dc4da7/32.png) [@dexter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dexter)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827/11 "2013-02-10T01:13:23Z")
Do you remember that day? Yeah, that day. Well, I do. The things that you did and said that day couldn’t be forgiven by Gandhi himself. If I were to watch you roast in hell for a thousand years, it wouldn’t be enough. And as if that wasn’t enough, I know that you look back on that day with fond reminiscence. What kind of sickness is that? You are a walking commercial for abortion advocacy. That day, the day that only you and I know about, is the reason I hate you. Is that strong enough?😃 ---
**Author:** ![dexter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dc4da7/32.png) [@dexter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dexter)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827/12 "2013-02-10T01:46:59Z")
On the other hand, sorry about killing your thread. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827/13 "2013-02-10T01:50:29Z")
You hang your toilet paper the wrong way. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827/14 "2013-02-10T02:01:55Z")
1. I hate you because I don’t know what your name means. 2. I hate you because, according to the SDMB gallery, you hold your beer with your pinky finger out. 3. I hate you because according to the same source, you have a polka dot short sleeve shirt and a brown t-shirt with a bad sexual pun on it. But I’m sure you’re a lovely person. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827/15 "2013-02-10T02:10:22Z")
I hate you because your orange beard clashes with my red tie, and we live in the same world. Imagine the faux pas people will think I’ve committed when they realise this. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827/16 "2013-02-10T02:21:19Z")
I hate you because you swept the Tony awards with your one man show about the childhood of William Howard Taft. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827/17 "2013-02-10T02:26:13Z")
I only hate you because you are the kind of person who needs to know why I hate you. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827/18 "2013-02-10T02:31:16Z")
Hate is too strong a word. Do I dislike you? Yes. Do you disgust me? Yes. Am I offended by your existence on this planet, or any other planet or stellar body? Yes. Would I rather die a slow, horrible death than be in your presence? Yes. But hate you, of course not, that would be unfriendly. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827/19 "2013-02-10T02:48:48Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > I only hate you because you are the kind of person who needs to know why I hate you. Indeed, I much prefer the people that go blithely through life, not caring one whit why I stare at them with the smoldering embers of Dante’s Second Level of Hell, imagining them hit by a runaway ice cream truck, their milquetoast physiques impaled by a hundred popsicle sticks in the twisted wreckage while the flames of unleaded gasoline mix with their lifeblood and melted red, white and blue Bomb-Pops, as I jump to my feet, laughing like a drunken hyena while tipping over my plateful of their worchestershire-marinated entrails and a insolent little Merlot from Argentina, and maniacally grabbing passers-by singing “You’re next, you’re next/Oh be not thou much vexed…” in a falsetto that’d make Freddie Mercury sound like Barry White and scaring the neighborhood urchins who are the only ones that see through my Hugh Beaumont-esque demeanor and glimpse the kind of apocolyptic hatred reserved for those who start self-absorbed internet discussions… and Oprah. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827/20 "2013-02-10T03:22:24Z")
I hate your for constantly rubbing your happiness in everyone’s face. That, and because, knowing what I know now, I can never drink from a mall fountain again. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-you-hate-me/649827.md?page=2)